So it sounds like you are going to talk to the comman to ask them to lay off your WH?? Personally I think it is a mistake. Your husband was talked to and told to stay away from OW. That should be good enough until and unless he breaks this and contacts her.

You going to visit his command is not going to save your marriage and it might ruin your WH career.

Something to think about.

This has already gone to a board to "talk" about the issue and with no proof and I feel since they only knew each other a short time I don't belive they got to a PA so no charges will be brought.

Good luck. Frankly, now that I know your reason for going, I think you're making a mistake. It's going to have the opposite effect than what you envision.

Well I do have a couple of days to run this thru my head. I am flying by the seat of my pants so to speak. I will be reading more and see what happens.

I think I am goingto put the military side to this aside because first and for most he is my H and our daughters father. I will keep that in mind. I will continue to work on myself but that is very hard. I have gone from hour to hour. Now I feel I can say day to day. I think I will start another thread on rules of contact because I feel he is just holding in limbo.

I think you're making a good decision, mhwag. Now that you've made it, I'll let you in on something I witnessed a few years before I retired from the USAF.

Major XYZ had been tapped for a six-month deployment to (somewhere classified). He didn't care for this; it was interrupting some personal plans. Three days after the commander told him of the temporary assignment, his wife came to see the commander. She thought it was terrible of the AF to make her husband go to (somewhere) when he was planning on doing something else. She and the commander went round and round for a half-hour. She came out obviously distressed, crying, unhappy, and more than a little mad. The commander came out shaking his head.

The major went on his TDY assignment and eventually returned to finish out his tour of duty at his permanent base, but he'd earned the contempt of every uniformed man and woman there. Whether he'd known about his wife's visit beforehand or not, he was known forever after as the guy whose wife came to complain the Colonel was being mean to her husband. The major never got another promotion and was shuffled from job to job because he was completely ineffective as a leader and manager after that one incident.

mhwag, that's almost what you did to your husband, whether you would have intended that or not. Thank goodness you did not follow through. I'm very happy you've decided to work on your marriage and I hope you'll be able to use the MB principles, including working on yourself, very successfully.

My best wishes to you.

Thank you, Longhorn