Who was that RW from KY, Pep?

You don't have 2 answer that.

I love the testimonial, 2.

-ol' 2long

PEP-

I just wanted to say that I think your 2 previous posts are wonderful.

TESTIMONY OF A FOOL has to be one of the most poignant things I've read in a long time...

What could've been....

Heartmending:

I have often wondered how an "hour" counseling session was developed as the "time" that should be devoted in any given week. Sometimes an hour is too long and at other times, it would seem that an hour is too short.

Perhaps it is all a compromise.

Larry

Who cares what you think?
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Deleted

To Owl:

You may not be able to speak for everyone...but you can speak for me anytime! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

I agree with you. It's not necessary to rile people up in order to get your point across. It only serves to make them combative. The message itself becomes lost in the reader's emotional response due to poorly chosen words. Why use a Sherman tank when a flyswatter will do the same job? It makes no sense to me either.

Personally, I don't see how "everyone's opinion counts" here at MB. Ideas cannot flow freely, not even if those ideas are representative of the program. And while I'm VERY happy to recommend the literature, I won't recommend the forum to anyone again.

It's a shame too, because the vast majority of these good folks are respectful and kind in their postings.

Thanks LJ...I know I don't speak for everyone...but I DO know that there have been complaints virtually every week about the lack of respect shown to MANY posters by just a few people on this site. There have been MANY people who have complained about the personal attacks, the derogatory comments, the deliberately offensive tones and comments made by a few people. It's not a 'posting style'...it's deliberately posting personal comments ABOUT PEOPLE...not about the problems or issues. It's disrespectful judgements being deliberately posted with no other intent than to cause hurt feelings, angry responses, and to truly do nothing more than to HURT THE POSTERS.

I've raised this issue here before. On the original post in this thread, Tempest said:


But that standard isn't enforced in this forum now. I've asked here, I've emailed the moderators (with a single response to one of my emails...subsequent emails have been ignored), I've posted in the forum on this board where these questions are supposed to be asked (again, with no response).

So I'll ask my question here again...why does this board allow personal attacks, rude and attacking comments, and continued blatant disrespect to many posters by a handful of people? There have been MANY complaints, MANY threads locked due to a couple of specific people's attacks...rather than lock the thread, how about setting and ENFORCING the guidelines down for posting here?

I know that this post is going to upset a number of people...sorry, but this needs to be aired. I'm sure I'm considered the problem...but I'm not. I'm just the guy who's tired of seeing it over and over. Tired of seeing posters chased off by others because of rude, angry, verbally abusive comments. Rather than attack the people, lets attack the problems.

Anyone else feel this way? LJ, 2BN, LLG, IWRA...and any number of other posters who have given up because of this?

Or are the crickets chirping?

From Penalty Kill

I hear you, Owl. I have decided that it is like this quote from George Orwell's Animal Farm: "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others".

I have pretty thick skin (physically and emotionally) so I'm able to brush any attacks off without too much offense taken. However, I can see where others have felt hurt, and that is wrong, IMVHO. Remember back in elementary school, when you had a playground bully? There were three roles the other children played: either they got bullied, they joined in the bullying, or they sat by quietly and watched, grateful they weren't the recipient of the bullying. Same rules apply throughout life. Fear of reprisal shouldn't keep folks from standing up for others. I'll probably be black-balled for saying this, and I even considered using a new screen name, just to avoid confrontation. That would be wrong and cowardly, so here I am.

I've been off and on this site for (yipes) almost 7 years... a cyber-lifetime! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

This kind of thing has gone on since dot... the beginning... and there's not a heck of a lot anyone can do about it... except!... put it in its proper perspective.

This is not real life, it is a website. I know that we all are real people... and I have been hurt more times than I can count... seriously. I've been attacked, had threads closed, removed and edited. BTDT.

All that said, there are 50,000+ posters and god only knows how many readers... and a small handfull of moderators who do the work for free on their own time. And really, unless this were a private (log-in only) website with 30 posters tops, there is simply not enough hours in a day to catch every infraction.

Also interesting to note: Just this morning I was looking for something on a thread from last week and I noticed that Justuss had been there and edited out a bunch of curse words ... stuff where the poster(s) used *$@ instead of letters... now there's just ***'s there and the note that Justuss edited. I wondered why that was done. Has it really gotten that bad that adults can't use )&^$# to say a word we'd say even in polite company?

I think the whole thing has gotten out of hand all the way around... yes, there are a few hard-core posters who seem to push the buttons of a lot of folks... and again, I have been 'hit' by a few stray, or intentionally fired bullets myself. But at the end of the day, this is a website... about saving marriages... not the church social or a family gathering. This is a lesson I've had to learn the hard way.

ETA: I do realize that this is also a living, breathing community... please don't misunderstand me. Yes, you'll care about people and their situations... but still, when all is said and done, it will have been a moment in time... even if you stay for years, as a few of us have... there is this world and the real world. Sometimes they meet... but usually... we will fade away from this place, as so many have before us... because it is... a website.

Agreed...however since this is a website where people come for help and advice and assistance through one of the most difficult situations that they're ever likely to face they should feel comfortable to post without fear of attack, critical personal judgements, or any other form of disrespect.

We're here to help. Help does NOT mean attacking a poster's character, or making rude disrespectful comments about them.

It's about helping them to identify and solve the problems that brought them here. If there is something glaringly obvious that requires a 2x4...aim it at the problem, not the person.

So how about we do it that way instead? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

that's was makes this place so special...