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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 96
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 96 |
For those of you that have been following my post I made the mistake of letting her draw me into LB. I'm still not sure what to do next it seems that If I try to strengthen the marriage, I'm controlling and desperate & if I simply give her space, I'm cold and uncaring. She has not put one bit of effort into working on the M because of her lack of feelings & even says that the changes I'm making are just pissing her off. " why is it so easy to do them now when you couldn't do them before" Than in the next breath she says she knows that I'm trying. She wont let me work on her EN at all we are really just being civil with each other.
Confused & wondering if I'm just beating a dead horse?
Cliff
Last edited by cnamzat; 01/03/06 09:07 AM.
BS (me) 43
WS (her) 41
Discovered A 10/19
NC established 10/25
withdrawal ended 11/18 (the worst of it anyway)
refuses counseling
previous user name tazcliff
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
U r not a dead horse but you c/b an exhausted one if you keep riding that roller coaster. Now u have seen her mood swings right? Decide whether u want to continue t/b on that ride.
L.
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 810
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Joined: Oct 2005
Posts: 810 |
Cliff,
A suggestion. Go find the one and only post my H (Mr Cookie) made under "Just found out". He got some really good, detialed responses that may help you get back on course and stay there. Good luck.
--SC
"I require more from my spouse than behaving well in order to avoid pain." (guess who)
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 96
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 96 |
SC I will look, was his user name MR Cookie? did u read my replies in the other thread? how long do I let her continue to be on the fence? I know its different in every situation I just want to know as a general rule. I'm not looking for a major break through just a committed turn in one direction or the other.
Cliff
BS (me) 43
WS (her) 41
Discovered A 10/19
NC established 10/25
withdrawal ended 11/18 (the worst of it anyway)
refuses counseling
previous user name tazcliff
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 96
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Member
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 96 |
Orchid what do u suggest for a plan of action, I'm trying very hard not to ride that roller coaster & didn't really get sucked into it that bad until this weekend.
Cliff
BS (me) 43
WS (her) 41
Discovered A 10/19
NC established 10/25
withdrawal ended 11/18 (the worst of it anyway)
refuses counseling
previous user name tazcliff
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