Hello,

Me and the W have been through a ****** of a year. Just finished trial and my W is not happy. Her lawyer got bashed really bad and her entire life with my 3 kids is not looking pretty. I tried so hard to settle fairly but she didn't want to hear it. All she wanted to do was prove wrong doing on my part and convince me to give her everything.

This has been killing me for a year but there is little I can do. She has been spreading vicious lies about me to everyone around her, including my kids.

I will be forced to take her back to family court because she's refusing all visitation now. Yes, we have a decree. Worst yet, my 6-year old daughter is being told horrible lies about me and everyone in my family. I love her so much but can't see her until we go back.

She withheld them last year through the holidays and will probably do the same again. Last Christmas I spent with them was in 2003. I'm heartbroken but determined not to let this get me too far down. This is a nightmare.

Please tell me it will be alright. Even though I know it will. My son has Autism, he is 8, my daughter is 6 and my baby is 18 months. She hardly knows me.

I live 60 miles from everyone because I can't afford to move back to their location. If I get one of the homes, I will be able to move back and have them every other weekend. I've yet to spend an overnight. I just know she won't give them up so easily. How can a mother deny her kids their father like this? A father who has done nothing but love and support them?

She is trying hard to break me but it's not working too well for her. I really wish we could have worked this out. I sure didn't want this but she went full steam ahead. Everything that came out of her lawyers mouth was absolutely untrue and now she has no other weapon but the kids. It's gonna be a long road.

I'd love to hear from anyone in this situation. Next week, I will need to file a motion of contempt over the visitation. Don't want to. But I have to for my kids. I refuse to allow them to grow up without me. They will understand one day I know.

Thanks for listening.

Steve

You have a decree? She is violating it? She is alienating the children against you? This stuff can be proven?

This reads as if you ahve some money because you say "if I get one of the homes".

If you have a decree, why isn't the issue of the HOMES settled?

Sounds like you need an attorney. And a contempt citation.

Cinderella,

We don't have money, just two homes (not the same thing!) We are at the end of our divorce. Family court issues were ironed out last January. The divorce trial for the homes was brought to trial 2 weeks ago.

So while I have a visitation decree, the homes settlement has been lingering. That's why I live so far away.

My lawyer wants me to just go to court without him because she is simply in the wrong. So that's where we're going but it still is painful for my kids.

Steve

Can you address that with request for counseling.....there are probably statutes that might could be put into place to prohibit that. Do some research on something like Parental Alienation Syndrome. There have been cases in news alleging that one parent was alienating children against other parent.

HL...

I'm sorry to see you go through this. I've been in your shoes, having nothing but love for the kids and you get treated like scum as some worthless father.

I was denied my kids and they are just now coming out of the brainwash because love overpowered anything my exww planted in them. Never stop loving them or give up.

The one key factor in what I was dealing with between me and my exww was a generational thing from her childhood. Because of what she went through as a child and growing up with DV , her mother hid and denied her from her father, therefore she displayed the same behavior on me with my kids to the tee. She never told me that but thats what I saw happening. My ordeal has been like reading a script.

The love you sow will always return to you. It's a fact that daughters always go looking for there fathers. For the first time my OD wanted to talk the other day and she begin to tell me about the good childhood memories and we were able to laugh together in almost 4 years. She even told me if she ever had a babyboy she would name it after me.

This was the same child that stood in my face after I caught exww in many affairs and said " I wouldn't want no man like you either". That was so painful.

So the other day I was on cloud 9. So all is not lost, no matter what your W does. Just keep praying.

Song of Soloman 8:7

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it: