Hurting:

I'm sorry that I haven't been keeping up with you.

But, didn't I hear you say that his A has only lasted 9 months?

If so, the statistics indicate that it typically takes two years for the A to run its course..to fizzle out..Harley says this also...

My H's A lasted two years or more...

I don't think it's time to start thinking in terms of a future without your H....

((Hurting)), I hope you have a good day Sunday. Have you started the new job yet?

Mimi,

I am not trying to think like that , it just with this divorce stuff looming in the air it just feels so final. I know anything can happen and i'm not giving up hope. I just feel so defeated sometimes. It's sure not like I plan on finding anyone anytime soon. I am not the least bit interested in that. I still love my h way to much for that.
I have to get myself and my children grounded and secure before anything like that could ever happen. yes we are going into the 9th month here for this affair... I know its still pretty new in affair world..... But it seems like forever to me.....


Jean,

Well I have to work on sunday from 5 am until 2:30 pm so I will be busy. The other job starts next friday on my day off from the other one. Going to be working both of them for a little while until the new job can give me enough hours to make it financially acceptable to quit. So its gonna be tiring for awhile but I can do it. You know what they say : Idle hands are the devils workshop... So I darn sure won't be idle so no devil can get me ...lol

Hope you all have a nice weekend as well....


Hurting

hurting,

(((((Hugs)))))

Just wanted you to know I have thought about you and am praying for you.

Just wanted you to know that my FWH's A lasted about a year from start to finish. I did not do MB. I did what the Lord told me.

I got on MB after that.

I just know that you need to be calm and have a clear heart. I know that your WS cannot admit he is wrong. This is what is the key to your situation. Do Not accuse. Just be as wonderful as you have been.

It might take until after the D for WS to see the light. Just be your sweet self.

I think if you move it might help. Look at that for the long term. Just my VHO.

Love in Christ,
Miss M


Miss M

ps.

And have we all told you lately that you are totally and absolutely WORTHY?

Love in Christ,
Miss M

MissM,

Thank you for checking on me and for all the prayers. I do so appreciate them...

I have pretty much come to the conclusion it will be after we get divorced that maybe he will see the light. I do know someday he will, it just may take longer than I had anticipated.

I am going to move, I really don't have a choice. I think being in a new house will be good for me as well. It will be something new with no memories good or bad.

Again thank you ....

Hurting

Well tomorrow is WH'S birthday. Yup he will be a 46 year old adolecent.

None of the kids have even mentioned it. I thought maybe they would want ot get him a gift or card but so far nothing. I have decided I am not reminding them, why should I.

It does make me sad that his BD and valentines day are together almost as we always celebrated both together by going to a nice dinner. I am so glad I will be working both days. Then maybe I won't think about it....

Other than that things here are good. I have been doing real good and not stressing so much over this mediation thing. Of course the closer it gets who knows since I have to actually see and speak to him.

Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Hurting

u have mail hurting!

I know it is hard, with ow trying to replace you with kids.

I can't tell you how angry this makes me.

Good will prevail against evil, in the end. Not in your time, but in God's time.

I know your children love you. And I know this time is hard for you.

You have been faithful, and fought the good fight. I suggest you read Sugah's posts, and take her advice.

She has been down that long road.

Not much else to say, just wanted to give you a (((hug))).

Love in Christ,
Miss M

MissM,

I sent you an email as well but my IE acted up so I am not sure if it went or not. Let me know and if it didn't come I will resend it.

I have read all of Shugahs posts and they give me some sliver of hope. Its a very long road either way this goes. A road I have no choice but to follow but at the end of it is a rainbow somewhere. I just have to find it.....

Thanks for checking on me ......

Hurting

[Hurting I tried to send you a rainbow... but I can not get the font color thingy to work...

Sending my very best to you in black and white.. sorry...

carnationcolor:red] [/color] [color:"red"] [/color]

I start the new job on friday. I will be working just 5 hours a day for now on my days off from BK. I am hoping within a month or so th new job will become more full time so I can quit BK. But until then both jobs will be fine.

Today is WH'S BD. I had not even thought of it until this evening when DS wanted to use my phone to call him. He wanted to wish his dad a HB but WH didn't answer. I didn't figure he would because the call came from my phone. I never said anything to the kids about today or even acknowledged the BD in any way. When DS said today is dad's birthday, I said so it is and that was it.


anyhow thats my update for today.....


Hurting

Carnation,

Thanks for the wonderful thoughts. All of you here that have been so supportive have been a beautiful

[color:"purple"]r[/color][color:"red"]a[/color][color:"green"]i[/color][color:"orange"]n[/color][color:"blue"]b[/color][color:"brown"]o[/color][color:"pink"]w[/color] through all of this mess.....

Today is also the day I met my H 25 years ago..... Damn I miss him.....

Hurting

[color:"red"]Happy Valentine's Day[/color] everyone.....

Many prayers are going out to all of you......


Hurting

Hi Hurting, (btw - I don't want to call you that anymore).

So now it's Healinginokla. I hope you don't mind if I change your name. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Things are going well here. My DS16 got charged for an "assault" that he didn't commit, he only observed a fight going on, so he has to go to court to prove he's innocent. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> Car broke down, A-frame broke.
It's gonna take a few weeks to get a new car. And it's gonna be a nice one.

Our marriage is going well, much healing has been done, and triggers are much much less...Thank God!! We are at love, peace and rest in our hearts (most of the time), and it feels so good, after so many months of such pain.

Some days it's hard to come here and hear the raw pain of others because I know how it feels to be so hurt, and sometimes it makes me remember my pain too much, so I have to stay away sometimes. Maybe I will get to the point that the stories of others won't trigger my pain again, and I will be more able to help. I truly have had to let the past go and forgive to heal. I know my H is faithful at this time, and he better stay that way...right!! He said the Lord kicked his butt for all of it! And so did I <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

I'm glad you have found another job to compensate for the other, that is good, and I'm sure it makes you feel good to be a working woman.

