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Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 9
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 9 |
I just found out that my wife is not in love with me.
Background: She was in love with someone else before we met. The other person we will call "L" pushed her away because of an age difference and other issues.
My wife says she figured that if she got married and did everything she was supposed to that everything would be all right.
20 years later my wife contacts the other person to see why she was pushed away since she was still in love with "L". "L" said they were still in love with my wife. Now they are in full contact with each other and have spent time together while I was deployed.
We have 3 children and neither one of us wants to ruin thier life. She says she loves me but she is not "in love" with me. She says that being intimate with me now makes her feel like she is betraying "L".
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Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069
Member
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Member
Joined: Sep 2003
Posts: 27,069 |
Welcome to marriagebuilders. Well, you are not alone. There are lots of folks here going through the same thing. You might want to post on general questions as there is more traffic on the weekend.
Your wife will get her feelings back for you IF she has no contact with the other man.
Your job is to read all about Plan A, and start implementing it. It is basically to show her what a wonderful husband you can be, avoid angry outburst, and disrespectful judgments. It also includes exposing the affair to friends or family who could help your marriage.
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