"> ">

Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 2 of 4 1 2 3 4
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Thanks confused, I will check it out! Organizing will get me to focus on something else too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Q
Member
Member
Q Offline
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
As a Christian, I think you might like this author, who I've seen in person a half dozen times: Emily Barnes . She's wonderful. Let me know what you think. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Just passing through...
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
I will check it out, thanks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Q
Member
Member
Q Offline
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Be sure to follow my link. There's another Emily Barnes who is not the right one, though I'm sure she's a very nice person. LOL


Just passing through...
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,575
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,575
FF. Take a breath, Hon. No 2x4s here. YOu are doing just fine. Weekends are [email]cr@p[/email] sometimes. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />
THank book is a godsend. TOugh but I am re-reading it againa and agian.

You have mail, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />


BS-58/XH48
D final Dec31/07
Long hard road & at peace now
Unrepentant serial cheater living with DP4 for 4yrs
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Hey FAA! Yes, weekends are very rough indeed. Poor DD is in my room pouting because her dad is still not home. When I called him he acted like a jerk to show off for his buddy. Ugh..called me a b*tch. I think is the first time he has ever done something like that to me. I hung up. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,575
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Oct 2004
Posts: 1,575
Okay where is he? Can I kick some a$$ for you? Men! WS. GRRR!!! Point me at him. It makes me wild when DD is hurt. HOw is DS talking this?


BS-58/XH48
D final Dec31/07
Long hard road & at peace now
Unrepentant serial cheater living with DP4 for 4yrs
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 3,073
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Dec 1969
Posts: 3,073
Quote
Ugh..called me a b*tch. I think is the first time he has ever done something like that to me. I hung up.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> That is totally unacceptable.

(and I don't mean you hanging up)

I would be tempted to pack him a small bag and put it outside where he parks his car.


Money can buy you a fine dog, but only love can make him wag his tail. ~ Kinky Friedman
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
Q
Member
Member
Q Offline
Joined: May 2001
Posts: 3,397
I'm with Susan. Totally unacceptable!


Just passing through...
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
He called and apologized for the name calling. Came home and apologized to DD for not keeping his word. He told me he will be out of here as soon as he finds a place. That is fine with me. I am not angry but hurt very much for DD. I have lived with the let downs for years, she hasn't.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,515
S
Member
Member
S Online: Content
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,515
Hi Faithful !!

I read the title of this thread and I thought about it.

You do everything.

You do the cleaning, and the meals.
Doctors visits? All of them.
Baths - each and every time.
Shopping,
empty trash
Pick up toys.

Were I to list it all, it would fill pages.

Now you worry about a second job.

I see also where you want to simplify, be home more.

My wish is that STBX would get hit for Child support, and alimony. That would be simpler for you.

I don't have a solution for you, but I acknowledge your great sacrifices in trying to keep your family going. I believe God can show you how to make it work.

When you pray, tell him your troubles, and ask him to teach you what to do. Believe you will get help. Watch for it, listen for it, and it will come.

I admire your willingness to do the work. You are not a quitter. I notice your posts don't say "I can't do this," but they ask for help so you CAN do it. That tells me a lot about who, and what you are. It makes me happy for your DD, and your DS - they need a mom like you.

You already know it won't be easy. You are getting ready for it. Believe you'll get help as needed. Count on it. Expect it - then go and work with all your might, and reap the rewards for being a "faithful follower."

God be with you.

SS


I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Quote
You do everything.

You do the cleaning, and the meals.
Doctors visits? All of them.
Baths - each and every time.
Shopping,
empty trash
Pick up toys.
Yes, SS you are correct.
Quote
My wish is that STBX would get hit for Child support, and alimony. That would be simpler for you.

I don't have a solution for you, but I acknowledge your great sacrifices in trying to keep your family going. I believe God can show you how to make it work.
He is obligated to pay 1/2 the mortgage and property taxes. He makes far less than I and in our state he could easily demand support from me. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> He will have little left after paying CS to OW for OC.

Thank you, SS for reminding to give this over to God. He has always provided and I am sure will continue to do so. I am trying so hard to get my ducks in a row before all this happens. I have a budget template I am using and that is what left me discouraged and worried I may need to get a second job. WH already works two jobs.


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621
A
Member
Member
A Offline
Joined: May 2004
Posts: 2,621
"Welll I am not in the mood to be beat up today!"

Then how about a hug? It's all I have today myself.

(((((FF)))))


"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan

"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky

WS: They are who they are.

When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Thanks for the hug, Appy. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> You ok?


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,515
S
Member
Member
S Online: Content
Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,515
Good Morning Faithful !!!

Oh Wait, it's afternoon now, even in your time zone.

Well, anyway, greetings and salutations !

How are you?
Really - How are you really?

SS


I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Quote
How are you?
Really - How are you really?
SS, better today than yesterday. Thanks. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
I found myself nearly begging this selfish "man" to work on our marriage


Here's a plan starter ....

"begging" is no longer allowed AT ALL

under any circumstances

it is detrimental to your self worth and your dignity

plus

it does not work

take an oath

"I will not beg"

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
I told my stbx that he MUST have a plan for where he will live and be out right after Christmas


December 26th?

December 27th?

be VERY specific

"YOU are NOT living here after (date)"

and if he claims has nowhere to stay ... that's fine ... he can make that choice to be unprepared

Last edited by Pepperband; 11/14/05 04:14 PM.
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Member
P Offline
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Quote
He agreed and I WILL put his stuff out on the porch upon the deadline if he does not move. At that point I will change the locks.


Do not tell him of your change-the-locks plan ...

or his stuff out on the porch plan either

no talk

just keep your word

no more discussions ... no reason to discuss feelings of any sort ... just actions

do you see why that is important for you?

Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
F
Member
Member
F Offline
Joined: Jul 2004
Posts: 11,539
Quote
take an oath

"I will not beg"
I have my right hand up " I will not beg"


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Page 2 of 4 1 2 3 4

Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
2 members (Adia, 1 invisible), 852 guests, and 77 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
apefruityouth, litchming, scrushe, Carolina Wilson, Lokire
72,032 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by Vallation - 07/24/25 11:54 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,032
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0