I don't know what to say for your WH, sounds like he's still being stubborn, so just continue to pray and hope he wakes up. Only God knows what it's gonna take, and He can take care of that! Just commit him into Gods hands daily.
And....It's a fearful thing to fall into the hand of the Almighty God! I have to say I have seen quite a few prodigals come back to the Lord in the past few months, and boy it was miserable for them away. They come back all messed up, but God is touching them, healing them...etc...God loves them, just as he does your husband.
Hope he comes home soon!



Blessings,
Lady

Happy Valentine's Day Oklahoma !
I think of you often and continue to hold you in prayers-
Hoping your WH will get himself out of the "fog", and get
over his own stubborn pride.

Things here are going along... WH doing pretty well in his
weekly therapy, and adjusting to another new medication.
It's not too exciting around our house, as he often gets
very tired right after dinner and can't make it though a
movie or show without dozing off, plus starts to get grumpy,
but hopefully that will improve as he gets more adjusted.

I would like things to move more quickly but know I have to
let things go at their own pace (and am always reminded of
this by my IC), so try to just take some extra deep breaths
and pray for an extra dose of patience each day !

I think you've been, and continue to do a great job !
Slammed

lady,

I am so happy to hear from you and so happy things are going so well for you. You deserve it so much. I will continue praying for your family.

Slammed,

I can only imagine how slow it is for you but your on the right track. Things will get better. Patience my friend is what you need to remember.

As far as me I still feel like I am in a limbo. Its not as bad as it was but still here.

I went and got my MIL some flowers and a angel today for Valentines. She was so happy about it and cried. WH sent her a very expensive gift, she was not that impressed because she feels he did it out of guilt and for sucking up purposes. Maybe so who knows. She did say she spoke to him and he was telling her again how happy he was. She told him she does not believe it and how hurt everyone is. He told her I know you want me to get back with BS but it would never work now to much has happened. He has just given up on it ever working. Maybe he really is happy, I don't know. She did say though BS he is not the same man, I don't know this person. She asked him why he would not try and he told her don't go there mom. I am not sure what he means by that but then again maybe he doesn't know himself... Oh yeah he also said he never meant to hurt anyone. His mom told him well you have hurt a lot of people including your son who needs you. His only response was I never meant to hurt anyone. I still don't think he realizes he hurt anyone...... He really believes he has hurt no one....

So he is still very adament he is never coming back and it just won't work, it could never be the same again. What he does not get is it could be better if he would only try. Maybe I am the one in the fog now and am just to blind to see the truth. Well one thing for sure one of us will someday come from the fog. I sure hope its me......


Hurting

Just when life looks like its going better, something else knocks me for a loop.

This morning before work I was checking my bank account online and to my shock $260.00 was gone.... It had been taken out on the 13 at the ATM..... I freaked out seeing how I had written my check for the bills.

So off to work I go and have to leave at 8 am to get to the bank. Well lucky for me the bank has cameras at the ATM and we found out who took my money.

I had to go to the main bank and look at the picture and I almost had a heart attack. There stands my DD taking the money from the machine. She had gotten in my purse and took the card. She had been with me a few times and had seen me put in the pin number.

I called her and at first she denied it, then I told her well I have proof seeing how i am sitting in the bank looking at the picture. She then came clean. Anyhow I called my SIL and told her what happen and that the banl told me the only way I can get my money back was to press charges. So my SIL called WH to tell him what was happening and next thing I knew he called me and said BS you need to file the charges on her. She has to learn and be taught a lesson. He then said I have a bone to pick with you, I said what would that be he said how did she get your card and pin number? I explained it to him and he said well ok then if she took it out of your purse she needs to pay.

So anyhow as hard as it was I pressed charges against my own DD. Lucky for her it was under 500.00 so its a misdamenor. She is being charged with two counts, larceny for taking the card and obtaining money by false pretences. WH called me back to find out what I decided I told him I did it and he said I will back you up on this. I told him thank you. We then talked about DD and this boyfriend she has who is leading her down the wrong road. WH said I have talked to her but she won't listen , I told him I have to.

He said he has spoken to her about a job but she avoids the subject with him. He asked her does she expect us to support her forever, she said no. I told him look i am having enough trouble staying alfloat and I don't need this from her. I said I am going to be working two jobs now to make ends meet and I am tired of being walked on by everyone and it stops here and now. He got very quiet and didn't say anything else.

I said not only that now i may have my checks bouncing because of this mess. Once i get the police report tomorrow or friday the bank will give me my money back. WH didn't offer to help me out thats for sure.

I was very business like and non emotional when I talked to him and it was only about DD and this money thing.

I know I did the right thing because I fear if I don't follow through with this she will continue to doing this kind of stuff and get even in worse trouble.

When is all this crap going to stop? It's like when WH left the whole world went stupid or something. Its been one bad thing after the other.... I know with the kids a lot of it is acting behaviors due to all of the stress and disruptions in life. Bu DD knows how hard its been, she had been living it with me and this is what she does to me....

I know planb was broken but I really feel this was something we needed to discuss because even though he is a WS he is still her father.

I am not sure yet what all will happen, the police detectives will be talking to her in a few days. Until then I am staying calm and not discussing it with her. I am afraid I would just lose my mind and say or do something I will regret.

So this is my life...... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Oh Hurting <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> Good grief, I wish you could get a little break from all this crap. I am so sorry.

I AGREE!

Plus, your WH sounds LESS FOGGY...

"EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING"

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

((((hurting))))
You did the right thing.