I will look at some of the roomate websites - that will be a good start.

Take Care!!

Kim

Lemonman,

So good to see you back stirring things up! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> I knew you'd start missing us and be anxious to jump back into the fray! I think you should stop apologizing for seeing things differently. Sometimes a fresh point of view is needed and I think everyone knows that whether they agree with your POV or not, your intentions behind it are good, sincere and should be as welcomed as anyone elses.

If you make a newcomer cry that hasn't been initiated to your style, we'll just say "Oh, that's just Lemonman, pay him no mind!" Maybe instead you can add another line to your sig tag that says "The views stated by Lemonman, either expressed or implied, are not necessarily those of MB and MB does not accept any responsibility for those opinions and ideas, nor guarantee the validity of the information provided therein! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Well, I will take it under advisement...LOL. Truthfully, I still feel like I shouldn't have to write a qualifier, but I still feel ***some*** people will continue to be hindered and frazzled by my "opines", so I do continue to qualify things for "their" sake. I know in the end, it's still my own problem with the qualifying, so I try and not weigh in on threads that I think are completely ridiculous and full of complete and utter delusion.

Seems to be the ticket.

Happy Holidays.

Lem <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Post deleted by mimi1254

Merry Christmas Kim and DS!

Jean -

Thank you!! Merry Christmas to you too!!

Kim

So now I feel just a tad guilty. Opened presents from DS(that of course WH helped him with). Turns out they spent more on me than I did on WH........I know I shouldn't feel guilty, but I do. The only present I wanted from WH was a NC letter.

I did ask DS if he wanted to get anything else for his Dad when were shopping & he declined. I am trying to look at it as WH's guilt coming across in the present buying.

Of course, I did not ask for any $$ from WH for Santa stuff or the tree.

We had a nice Christmas morning, DS is happy with Santa stuff & is ready for WH to pick him up. WH & DS will open their presents to each other at Charlie's.

I didn't sleep well last night thinking about this whole mess. First time it has kept me up in quite some time.

Time to start thinking about New Year's Resolutions!

Kim

DS just left with WH. He was about 30 minutes late, but did get a courtesy call from Sara to let me know he was running late. Apparently he didn't go to their house this morning, went back out to his house-sitting place.

I looked out the window at WH as DS as was getting in the car. I don't know this man anymore. I don't know if I can repsect him again. It makes me cry realizing this. Maybe it is the holiday stuff that is making me sad, I don't know.

Maybe it is the longing for my family back. I know there is great hope for my M, but I'm afraid that my feelings are changing......

He has been working a crappy job for almost 2 years now. Claims that he has "tried" to find a new one with no luck. Sara was right when she told him he was a quitter. Besides the fact that he is a cheating, lying scumbag. Can't make a decision to save his life. Like Jean's WH he has no plan. I generally don't say bad things about my WH, but these things are actually true.

My H was a talented man. I don't know where he went.

Feel a little better now. A small cry and a bit of a vent always helps.

Kim

"He has been working a crappy job for almost 2 years now. Claims that he has "tried" to find a new one with no luck. Sara was right when she told him he was a quitter. Besides the fact that he is a cheating, lying scumbag. Can't make a decision to save his life."

Kim - Why don't you tell us how your really feel? You don't have to hold back on our account. LOL. I had a lot of days where I felt the same way. Problem was, I completely lost my love for WH. Hope that won't happen to you.

I hope I don't lose my Love for him either. I guess it is harder for some more than others to hold onto that. That doesn't mean that we didn't love them in the first place though - I think/hope it just means that we really can't stand the WH and that is all we have been exposed to lately.

IF the H ever shows up again, I hope that love for him resurfaces. I hope that I have protected it away enough and built a castle around it big enough so the WH can't get to it. That's what I have to hold onto.

Merry Christmas Believer! Hope you are having a wonderful day!

Kim

Hope you have a nice Christmas too. I've been cooking and cooking for 2 days now. There is a ton of food, and people keep dropping in. My sons are surfing again this morning. What a wonderful Christmas!!!

My WH has showed no signs of the husband I used to love. For the last three years, he hasn't even peeked out. You are doing well in your Plan B, and that is what will probably save your marriage. So hang in there.

I just have to share something cute & funny!!!

DS wanted to open a present or two last night so I let him open up from WH's Mom & StepDad. One present he opened was a small tube - I didn't really inspect it, but he opened & said it was bubblegum. He took a couple of big bites & started chewing it. After a couple of chews he said the bubblegum was awful & spit it out. I thought nothing of it.

