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one moment please .... I am SURE your wife loves you deeply, 2long.....But she is human, she cared for this other fellow, and it isn't all that much different than an x spouse having a conversation with a former spouse. JMHO.....If you could somehow accept that she ONLY wanted to know how he is doing with his life, then both of you can keep moving on with a great marriage until death do you part. ah-ah-ah-------cheeeeeeeeeeewbullpucky pass a tissue I'm snot kidding
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friend~~~
Have sis call RM and ask to speak to his "wife" or fiance ~~~~ use her first name
then you get on the phone and ask her if she is aware another woman is still obsessively calling her "husband" ... or whatever he is to her
EXPOSE my friend
EXPOSE
your dear wife should never object to exposure of a simple friendship
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here's my question..
have you been asking your wife prior to this slight confession of contact... and has she answered no before... leading you on to believe that it was the truth.. and is now just filling you in the real truth...
ARK
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Mary,
The problem with continued tries of contact is that it keeps this fantasy alive in her mind, and she cannot reconnect to her marriage.
Ghost man gets her love(in her mind) and 2long gets her friendship (crumbs).
She is not letting go it seems, so she cannot begin the process of rebuilding her marriage.
She is holding onto this phantam to avoid connecting to 2long. This RM/ghost man is a way to avoid true intimacy with her husband...whether she sees it that way or not.
And I believe that is why 2long has said he will not settle for any contact whatsoever, period, nohow, noway!
I am totally against contact with a former PA/EA whether we be weakly humans or not...and it is not just an MB priniciple it is just plain old fashion common sense.
For me it took a long time to come to this hard-nosed realization but I am so effing sick of seeing people hurt I just can't stomach it any more.
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Weaver grows up
right in front of us
how KEWL is that?
I'm stoked (old 70's surfer term)
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My friend,
Gotta agree with Pep on this.....
Time for a phone call to RM's new W...
And I'm so darn sorry your W can't see the gem she has in you!!!!
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Hi, Mary -
"and the desire to just know about the OM and his life (and the hope that we really were SPECIAL to them and that they miss us)"
I appreciate your input - I am a FWW. However, this belief you describe is the "fog" that is mentioned so often. It is having EN's filled by someone other than the spouse, and is a continuation of the A. Finding out OP thinks the A partner is special and misses her, fills a need. It hurts the BS very deeply and is very counterproductive to recovering the M.
God bless, Rose
FWS-me
BS-H
Dday-8/2002
Recovering, still!
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2Long, So sorry for this. It seems so frustrating. Any advice I could give would be about as useful as a loadstone.
But I agree with Pep also. And Trix and Weaver .... and ... I plan on tipping a few pints (or 6 or 8) watching the Steelers and give you a silent toast.
.
I walk the recovery path too, ... but I walk alone.
HOW 'BOUT THEM STEELERS!
.
I've finally realized now, that you just have to keep breathing. Tomorrow the sun will rise, and who knows what the tide will bring. Tom Hanks (Castaway, 2000)
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[color:"purple"] loadstone [/color]
what's this?
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2long - didn't we duscuss this tactic some time ago? Like after you reported when RM got married? WAT
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2B : Pepperband - I'm sorry, but your post was just plain rude. don't be sorry I agree and HER post was insensitive and cruel towards 2long so I (rudely) bit her !
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2long - I can't tell from your posts how long it has been since the A has been over or how many times your W made contact. I know it hurts deeply as I hurt my H deeply when I made continued contact with the FOM several times after the EA ended. 2B ~~~ how does a 12-year-long affair strike you?
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2BNormal, 2long's wife had a 12 year A with this man. He divorced and remarried during this time. Rat Meat doesn't even come close to describing him.
She is not some newly foggy WS just out of an A. She continues to show 2long total disrespect and lack of any concern for him by continuing to think she can be "friends" with this guy.
Last edited by KiwiJ.; 02/05/06 01:29 PM.
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Peppo, you know what foggy WSs sound like.
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There are kinder ways to respond as other have done. I could not agree more .... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
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Peppo, you know what foggy WSs sound like. Sure I do... now you know what Pep sounds like when she feels defensive of her good buddy 2Long He's my friend ... and I am not MBing right now ... and I could care less <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> I am not perfect ... as you can plainly see <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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