Her WH is about to come home. One of his needs is for her to cook everynight. Last night she told him she would be making dinner, and put quite a lot of effort into it.

He came by late, and announced that he wasn't hungry. Had eaten with a friend.

I can't help her because this is the way my WH constantly behaved. I ended up very resentful and unpleasant toward him.

That behavior looks like a WS who is specifically (whether it is a conscious intention or not) making it difficult for the BS to demonstrate that he/she can meet the WS's ENs.

It's a part of the selfish psychology that goes along with an A. (IMHO)

The best I can do is suggest that Shattered do her best to not take it personally. Consider the WS to be sick... mentally ill, and without the mental capacity to comprehend the impact of his/her actions on the BS.

It's part of Plan A.

I would strongly suggest reading "Choosing Forgiveness" by John & Paula Sandford (especially for Christians). A BS can choose to forgive the WS whether or not the WS wants to be forgiven, and this DOES NOT mean "absolve from responsibility and/or consequences." Letting it go releases the BS from the need to carry the hurt around, and that makes doing a Plan A SOOOOOOO much easier.

Practically, she could enjoy the dinner and tell him that he missed a really good meal, too bad... maybe next time.