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Tuesday I was told by Charlie that WH & OW met for dinner. That sent me crashing.
It was suggested here that I re-expose & after thinking about it decided that OWH needed to know about this.
Yesterday I e-mailed him to see if he wanted info if I knew of anything(I didn't want to e-mail if he didn't want to know). He responded back that he did-
It took me til this morning to be brave enough to go into my e-mail - waiting for me was an e-mail from OWH. Stating that he was just told some information that I should know about & for me to call him.
Well, if anyone knows me they know that I clam up on the phone with this guy(WH still has me thinking in the back of my mind that he is abusive to OW). So I e-mailed him back - told him back -
"What's going on - I was told the other day that OW & WH met for dinner. I don't have proof so I wanted to be careful in telling you this. It is just something that was shared with me by a friend.
If this is what you wanted to tell me, then there's no need to e-mail me back. I just thought you should know.
I still want my Marriage and I love my H. My love for him is still strong.
I wish you the best with you M and pray that OW will do the right thing."
I really don't want to be pulled back into getting info or knowing about what my H is doing.
I expect I'll get another call from WH sometime soon - I will not listen to his VM, I already know it won't be nice.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Good for you. Things never get better if you ignore them and sit around hoping they'll improve by themselves.
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Thanks - it is still scary to me even after WH has been out of the house for 3 months. For some reason, your mind thinks that the WS is going to distance themselves even more from you for exposing. I kept telling myself to picture OW & WH at dinner together. Can I stand for that? NO!
And OWH deserves to know. Regardless of what type of person he is.
I was shaking as I typed the e-mail to him this morning.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Kim 234: Good for you .....Nice work!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I KNOW that putting your neck out there even once is Scary enough ....and then to have to deal with all that dread and Fear yet again ........I commend you on your Courage to face it and NOT let FEAR freeze you into Inaction. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Unfortunately, if its New information ......your best bet is to keep passing it along. (And hopefully them back to you). And IMO the OWH is Like MOST BS's .......we really DO Want to Know. (As he responded to you when you asked). Not saying that the initial reaction is always going to be pleasant .....as when first told, your going to usually get the "shocked" and defensive Denial response. But Once the truth is OUT There, I'd dare say the vast majority are Happy to at least know the Truth (even as they Hate what that Truth is). Later on, They then get to look back at the months or years and say "Aahaaa, its Really NOT ME (meaning all the problems) and I'm NOT crazy, delusional or just paranoid as my Loving Spouse led me to believe". As tough as this task is: I thank you for giving this man the Gift of the Truth. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Hope he uses it wisely!
Fooling people is serious business, but when you fool yourself it Becomes Fatal.
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Unfortunately,
if its New information ......your best bet is to keep passing it along. (And hopefully them back to you). But if I am in Plan B, shouldn't I remove myself from knowing what WH is up to? Thanks for the encouragement - I will keep it up! As tough as this task is:
I thank you for giving this man the Gift of the Truth.
Hope he uses it wisely! I do too!! Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Well, if anyone knows me they know that I clam up on the phone with this guy(WH still has me thinking in the back of my mind that he is abusive to OW). But Kim, you know that this was all a lie. This is not a rational response to exposing. Nor can your H terrorize you anymore for not keeping his dirty secret, he is not there. It is the AFFAIR that is keeping you apart, remember? Exposure serves to seperate THEM, not you. This is just your friendly neighborhood reality check! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Gotcha!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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WH just called ------- didn't answer. Left a voice mail. Let the fury begin.
Hope he doesn't come by here. I don't think he will.....
Kim
Last edited by kimberly234; 01/13/06 05:49 PM.
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Its a good thing you are in Plan B and don't have to listen to his nonsense, huh? Now, get over there and hit the DELETE button! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I mean it!! DON'T MESS WITH TEXAS!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Joined: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,200
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Oh soooooo Glad I am in Plan B!!!!!!!!!!!
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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BRAVO!! You did good! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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OOPS - Another call from WH. This time on the home line. He disconnected me from the Internet(Yep, I still have dial-up). I don't have caller ID, but did *69.
He sure does want to have a word with me.....
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Your doing so well Kim......
Keep it up .... Time to follow my own advice for sure......
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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I surely don't want to talk to him right now. I already know the babble that would be coming out of his mouth. Heard it all before.
Thanks - Sticking to the only plan I know!
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Posts: 2,200
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The calls are continuing. Called on the home line(woke me up) DS was sick all night so didn't sleep well.
Then he called again the my cell & left a VM.
This is getting a bit freaky.
Either he is terribly furious or something really did happen to OW.
Now I wish that I had changed the locks instead of just using the alarm system to keep him out. I will feel safer right now.
Kim
D-Day May 14th, 2005
Married 16 Years
DS age 8
6 months Plan A
Plan B 10-11-05, H moved back in June 2007, Very False Recovery.
2nd Day-Day 7/7/08 Kicked WH Out.
Plan B for my sanity
"Enjoy the little things, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things." Robert Brault
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Don't sweat it. Why do you fear him so much, Kim?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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p.s. if he were concerned at all about the OW, he wouldn't have been seeing her.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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kim...went to zzz last night and it was too late to call ya as your ds is sick. hope he's better.
btw.
you're wondering about wh b/c you are in plan B..
but that's why you're in plan B...the craziness, the psychotic behaviors..all the crud from a ws...you DON'T HAVE TO DEAL WITH IT.
remember it..
you do NOT have to deal wtih it.
you're just curious b/c you're not dealing with him ok?
me:37 BS; s:7;
xh:38; OW:26;eloped w/OW 1 wk after D: 12/29/03. OC born 3/17/04. Happy! Blessed to be the mother of a wonderful son..great profession..Life's good!
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