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Pep,
there is a serenity clinic? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> .... why yessssssss it is prayer and bubble baths ... and maybe a pedicure too <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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"Never say never" or think "it couldn't happen to you". I KNOW! I KNOW YUK!! Have to keep taking that temperature.... 51..too much fun to be had....to have to worry about this crap..YUK!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I don't know, for example, if it would be an obstacle to the MB program as would alcoholism and drug addiction because it is not mind altering. Actually porn addiction affects dopamine in the brain. Dopamine is responsible for the pleasure center in the brain and it creates a chemical change similar to the changes that take place with cocaine. So you could say that porn addiction does cause a mind altering experience. Have you even known people who have to smoke after sex? Dopamine is released during sexual experiences. Some people cannot tolerate the dopamine release because it can increase anxiety. For schizophrenics dopamine will increase psychotic events. Nicotine lowers the dopamine thresholds and reduces the anxiety. So is sex addictive, for some people it can be. But I still think it is entirely different from being drunk or high. I have never heard of someone getting a ticket for porn induced driving. It might change someone's brain chemistry, but not to the point where they are physically impaired and falling down drunk. And I am not aware that looking at porn dimishes the left the brain functions [the portion of the brain that effects rational thought] to the point that the brain is anesthesized. The left brain of an alcoholic is anethesized for almost a year after they quit drinking. Nicotine is also a drug, but folks can differentiate between the effects of a cigarette and that of 15 gin and tonics. At least I hope they can. God only knows, though.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Nicotine is also a drug, but folks can differentiate between the effects of a cigarette and that of 15 gin and tonics funny one Mel Today, our 19 year old went to my H's AA meeting and he gave his dad a cake ..... 10 years now. Funny how H's sobriety date coincides with our D-day .... heehee <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
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Tell him I said Congrats!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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haven't chocolate and video games caused the same effects on the brain (dopamine)? Yes.... they are "addicting" too. not the same as alcohol and drugs though eh? Seems like.... it's even been proven, over and over, here on these boards that porn and SA have been more successfully negotiatied than alcohol/drug-addicted spouses. (hmmmm.... I need some chocolate <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />)
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Nicotine is metabolized into a precursor to dopamine. Tobacco is considered by most experts to be more addictive than alcohol and cocaine. In AA they say, "One day at a time" wrt to alcohol and, "One minute at a time" wrt nicotine.
I discovered something interesting in recent research into addictive behaviors. Eating disorders (ED) are generally considered more additive than any other substance addiction, bar none. Binging and purging, food addictions, anorexia, bulimia and the like are almost impossible to control for long. After all, how does one get away from food?
ED behaviors are insidious and include the same behaviors as alcohol and drug addiction: extremely controlling behaviors, wild extremes of moodiness, periods of irrationality, denial, lying, extreme selfishness and a sense of entitlement extending to all areas of personality. And, yes, even a strong penchant for affairs among bulimics.
“ED sufferers frequently experience depression, anxiety, guilt, loneliness, and at times overwhelming emptiness, meaninglessness, hopelessness, and despair. The ED tries to please everyone and withdraws when this is not possible. May try to take care of others when s/he is the person who needs care. May present self as needy and dependent or conversely as fiercely independent and rejecting of all attempts to help. Anorexics tend to avoid sexual activity. Bulimics often engage in casual or even promiscuous sex.
Relationships tend to be either superficial or dependent. The ED craves true intimacy but at the same time is terrified of it. In all areas of their life, anorexics tend to be rigidly controlling while bulimics have problems with lack of impulse control that can lead to rash and regrettable decisions about sex, money, stealing, commitments, careers, and all forms of social risk taking. “
With prayers,
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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Pep, tell H HB from me too. I recently attended a brother's 20'th. I was darn proud and so was he.
