Well, her and I actually did fool around a little many years ago, before either of us was married. No sex, but other stuff. Just a few times. So the thought of that when her and I would be on a business trip did ocasionaly enter my head, but I never worried she would make a move because she was married and so was I. Even if she did, I knew I would refuse because of my marriage. Now that I'm almost divorced and I know this new information about her, you might be right about her having me next in line. Fortunately, we don't have any trips coming up anytime soon and, besides, I would NEVER touch a married woman, no matter what my marital state was.

As far as respecting me goes, the nickname was all in fun. We've always teased each other and I sensed no mocking in her calling me that the few times that she did. Now that I know this new information about her, though, I'm going to back off on the teasing and anything that could be misinterpreted as flirting. I always thought she respected her marriage, but now I know differently.

Slight update,

The woman in the fling, my friend, has been out all week and I haven't seen her since finding out. She's supposed to be in a little late today. I'm not sure how I'll look at her. I'll update later if anything happens. I'm also going to talk to the co-worker who told me about her affair and let her know I'm having a hard time not telling the BH. I'll leave it open at that and see how she responds then go from there. I'll post any interesting results. Thanks for listening and the suggestions, everybody.

New Man,
I have a different view than others.

My view is
1) All the information you have been given is here say.
2) You have not witnessed any acts of betrayal yourself.
3) Repeating gossip in the workplace is a bad idea.

If I were in your shoes, I would not repeat anything that was told, but instead observe the supposed adulterer.

Something else you mentioned struck me as odd; you said that this friend/co-worker has a large sexual past including porn and other activities.
If you know of her sexual appetite, what makes you think that her husband doesn't also know this.

JMOA, I would wait and see, before alarming the co-worker's husband unneccessarily, the consequences could be life changing. If you hear this information first hand, by all means notify the co-workers husband.

I agree completely. One of the problems with this website, IMO, is that because of the posters here and their own situations, they are all too willing to believe someone is having an affair based on very flimsy evidence.

The information you have received IS hearsay. You have seen nothing. The two people in the supposed affair have not told you anything. The evidence you present is far from conclusive. Very far.

And yet posters are all too willing to say "Expose", potentially wrecking lives. Truthfully, it makes me a little sick.

Get some real facts, or mind your own business.

Kdsheartbreak and Penaltykill, thank you for putting into words a lot better than I did, why I have reservations about saying anything. The information I have is hearsay, but I believe it to be pretty reliable. I have thought, though, what if it's wrong? My main reservation all along has been about hurting a marriage that may not ever be hurt without my interference. The other side of that coin is, I could save some hurt down the road for the BH if the information is true. Hence my delima. Thank you both for another viewpoint.

Newman615, I'm glad you are re-thinking your dilemma. There is a reason that hearsay evidence is inadmissable in court.

I'm sorry that I was so heavy-handed ("MYOB") but I truly believe that some posters own affair situations have predisosed them to believing that everything is an affair. This is not the first time I have seen a poster come on the site with some far from conclusive evidence and posters chime in with "oh yes, your spouse/friend/etc is definitely having an affair - expose, blah blah". Your source may well be correct, but without hard evidence, I, for one, would just sit back and let events unfold without agonizing over if you are doing the right thing. You haven't been given enough information to decide if it IS the right thing, IMO.

Take care.

Brief update,

The two of them (my co-workers) went to "lunch" together again today. I'm tempted to call the man's fiance anonymously and tell her to go home (they live together, close by), but, as the recent posters have pointed out, I don't know for sure if anything is really going on. Even if there was something, they could still just be going to lunch (no quotations). We'll see how they are acting when they get back.

Oh man. It's like watching a train wreck in slow motion.

You know how it's gonna end and it ain't gonna be pretty.

Dude,

""Well, her and I actually did fool around a little many years ago, before either of us was married. No sex, but other stuff. Just a few times.""

What the HECK are you trying to feed us???

If you two are such good buddies with such a "history" between you, go ask her if the rumors are true!

k

I'm not sure what you're getting at there, krusht.

"What the HECK are you trying to feed us???"

What do you mean by that? To clarify for you, her and I, about 10 years ago, when we were just out of college, made out a couple of times. Long before either of us was married or worked together. Is that such a crime? Not to diminish your suggestion of asking her about the rumors, but I don't get what you're insinuating in the way you've asked.