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I just don't want him showing up here. I don't want a scene in front of DS. He really is a nonviolent person, but all of these phone calls are beginning to make me think he's losing his mind.
And if something really did happen to OW then he will ALWAYS hold that against me. Even though I KNOW that it is his A that is the problem, not my exposing.
K
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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p.s. if he were concerned at all about the OW, he wouldn't have been seeing her. Agreed in such a big way. But that darn WS FOG doesn't allow him to realize that. Or his own selfish needs and stupid denial that he is actually the source of the problem. but that's why you're in plan B...the craziness, the psychotic behaviors..all the crud from a ws...you DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT. Peachy - I will try to put myself in the mindset to not wonder. I will have to deal with it if he shows up here though......This is very abnormal behavior for him. Thanks to ya both - Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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You mean he would try and blame you for what he knowingly caused?
Can you get up and go to Home Depot and change the locks? It really is supposed to be very easy. Get an electric screw driver and you should be able to pop them right out and right in.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I believe I will change out the locks - it's now a matter of me feeling safe.
Yeah, go figure. WH would blame me. Very easily down. Standard behavior for him.
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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But you know who is really to blame, right?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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YEP! He is.
I just thought of something - described his calling me so much as abnormal for him. I forgot. He's not my H right now, he is the abnormal, alien-like WH.
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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What do you think will happen if he comes over to talk to you? What is your biggest fear about that?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I just think the wacked out ws will blame the ws for anything and everything. if you don't want his drama and since you are plan b'ing it...change the locks kimberly ...
until the man makes decision to exit the mothership, no contact.
he knows the grounds.
he knows how to come home.
you could leave copy of plan b letter taped to front door in an envelope labled "to ws" (of course using his name)...since he may forget the whole what where and why of how to end the affiar and what the ground rules for coming home are.
me:37 BS; s:7;
xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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That I won't be able to think straight. My first instinct would be to run upstairs w/DS and lock the bedroom door.
What I should do though is shove the Plan B letter in his face - and then ask him to leave.
My fear is that he'll come into the house and I won't be able to answer back his accusations properly. Hopefully, it's ingrained in my mind by now though. I know the right responses, I afraid I will get to freaked out to vocalize them.
I also just thought that I might politely ask him to leave or I will call 911.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Peachy -
I thought of the Plan B letter too. I will be giving him another tomorrow(I'm changing intermeidary's). I HOPE my BIL calls me back today & will tell me he will do it.
If I don't hear from him, I might have to resort to e-mail. I thought about my brother, but he really is NOT a good candidate. I think WH's mother is most likely out too.
DS is complaining about his tummy again this morning so I might not get out today. He stopped getting sick at about 2 in the morning....
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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The more time that passes since WH's calls, the more I think that he won't come by.
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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My fear is that he'll come into the house and I won't be able to answer back his accusations properly. Kim, you have nothing to be afraid of. You don't answer to him. He does not have the power to force you to "answer his accusations properly." The only one who owes anyone an "answer" is him; he owes you an explanation about why he is seeing another woman. His days of power are over, you just don't believe it yet. If he comes over, show him to the door and tell him - FIRMLY - that he is not to contact you until he has ended contact with the OW, and frm what you hear, that certainly has not happened.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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You are right. I don't have to "answer" him. He knows the rules. I will stand strong & not let him MANIPULATE me.
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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He has no power over you. That is the truth. That is reality.
"I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me" Philippians 4:13
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Melodylane -
THANK YOU!
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Posts: 2,200
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Now just got a call from WH's other best friend who lives out of state. I have spoken with him a bit off & on since a month after D-Day.
Left a message for me to give him a call -----
I need prep help in thinking through this call before I do it.
I really have no idea what he's going to say to me. He has always been VERY level headed & non-judgemental.
I owe no explanations. He owes me one regarding his continued Affair.
If he was so concerned about OW's safety then he should not pursue her.
HELP.
K
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Help? Call the man, Kim, and see what he wants. You will be fine.
And of course your H is not concerned about OW's safety; neither is she. It is silly to imply otherwise. It is a lie that the OWH is abusive.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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p.s. you have nothing to fear, Kim. He can't hurt you, nor can your H.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I just don't want any more babble coming at me from another friend he has potentially influenced.
I can do this----here it goes.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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You will be fine. Let's remember who the real victims are here and its not the skanky ho OW or your H. You, your son, and the OW's family are the victims.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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