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Hey all,<P>I'm posting this so I won't email my OW. Right now, the urge to send her a little "Hi" is so strong, that I'm gasping for breath. It's taking every ounce of willpower not to contact her...<P>Last week my wife and I went to the movies together and while we were driving home, we went by a pub that my OW likes to go to. She's told me about it on many occasions, and invited me to go to it a few times. I never went, and didn't even know exactly where it was. When I saw it, it surprised me. And it felt like a 2x4 to the head. The withdrawal smacked me real hard. Since then, the withdrawal seems to be particularly acute... ack.<P>Well, I had to post. I feel a little better now. Not gasping for breath anymore. whew...<P>--airheart<p>[This message has been edited by airheart (edited August 16, 1999).]
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Hang in there airheart and don't contact her. You would devastate your W all over again. <P>Breathe and keep coming back here to us instead!<P>------------------<BR>Joan
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hum de dum....whistle whistle...count to ten...trip to the water cooler...chit chat with the guy in the next office...<BR>My H and i are in plan B, and he just im'd me by accident, then signed off. im dying to talk to him. i feel your pain....
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Don't do it! You'll get sucked into it all again and is it worth all of the hell you've all been through? Just think of some of OW negative qualities and what just irritates the heck out of you. Then think of all of your wifes best qualities. Maybe that will help.<P><BR>Jill
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Airheart- <P>Don't do it!!!!!<P>Think of all the pain it would cause both of them and how far back it would set you. It is not worth it!<P>Thanks for posting to both of my posts - well the one form my H and mine. <P>
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airheart, way to go. You were tempted and held off. Have you thought about calling your wife instead of contact with the OW. You sound as though you are doing better than you realize. Keep remembering your wife loves you enough to keep trying, give her and yourself a chance! You did awesome.
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Just remember how far you've come! <P>If you can't fight the urge to call her for yourself fight the urge to call her for her sake!
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Hey, wow! thanks for all the replies... I didn't expect to get many. That little withdrawal episode has subsided and I feel under control again.<P>I realize the pain it would cause my wife. And I realize the terrible feeling I would have after. That helps quell the urges a little... but only a little.<P>Holly - thanks for the advice about not contacting her for her sake!! You are very right about that!<P>anyway, thanks again for all your replies!<BR>--airheart
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airheart:<P>I've always considered myself so weak for wanting to contact the OP...knowing he doesn't want to continue the relationship, and neither do I, for I want my marriage. <P>I have had contact, let me tell you it makes it worse. I've been trying (and succeeding) to fall in love with my H all over again, and any contact with OM makes it doubly difficult. The urge can seem overwhelming at times. I applaud you for not giving in, but I don't reprimand you if you do. We all backtrack a bit. Just remmeber, teh more contact you have, the harder it will be. Let God heal you and your marriage. He can do it!<P>My prayers are with you<P>Tracy
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I, too, have learned the hard way that contact is a killer. It actuall makes the pain worse, if you can imagine.<P>The minute of gratification of talking with the OP pales to the days/weeks of pain you will endure just to get over that brief contact.<P>So, buck up Airheart! You're going great! Remember there are a TON of us in the same place ... and been there a million times!<P>Go home and seduce your wife! I'm considering that myself ... altho I don't have a wife .... oh yeah, I've got a husband. (a very willing one at that!!!!) ![[Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]](http://www.marriagebuilders.com/forum/images/icons/smile.gif)
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Maya, you are sooo right <p>[This message has been edited by Bonny (edited March 10, 2000).]
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Oh I know full well how crappy you feel after contact, even a small bit (I caved in before, and it wasn't pretty). That doesn't stop the urges from coming. I just have to keep telling myself that it isn't worth it. But it's just awfully damn HARD!! <P>I don't want to talk to her about starting up the relationship again... It's just that we had such great conversations about all kinds of other stuff, and I want that back! It's something my wife (as great as she is at other stuff) will never be able to give me. alas!<P>So I fight the fight day after day.<P>--airheart
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