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If you are out there let me know. I need your help!
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Bkarl, Melody has had a family emergency and is dealing with it in her hometown. I don't know if she'll be on line or not for a few days.
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BKarl,
Can we help?
What's up?
Love in Christ,
Miss M
me: FBS
H: FWS
Fully recovered
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Hi Miss M,
I just don't know anymore. It is really just a few things. Don't know what to make of it or if I am making something of nothing.
My wife had a secret affair email account. It is still active and I wanted it closed about a month ago. She said, uh sure. Didn't close it. Brought it up about 2 weeks ago. Asked for the password so I could close it. She tells me how long are you going to punish me for my affairs.
Tried to explain it was for me to feel safe not punishment.
Account is still active.
Now I find an old boyfiends email address in her other account. That I have the password to. Classmates.com wouldn't you know.
I just don't know what to do!
I guess I just never really felt safe here!
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Joined: Dec 2002
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BKarl,
Just step back from this for now and do not react.
Sit tight and you will get some good opinions.
Your W doesn't understand that things have changed for the long term. There is still some work to be done.
It took my H 2 months to figure out what NO CONTACT meant.
And ow another 4 months. LOL.
I hope you are in recovery, as I do not know your story. I do think your W needs to make you feel safe, and this is what you need. No more secrets.
Love in Christ.
Miss M
me: FBS
H: FWS
Fully recovered
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BKarl,
I wish I knew what to say to help you as you have helped me with your kind words.
I am so sorry your going through this. I hope your W comes to understand what you need to feel safe.
I agree with Miss M sit tight and wait for the pro's to come along... I know it will be hard but please try and stay calm until then.
My prayers are with you.....
Hurting
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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I don't want to jeopardize my marriage but I will not be deceived again.
I will not act yet though. That much I have learned.
I just keep thinking of the Lemmon Mans sig! Will she ever get it!
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Thanks!
I have a few more hurdles to overcome and I think we will make it.
I just don't have the strength left to do this alone anymore!
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BKarl,
You know with God anything is possible.
Your not alone either he is by your side always. That seems to be something we all forget sometimes. Lean on God and he will help you.
You will make it over the hurdles I have faith in that.... Stay strong and focused.
God Bless you ....
Hurting
BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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bump^
Yeah, she just doesn't get it yet. Step away from the alien. LOL.
You have to just laugh and keep your sense of humor sometimes.
Blessings, BKarl, and goodnight!! Sweet dreams for you.
Love in Christ,
Miss M
me: FBS
H: FWS
Fully recovered
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I know He is there Hurting. I lost Him for so long when I thought He had foresaken me. It was just me that had foresaken Him.
I just have to believe this path was put in my travels for some reason.
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Joined: Jul 2005
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BS (Me)- 47 WH - 46
Married- 24 yrs
3 children 15,19,22
2 grandsons
D-Day- June17, 2005 while I was 1400 miles away
WH living with OW since July 05
WH filed divorce papers Dec. 22, 05
Divorced granted June 28, 06
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Posts: 258
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You know, my first introduction to adultery happened the day my daughter was born. I called my best friends mom that day. She was like a mother to me. I loved that woman dearly! She made me feel so loved. She took her own life that morning. I couldn't even celebrate my own daughters birth that day. I still cry at that loss. The loss of such a giving woman. I still pray she is in a special place.
I wouldn't wish this on the worst of mankind!
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BK
I haven't posted to you before, but you may want to consider installing a key logger on your computer. I used one called "Big Brother." It copies all keystrokes made, e-mails, etc., including passwords. It is invisible unless you know how to access it, which only you will know. At least you could put your mind at ease over knowing just what is what right now. Take care,
Shellybid
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MissM is one of the Pros.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> Have you identified your personal boundaries yet? In counseling w/Jennifer from MB or under guidance with a good MC? Ready to implement your boundaries? Where is your immediate support group? Let's squish this A! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> L.
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I don't want to jeopardize my marriage but I will not be deceived again.
I will not act yet though. That much I have learned.
I just keep thinking of the Lemmon Mans sig! Will she ever get it! Agree with the others, don't do anything until you have evidence of wrongdoing. Go put some spyware on her computer. When you rule it in or out, then you will have to decide which course of action to take. Even if she is not involved with men, you will have to address the serious issue of affair proofing your marriage. She is not protecting you by keeping secret email accounts. But don't accuse or ask without evidence, just get to snooping!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thanks all,
I have found a data logger that is undetectable by virus scanners. You do pay for the good ones though.
What's another couple of months right!
Anyone know of a dynomite MC in Colo?
On a side note. How the heck do you get rid of woodpeckers. The little bastar** are tearing up the side of my house. How the heck am I ever going to finish this and sell it. 3 of them have been KIA but there seems to be an army of them. One goes down and another takes its place. Kinda like those jihad backpackers.
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BKarl,
You have woodpeckers tearing up the side of your house because you have insects in the side of your house, and they are eating them. Just a food source for the birds.
I would be getting an exterminator out to your house to see if you have termites or something. Woodpeckers don't eat wood, they eat bugs.
You might have a problem.
Hope you feel better today. keep up the good work.
Love in Christ,
Miss M
me: FBS
H: FWS
Fully recovered
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No, they are building nests right inside the siding. Using the damn insulation and making a little cave.
This is brand new siding I put up about 4 months ago.
If I cover the holes(2 of them) they start to bore through the wood I put up.
Die woodpeckers, die!!!!!
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I am doing good. God walks with me and I know it.
It is not as bad as I may make it seem. We are in a good recovery but this wife of mine will come to know boundaries.
I need to find a good MC.
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