It has been a week ago yesterday since he told me about NC being broken. I am heart sick still. I believe my WH has been lying about alot of things. It seems to me he is telling me what I want to hear and doing what he wants anyway. I do not even care to ck on him anymore. I feel he has lost all interest in our home. He tells me when he is happy he is going to fix things and do this and that. Nothing ever gets done. I am tired of him lying to me to make me happy for a little while. If I tell him how I feel I don't think he will care.
My beautiful cat is missing and has not come home. I asked him to help look for her. He has done that at least. I have been searching. I feel like I could just sit down in a corner and cry. He saw me starting to cry and did nothing but go back to his old jeep to work on it. If he cares about me you'd think he would have come over and held me. This cat is my little girl who I love so much. If I loose her who will keep me company? Man I am so sad today.
To top off everything else my son who is New Orleans with the guards appartment is flooded back in NH. I am sick of this life. Everything in my life is ****** right now.

Hi Realtor,

I often feel like losing hope. It's not time yet for you if he is still home and there hasn't been any divorce.

I'm sry about your cat. Hope you find it soon

You really need some care and attention. Do you have any family or friends close by to help you deal with the junk? Sometimes just talking with my friends helps me sort through everything and be myself again. Sometimes, it is the wonderful people here at MB who really help me gain perspective and hope again.

Can't tell much from your post about your situation. Have you read the info on this site about infidelity? Have you been following Plan A? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Loni

Loni I have been doing everything for almost a year now. I am just exhausted.

Realtor -

You have been in Plan A for so long....I don't know your whole story......Has he committed to going back to NC again?

I am so sorry you are sad today. {{{{Realtor}}}} We all have to look to tomorrow for a better day sometimes.

Kimberly
D-Day May 14th
DS age 6
Married 13 years
Plan B 10-11-05 NO Contact so far

Realtor -- I am so very sorry for your pain.I don't post very often but have been lurking for over a year and following your story. I defer to those with more expertise, but perhaps it is time for your husband to realize how empty life might be without you?I myself am recovering from D Day -I-don't-even-know-what-number and realize if I had really tried a great Plan B things may be different. Wishing you some strength and peace to find your way.

Sorry you are still feeling so bad. And I hope you find your kitty. I have two, and I love them very much.

The only bright thing in this is if your marriage does not work out, I promise you life can be good again. I'm so happy that I almost feel like thanking WH for having the affair.

Believer - that is so wonderful to hear from where I sit. I'm delighted life is treating you so well at the moment. It is quite heartening to read a good success story whether or not the marriage was saved. I hope Realtor feels the same.

realtor...
I am sorry about your cat...I hope you find her! I lost my kitty right after my H left, it was heartbraking....I know how you feel, when I lost her I felt like I lost another best friend...but on a good note..I got this new kitty now and she is wonderful....life keeps on going and as believer said...life will be good again....
take care...
Daisy

Yes, life will be good again!

*realtor, I haven't been tracking your story, but from where I sit (divorced), Plan B sounds good. It may not change your H's direction, but it sure can change yours.

-AD

((( Realtor )))

I know exactly how you feel. Through all the constant lies, I detached myself from WH. My heart just couldn't take much more. It is a rollercoaster, that's for sure.

When I feel like I am really at the end of my rope - I raise my hands to God, and say - You deal with it. I can't. - This brings me much peace. Try it if you like. You will feel the stress leave your finger tips. Really.

We are all here with you. Take care of yourself.


Best regards - car

I am so sorry for all your pain Realtor,
Maybe it is time to talk to the Harley's about what you should do. You are right, a year is a long time, and I can imagine how weary you are of all of this.

Take care, Realtor.

You have no hope that your life won;t improve over right now?

I'd say you MOSTLY have hope, Realtor. To quote bart Simpson, that well know philosopher " this situation defies physics, it blows AND sucks at the same time! ".

But hope springs eternal.

Hoping for a better future is a great star. Add some effort and planning and you start taking steps out of the sh*t and on to the good.

Your life NOW may not seem to contain much in it that you WANT, but that doesn't mean its all bad Reator.

Have hope. USE hope with effort to get out of your low.

All blessings.

Thank you all of you. Feel better today and have decided to take the bull by the horns and just tell him how I feel. My cat came home last night scared to death. she was covered in spider webs and shaking so badly. She is resting peacefully and I am so thankful to God for sending her home. I just love this cat so much. She is a real joy to me. Different than any of my others. She plays so much and she is 9yrs old. She plays hide and seak with me around the house. She is my little girl.
I'll let you know what my WH has to say for himself. I do not expect anything but shall try.

I have given up. I tried yesterday. I tried real hard. I did everything I could. No talk just babble. Ignored me ect. I am done. Then to top it all off when I approached him last night for some kisses and hugs I was told in a very clear and stern voice to JUst STOP. So I have shut down and will never approach him again. I am planning on a D. I will save my money and have him served here or at work.

R,

Sorry that this is happening to you right now. I know that this is very difficult and having your cat go missing is just horrible.

I am a total cat person and can certainly understand the importance they have in our lives. One of my three was diagnosed with cancer 9 months following D-day. I spent $7K on treatments trying to save him but the cancer got the best of him last June.

Most days, the loss of him is harder to handle than my FWH A. I hope you find your little girl....I'll say a little prayer that she comes home safe and healthy!

WM

Realtor*--I recall about six months ago or more your post regarding your H lying. Back then you believed he was never totally up front with you about this whole thing. And since honesty is ESSENTIAL to recovery, its seems you have never truly had a chance to work on recovery. (Though I have to say it really sounds like you have done a lot of self-discovery-growth personal recovery. Didn't you say you lost 70 lbs. THAT IS AMAZING WAY TO GO!!!)

Anyway, I say all this because it seems that you are on empty after spinning your wheels in a false recovery....though a D is not necessarily the answer is it? Is it truly the best answer for you---or simply exhaustion and anger speaking. Why not go to Plan B first? What do you have to lose doing that?

I feel so horrible words can not say enough. I know he is just not into me anymore. I know he stays for this house. That is all. I am ready to move on. I am saddened by the lose of my M and all the things I hold dear. I lived my whole life without love of a Spouse until the day we met. I am 53 now for 22 yrs I had love and should be grateful for that at least. I am hurt beyond words as well. What we shared for 22 yrs was beautiful. Now knowing waht true love was I feel so empty inside. I have nothing left inside of me. I feel like that lost child inside again. I hate this and hate myself.

are you on AD's? This may be a good time for them.

I am home sick w/a sick son btw.

If it were me, I'd say to talk to doc.

You can change you...you cannot change your H.

I would get results from the pro's here. I'd call the harleys.

I am not an expert, but if it were me, I'd consider plan B time.

It does sound as if contact has been reestablished with ow. That was confirmed, plus he is behaving differently right?

I'd think to myself if he acted and did these same things during affair mode...or not...

Again, go to the pros on this one.

There needs to be a dynamic to change..something needs to...for your WH to change his course.

Gotta go. son is upstairs coughing alot. As for me, I am shivering and feeling like poo.

JP -hope you feel better and your DS -

H asked me to talk to him. So I did - he actually listened -did not point blame at me. I told him I want to be heard and how I was feeling. We did not get everything out yet. But I feel this was a huge thing for him. More has to be dicussed lots more. But it is a start. He does not want a D at all. So we shall see. I will not wait around forever. I know me -when I leave I will never come back to him.

((((realtor*)))))
Its a step in the right direction. Don't settle for less than you deserve.