I also got a small tube from them - when I opened this morning, saw that it was lip gloss.

Just now I was cleaning up & putting away things & found his tube. I thought, gee how awful was the gum that he had to spit it out. Upon closer inspection discovered it was bubblegum scented chapstick!!!!!!!! He was chewing chapstick!!! I just laughed & laughed. No wonder it was bad.

I needed that chuckle! I'll have to show him when he gets home!

Kim

((Kim))

I do hope that your castle walls hold firm for your H. That love will be something for him to truly value and cherish one day (hopefully soon).

I do truly hope that your (F)WH will be posting here soon, working his butt off to be worthy of that treasure.

Jean, I hope so too. I wonder how some can go hold on in Plan B for a year.....I want to shake him and say "Make a decision, you spineless WH. Be a Man. Take charge of your life. Be the leader in this family for a change."

My emotions are up and down right now. Am just ready to hit the road - as soon as DS gets back we will be out of town. I don't think I'll be back until Tuesday.

My mom is in CO and my brother's family went to the mountains so it will be a small, informal gathering tonight with my sister's family and our Dad.

Glad to have you and Believer to chat with today!!

Kim

Do you have a plan B time frame in mind? I don't know anything about how this stuff works, but I would bet money that your WH will come back, I hope it is not too late for him. Losing respect is tough. For me, I can get past alot of the wayward silliness and drama, but once my respect starts to wane, it looks pretty dismal. I should have put away my respect in a lock box, instead if my love - that seems pretty unconditional to a point (cause I can delude myself into anything <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />)

Be safe on the road today, our whether here is just dreary an drizzly.

Well, as far as a time is concerned for Plan B I understand the Harleys say to give it a year. Not one year total from D day, but 1 year in Plan B. That's a long time it seems, but I guess in the whole scope of things not too long to really make sure if the M will work out or not. I have to keep reminding myself of that.

If we don't reconcile, that would put Plan B ending in October of next year. I really don't plan on staying here if we don't reconcile. I would like to move home(two hours away) and join the family business(Insurance). Last May I took classes and passed the test to obtain an Insurance license in the state of Georgia.(& this I was doing just after D-Day!!!! talking about not being able to concentrate!!) It took a while for the application to get sent off & approved, but everything was finally completed this past month. I am going to start off the new year doing some part-time work in the evenings from home with that. It will take some time to develop, but I hope to be able to bring in some extra $$.

My Dad is so proud of me for passing the test on my first try!!

So with that in mind, it would really work out better with DS's school schedule to make a transfer over the summer. But that would be jumping the gun some with Plan B time frame......I will try to be patient and continue on with the 1 year.

I guess I more than answered your question...sorry so long!

Kim

Kim,
That is great that you have such a good plan. It sounds like it works no matter what your WH decides, so you are covered either way! That is inspiring to me, time for me to get an unshakeable plan!

Congrats on passing the test on the first try, that must have been a great boost at an otherwise crappy time. I was just thinking of your DS as a teenage boy, and how proud he will be of you.

Jean - Thanks so much for the words of encouragement! I appreciate you & consider so many people on this MB site as my good friend.

Kim

Excellent advice I think. If you agree to refinance, you are just enabling the cake eater.

Hope everyone had a safe and happy Christmas Holiday! Got back in town today -

I got another voicemail today from WH. I had my phone turned off so I didn't know who the call was from before I listened to it. WH said that he went on an interview today for a "regular old day job" and thought it went very well. So, he is trying to quit the JOB where he could have some contact with OW. A positive step.

BUT, also included a word about refi. AGAIN. Lem, what's your phrase?? Some people just don't get it & they don't get that they don't get it??

WH said he didn't want to bother Sara & thought he would just leave me a message.

He thanked me for the stocking I did for him "from Santa". Said that it really meant a lot and he appreciated it very much. I did the stocking thing b/c DS wanted to hang it for him. DS delivered the stocking with presents from him on Christmas Day.

Here are my thoughts - - - WH knows he needs to give me a NC letter. This has been discussed with Charlie and Sara. I am thinking of calling Sara tomorrow & repeating again that I need a NC letter. If WH is not able to produce one, then how exactly does he plan on proceeding to gain my trust in this whole sitch? Put this back on him. I think him switching jobs is one action step. That is good & he was already thinking about it on his own.

I am not saying that I will talk/see WH without a NC letter, I just want to see what his response is & see if he has a PLAN.

Kim