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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Addictions of any kind (pot,drinking, overspending, gambling, overeating, porn, ect) have to be dealt before you can start using the MB principals because Plan A does not work with addicts. Nothing would make an addict happier, less likely to change their behaviour that to be Plan A`d. As for the way addictions affect brain chemistry...or how does one define a "harmful" addiction I think the way to define an addiction is to ask yourself "Are my spouses habits causing a problem FOR ME??? Is my spouse unwilling/unable to stop even though they know it is causing a problem FOR ME/FOR THE M?" If you can answer yes to this then there is a serious problem that has to be fixed before doing the MB program.
As for the Harley`s stating that if either one of them had an A the M would be over...that does make sense to me. No BS is ever morally/ethically obliged to stay withing an M and go through recovery if they choose not to. An A is the ultimate dealbreaker and if a BS chooses an immediate divorce then so be it. Every BS has the right to make that choice and I think the Harley`s position on this backs up the BS right to that choice. Just as no one can predict who will cheat and who won`t, no one can predict who will choose to stay within the M and recover and who won`t.
BS 42
WS 39
WH ONS 04/97 and EA ???-08/00
D-day for both 08/00
-Life is 10% what you make it...90% how you take it-
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anorexics tend to be rigidly controlling In my 20s, I 'flirted' with anexoria ... I was into ballet at the time ... and my weight became a badge of honor for me with every pound I lost ... got down to 90 ... and one day I severely injured my knee dancing, I was dancing with a partner, and he missed me during a lift, and I landed on my knee. best thing that ever happened to me .... While I was laid up, I started to eat and I started to feel better in all ways it is possible to feel better ... and it was like a light was switched on in my head that read in neon [color:"red"] what the hey are you doing to your body???[/color] I have never regreted my decision to stop starving myself .... coz life is a feast and I intend to enjoy my life ... food included!!! I always thought that knee injury was a wack-wack-wack from God. Must stay alert for next God-wacking that comes my way <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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Nicotine is metabolized into a precursor to dopamine. Tobacco is considered by most experts to be more addictive than alcohol and cocaine. In AA they say, "One day at a time" wrt to alcohol and, "One minute at a time" wrt nicotine. Oh, I agree that nicotine that is a very powerful addictive drug, but it is not mind altering in the same way that alcohol and heroin is. Alcohol and heroin are powerful mind altering narcotics that impair ones' mental and physical functions. Cigarettes do not change one's personality or alter one's brain to the point that they cannot function or think. Cigarettes do not anesthesize the brain and disallow critical thinking processes. I would put cigarettes in the same category as coffee, chocolate, but not in the same category as heroin or alcohol.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"Must stay alert for next God-wacking that comes my way ."
Why do you get off so easy? I seem to get a God-Wacking two or three times a week.
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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Posts: 35,996
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"Why do you get off so easy? I seem to get a God-Wacking two or three times a week."
He must love you more .... snicker
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"I would put cigarettes in the same category as coffee, chocolate, but not in the same category as heroin or alcohol."
I agree in general. Nictoine is a strong pacifier, though. Retreating into a smokey haze can be CA enhancing in the same way hiding in a bottle can be. And can be nearly as bad for your health as alcohol.
Otherwise, I agree.
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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Agree, Aphelion. I have been addicted to both alcohol and cigarettes and to my astonishment, withdrawal from cigarettes was actually tougher. It is a powerful psychological addiction. And so very damaging to health.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"He must love you more .... snicker"
You must be one of my sisters in disguise. They all got away with everything, all the time. They had dad wrapped around each of their dainty little fingers.
Me, I often got whacked just in case I might need it later when he wasn’t around. But then, I now think he had me figured out pretty early on. And I did need it. I must still need it, huh. Don't tell my sisters I admit that though.
With prayers,
"Never forget that your pain means nothing to a WS." ~Mulan
"An ethical man knows it is wrong to cheat on his wife. A moral man will not actually do it." ~ Ducky
WS: They are who they are.
When an eel lunges out
And it bites off your snout
Thats a moray ~DS
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