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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 252
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It is almost ten months since i found out about my FWH A.We are doing real well.We have came along way.A little back round it was a two month A Sex was five times.It took five months for him to tell me that part.It was always they tried once.Anyways the first time they tried would be next week.I think during Nov was when it happened the five times.My H says he thinks it was all in Nov with just talking on the phone in Dec,because there was just no time.I also have to remember that he lied and lied to cover up lies.Now i think he really is confused from all his lying.
My main point is this we no longer have sex we make love.It is wonderful.I was telling my H that i don't think i can make love from the first time they kissed which was Oct 22 until at least the end of Nov when he thinks they stopped with the sex cause lack of time.My H also went to school full-time so in Dec he had lots to do.So i in a way believe maybe they did'nt.She was also married. I was wondering what anyone thinks of this idea i don't want to go threw thinking was this the day was this the day and so on.My H Says he will do whatever i want as long as i'm okay.Like i said he has changed so much.
Or am i being STUPID? #1 mom
Me BW 31
Him FWH 30
Married 13yrs
D-day 12/04
NC right away
New job
Some set backs due to whole truth coming out over a few months.Other wise great first and only recovery.
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Joined: Aug 2005
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Let me see if I am understanding you right. Are you not wanting to have sex on the anniversary days of when your w/s had sex with the o/p?
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46 Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005 28 years of marriage DD 26, DS 24 O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 252
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Posts: 252 |
Yes that is what i'm saying.I know it sounds dumb.I just do'nt want to wonder did they do on this day.I know the first time they actully did it was on Nov 9th his birthday. #1mom
Me BW 31
Him FWH 30
Married 13yrs
D-day 12/04
NC right away
New job
Some set backs due to whole truth coming out over a few months.Other wise great first and only recovery.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 981
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Posts: 981 |
Ok, I have reread your post. In my personal opinion, I would not give your w/h and his o/p's affair the dignity of honoring them with a no sex day. Your marriage is the important thing. You say you have recovered. I think it would be a shame to ask your husband to not share his love on those days. Instead, if it was me, I would book a romantic weekend, and enjoy the fact that you and your husband have restored your love and marriage and you, honey, went home with the prize.
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46 Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005 28 years of marriage DD 26, DS 24 O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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kds beat me to the punch...
I would really "rock it" on those nights...
Make my claims on my territory..
Last edited by mimi1254; 10/13/05 12:18 PM.
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Posts: 252
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KSB, Thanks for you reply.I asked in a different post how to celabrate my H b-day since that was the first time they did it.Someone told me to take back the day,make it ours.I quess this is what i have to do for those two months.I know it was a big mistake in my H life and we have to move on.
thanks #1mom
Me BW 31
Him FWH 30
Married 13yrs
D-day 12/04
NC right away
New job
Some set backs due to whole truth coming out over a few months.Other wise great first and only recovery.
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 252
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 252 |
Thanks Mimi I quess i have alot of planning to do. #1mom
Me BW 31
Him FWH 30
Married 13yrs
D-day 12/04
NC right away
New job
Some set backs due to whole truth coming out over a few months.Other wise great first and only recovery.
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 981
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Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 981 |
KSB, Thanks for you reply.I asked in a different post how to celabrate my H b-day since that was the first time they did it.Someone told me to take back the day,make it ours.I quess this is what i have to do for those two months.I know it was a big mistake in my H life and we have to move on.
thanks #1mom You are welcome, by the way, that was me that told you to take back your husband's birthday too. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
In the end, I have nothing to lose but everything to gain, by trying to save my marriage.
Me, betrayed wife 46 Former Wandering Husband, 51 E/A 2005 28 years of marriage DD 26, DS 24 O/W aka, Rat 29, A-D Assisted Living Discovery 8-20-05 Recovery ongoing.
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