I was posting in Emotional Needs, I'm posting here at the request of LovingAnyWay. Basically, My W is ready to go. We've had problems over the years (10) and because of my lack of listening, her lack of confrontation, and some newly diagnosed ADHD of mine, we haven't been the happiest couple around. She's done, I'm finally seeing what is going on. I am going through the steps of plan A as she has become attached to a friend of hers that she was using as support. She won't give him up, and she has already expressed her desire for him sexually. She says nothing has gone physical yet, though I keep thinking it is just a timing thing. I have completely turned my behavior around in the last couple of months, first to depressed clinghy, and now to accepting and happy. It is a weird set of emotions that I'm going through, but I no longer am pushing her to make it work. I've accepted the fact that she has just as many issues as I do and if she decides to sleep with him I'll have to cross that if/when it gets here. Since my new change of accepting te world around me, not fighting it, and actually being able to seperate myself emotionally from her, she seems to be more into trying to work on us. She wrote me in the notebook we've been using that she is ready for counseling whenever I set a date. She also mentioned that she was willing to try other things I may have seen along the way. I printed out all the questionaires off of here and gave them to her months ago, so I mentioned I would like to fill them out with her.
My original post on EM is I need help!

Thanks for any help.

Welcome anon2. I know it's not the place you'd want to be, but I'm glad you found it. I've learned SOOOOO much since I've found this place--a true life saver. Everyone here is a great support.

Is she still in contact with OM?

Since she "says" she hasn't slept with him, I'd act right now and start exposing. As others will tell you here, that's the first step in ending her EA (if not PA). (There are some great exposure experts here who will hopefully chime in) As long as she has contact with OM, she can't even begin to commit to changing herself and working on the marriage.


I wanted to comment on this because I don't think you need to accept your wife's behavior or the condition of your marriage--you DO need to fight for it. Accepting it will not make it better. Affairs, whether physical or emotional--are battles worth overcoming--and your marriage is definitely worth FIGHTING for.

I think that's why you came here!

Again, welcome.

Intexas

Is the other man married?

I am fighting for my marraige and trying to keep her from having a romp with the OM. I just mean I accepted the fact it might still happen. I'm backing off emotionally, otherwise I crawl up her butt with my needs and wants, essentually pushing her away more.

Yes, he is married. My W was using both as a sounding board.

It is exposed.