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But, my main point is it is not my "responsibility" to tell the other BS. Nonsense. Whomever has knowledge of wrongdoing has a moral obligation to warn the victim. Would you use this same excuse if your neighbor's child was being molested? If your neighbors bookkeeper was stealing money from him? "Oh well, it's not my problem." Helping our fellow man is the foundation of decency in a civilized society, if you don't feel its your problem to warn someone he is being destroyed behind his back, then that says alot about you.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Surviver:
Would you also agree that it is not your "responsibility" to go to the police if you witness a mugging or armed robbery, but were just a passer-by and were not involved or hurt by this. If I follow your line if thinking, then I can only assume you also feel that it is NOT your responsibility to go to the police here. What says you?
LM
Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.
I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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I happen to greatly differ with your sense of "responsibility"......and many others do also.....for that we can at least be thankful. That seems disrespectful to me. I'm surprised you didn't put the usual <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> after your DJ as you often do. Thanks for the honest opinion. You're welcome. So why the DJ then?
Last edited by Surviver; 02/11/06 01:40 PM.
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I happen to greatly differ with your sense of "responsibility"......and many others do also.....for that we can at least be thankful. That seems disrespectful to me. I'm surprised you didn't put the usual <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> after your DJ as you usually do. Thanks for the honest opinion. You're welcome. So why the DJ then? Avoiding the subject.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I didn't avoid the subject...I had just finished with my opinion of "the subject" and then said I felt his comment was disrespectful.
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I didn't avoid the subject...I had just finished with my opinion of "the subject" and then said I felt his comment was disrespectful. In other words, you can't defend your position.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I know that many many people like to call themselves Christians , so I think I should get some good answers here. We all talk about exposure and I think it is not a point of debate really.....HOWEVER, what is your opinion of a Betrayed Spouse who does NOT expose to the Other Persons spouse? Is there a moral duty to do so, if the BS Wayward goes NC and immidiately on the straight and narrow right after D-Day. Is this a lie by ommission? Is there any "true" reason for a BS NOT to immediately expose to the other BS in the equation (even if counseled to do so by the experts)...EVEN if it may hurt our own recovery?
I happen to believe that a Betrayed Spouse who witholds this information from another betrayed spouse is equally guilty of the affair...as they had knowledge to help stop it for someone else,....or better yet, allow someone else to make their OWN decision of what they want to do woth the information.
I have a realy big problem with people who call themselves "Christians" yet they somehow find ways to rationalize NOT exposing to the other betrayed spouse in the equation. They know a "murder" was committed but don't go to the police with what they know...Withholding this information for even one day is 100% enabling of an evil affair and act and in my opinion bestows guilt and sin on the Betrayed.
I really believe in Karma, and I think that if you as a Betrayed Spouse are privy to the information of an affair and do NOT let the other spouse know RIGHT AWAY, then you are just as guilty. Karma will rear it's ugly head. Perhaps an unpopular opinion with the masses here, but I challenge others to give me valid reasons why I should reconsider this thinking.
What do you all think?
Lem I thought this was "the subject"....why the murder, molester questions?
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I happen to greatly differ with your sense of "responsibility"......and many others do also.....for that we can at least be thankful. That seems disrespectful to me. I'm surprised you didn't put the usual <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> after your DJ as you often do. Thanks for the honest opinion. You're welcome. So why the DJ then? LOL...there was no DJ intended...I happen to strongly disagree with your definition of responsibility, but I also realize that you are also free to live your life and have beliefs of your own. That's all. I would rather get someone's honest opinion about this, then a stepford opinion and say what they think we want to hear. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> ( a triple one for ya) LM
Last edited by lemonman; 02/11/06 01:50 PM.
Some people just don't get it, they don't get it that they don't get it.
I had the right to remain silent.......but I didn't have the ability.
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I thought this was "the subject"....why the murder, molester questions? They are called "analogies." Their purpose is to examine your stated "principle." Does your principle make sense when applied to other acts?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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They are called "analogies." I didn't reply to "analogies", I replied to the original post. And then I was told this I happen to greatly differ with your sense of "responsibility"......and many others do also.....for that we can at least be thankful. I just gave my opinion. I don't want to argue.
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Surviver, your "opinion" was challenged using those analogies. And you can't defend your opinion.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Why do I have to defend my opinion?
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Do you still bleive that total exposure under any and al circumstances is the best policy? even given the circumstances I presented you with is correct?
Even Lem, who started this post has said perhaps not!
If you do not agree, despite my particular sitch, I am willing to submit this to SH who founded this site.
I fear many are drifting away from his principles, even though they don't see it.
Dr. H advocates exposure for one reason only; to break up the ongoing affair. Nothing further. Further is delving into revenge and has nothing to do with Christian priciples.
I'm still willing to spend the 185 dollars to reiterate this if you guys are willing to listen!!!
All Blessings,
Jerry
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Why do I have to defend my opinion? You don't have to do anything. But if my "opinion" was demolished I would defend it if I felt it was correct. You can't defend your opinion.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Jerry I totally understand and agree with your decision in your situation. I don't see any benefit to anyone given the info you have stated, that exposure would do anything but harm.
And I don't think you have to defend that, or pay $185 to "prove" anything.
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Jerry, did you read my last post to you?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Surviver, where is the argument here?? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Because majority doesn't agree, we are arguing??? Our sense of responsibility is just different than yours. Oh, and ours is right. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
The queen, for her part, is the unifying force of the community; if she is removed from the hive, the workers very quickly sense her absence. After a few hours, or even less, they show unmistakable signs of queenlessness. - Man and Insects
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Mel,
I don't feel my opinion was demolished. Just because you don't understand or agree does not mean my opinion is wrong or "demolished". That's funny.
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I did not say I "shouldn't" tell, or that I "wouldn't" tell. I just don't happen to agree that it is my "responsibility" to tell. It's not that complicated <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> back at ya jelly.
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Mel,
I don't feel my opinion was demolished. Just because you don't understand or agree does not mean my opinion is wrong or "demolished". That's funny. I hate to tell you this, but your opinion was refuted and you can't defend it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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