I'm wondering if my husbands explanation is credible. Our marriage has been rocky for a few years. I have caught my H in several big lies, so I'm not very trusting at the moment. He was missing 1 1/2 Viagra pills after coming back from a night out of town for work. When I confronted him he denied sleeping with someone else and said he used them to masturbate. His first explanation included using a porn video, but later changed it to using a Playboy after I asked him to call the video story to verify. I know his initial lie is a big red flag, but I can't prove his infidelity otherwise. He continues to deny sleeping with someone else. I'm just wondering if this is a common practice, or even a somewhat common practice. There is some other history which is not in his favor, that has created a lot of doubt. We've been going to counseling and have made some great strides at rebuilding our marriage. But I'm still struggleing with not knowing if he's telling the truth or not. I know he won't admit doing anything wrong unless I have proof, so I'm wondering if his story is even plausible or am I being taken for a fool. Any thoughts on this would be greatly appreciated.

My xh tried it....along with a few other "pharma" things he got from ow 1 a pharma sales rep...

He used it for sex.

If you believe it's for masturbation...I have a piece of lovely beachfront property in arizone I'd love to sell ya..

He is using it for sex.

Viagra for masterbation?

At $10 a pill, no thank you.

Does your H truly have ED or is he using Viagra for the fringe benefits?

Unfortunately, outside this board, the offical men's credo seems to be: deny, deny, deny.

What is his normal dosage? 1 1/2 pills for one night seems a waste for a single man event.

I can't tell you how much it pisses me off to see the way poor BS's have to suffer through this stage. The whole doubt/hope/denial .... GRRRRR!

What can I advise you? Hmm, just call the Dr. H right now. Save yourself a ton of grief. This board is a great tool...but honestly, if you just call Dr. H. right now, I bet you save yourself 3-6 months worth of heartache.

Hang in there.

His normal dosage is 1 pill. There has been on rare occasions when 1 pill didn't provide the fully desired effect, but still worked. Maybe I'm over reacting here, but I think he took the 1/2 extra pill to make sure he had the desired effect. It wouldn't be as embarrasing to him if he couldn't become erect for his wife, but would be for someone else. Now that things have been going better for us he only takes 1/2 a pill. I could have maybe bought the story if he only took 1 pill, but 1 1/2 seems like overkill for masturbation.

that's more info about your H than I want to know...sorry!

Note: If 1 1/2 pills are missing, that can be interpreted as meaning he could have had 3 separate "encounters", 1/2 pill each.

But Man, he was only gone one night, I believe...

Boo, There is something not adding up and you know it. Take it from me,the Queen of De Nial. Why would he lie about a video versus a magazine? Other than you being able to check up on the video, that is. What other things haas he lied about? My H has trouble being honest with me also.

jls

Possible explanations:

1. Perhaps some were missing before she noticed - and those were used on other nights.

2. There was more than one encounter that night, and he felt he had to "recharge".

Anyone every take that stuff? Headache, stuffy nose are just some of the side effects....and the higher the dosage, the more likely you are to get the side effects.

I agree too, the story doesn't add up. Why a video store when you are out of town? Where was he? Seems if he was in a hotel it would have been a video channel.

Plus you sort of plan to take the little blue pills for the activity in advance.....I guess he was planning on visiting the 4 sisters on thumb street later on?

Hi Boo,

Did you verify that your H was truly out of town for work?

Yes, this does not sound right?

I wouldn't bring this up with him again until counseling.
Only because he will deny anything to you. By the time counseling comes he will think you forgot about it. So it will be a surprised topic.
Write it on your list of things to bring up with the counselor so you don't forget. Then see what he says there.

****pray right before you go to counseling, that God will reveal it there****

Next topic to bring up is your need for honesty from your H.


Lady

ROFLMAO! Never heard that before.

I'm sorry, Boo, not laughing at your problem. I cannot think of a reason viagra would be used for masturbation, unless H had a pre-existing condition.

Please keep your eyes and ears open for signs of OW. It doesn't sound like your H is being truthful.

I have to agree with everyone else...sounds like a good waste of an expensive medication if you believe his story. Especially since he was only out of town for one night and knew that he could have sex with his wife as soon as he arrived home and take the Viagra then. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

My H goes out of town every Mon night for one night. The night before he left I counted his pills. I'm pretty sure there wasn't more than 1 encounter. As for his other lies. I caught him in our car on a side street at night with another women about 2 years ago. He lied about who he was with. He didn't admit the truth until he knew I had talked to the woman who he said he was with. He said he lied because he didn't want to hurt me. The woman he was with doesn't have the best reputation. We've talked about the honesty issue and he still insists he is telling the truth. I just don't think he can admit to me that he slept with someone else. I don't think there is any serious relationships going on, just some outside recreation. Now that we are getting back on track I think this will discontinue. But I'm struggling with trying to rebuild our marriage when I know he isn't being up front.

Boo,

Your H sounds just like mine. A few years ago he was seen by my OD picking up a guy at the gas station, then picking up a woman across the street from there (who happened to be one of the town prostitutes, she has since died in a fire.) Any way the 2 do not have a good rep either. DD came and told me what she saw. When I asked him if he saw someone when he went to the gas station, he said "no".
I asked if he gave anyone a ride somewhere, he said "no."
Then I told him OD had seen him pick these 2 up. Then he admitted he had given them a ride. Why would he lie if he was "just" giving them a ride???

A few months ago he had a ONS, and admitted it. It was with a prostitute.

Do you think your H may have some run ins with prostitutes?

The only reason why I ask that is because prostitutes do hang out with customers in thier cars.

You may have to do some spying....

Is it possible for to go out of town Monday night and spy on him?

Lady

Guilty as charged <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


The only side-effect I've suffered is a headache, and that could have been due to the alcohol too <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />.



LOL, exactly. Viagra and spontaneity don't walk hand in hand <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />. It takes an hour or two to work in my case.

I would like to add prostitutes hang out in hotel rooms also.



This kind of behavior is very disturbing. Are porn videos
and playboys something that is allowed in your marriage?
The reason I ask that is because, in the bible I read, even looking on a woman to lust after her is commiting adultery is his heart. So your H is in a constant state on adultery if he is doing these things. And a person that is involved at looking at such perversions could very well be calling on prostitutes, escort services, OW etc....

I see some big red flags as well.....and I hope you find the answers you need.

Lady

oH,
And btw, if the wife is counting the pills.. then.. well, you know the story... gut instinct ... obviously BIG issues if you are counting the pills.

Sorry, he lied because he didn't want you to know about the other women...not to protect you.