I have not been here for a while due to a decision I made to stop dating and stop looking for dates. After to many dissapointments I decided that it was time to take a break, work on myself and perhaps let some time go by.

So, a few weeks ago, I am at an anniversary party for friends. A small band is playing some decent dance music. Karen, a rather luscious 43 year old walks over and asks me to dance. We have a great time together at the party and agree to go dancing together in the future.

Last week, my friend Lisa is having a birthday party for her 9 year old daughter. Lisa is an attractive 52 year old and one of the few people I know of that age who has such young children. She asks me to drop by and take some photos for her scrapbook. I do that and as the party is wrapping up she comments "We have to get togther soon for an evening out". OK......

Finally, it seems that I never hid my old Internet dating profile. (I could swear I did!) Last night I get an e-mail from a lady who lives nearby who shares many interests with me. I e-mail her back last night (Friday nights are not a party night for me and, I guess, also her) and she replies that she would like to meet for coffee this morning. We meet, talk and agree to get together next week.

2 months ago, I couldn't get a date if my life depended upon it. I decide to give up for a few months and fate deals me three aces right off the bat!

Can anybody explain this?

Yes...

"for everything there is a season"

and it seems this is your season!

How cool is that?

Sometimes you just have to wait for the right things to unfold.

what's the old saying... it happens when you are not actively looking for it??? mlhb

You know the best part? You'll go out with these ladies figuring, ok new friends, could be fun. Then one of them will be just a little more interesting, more your type, a better fit...

Who knows? For now it sounds good.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

'Explanation' is that happiness/love doesn't come when you chase it but when you let it chasing you.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

randomness

Just keep not looking even though you have a few in sight. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

wiffty wants to argue randomness. Perhaps he's right, perhaps not, it would be hard to say for sure.

My theory is that you are much more relaxed when you stopped trying. You "became" more confident, more self assured, and in many ways, more attractive.

IIRC, you were a little wound-up about dating. But take away that pressure and folks see a more confident and attractive man.

Whatever it is, I encourage you to enjoy what's happening right now and learn from it.

T

E_Ex is right... I think sometimes when we are looking, it projects the wrong signals. It makes it look like, well, we are looking!!

Good luck, let us know how it works out.

Keith

When you stop looking and just live the life you want to live ---- love blossoms and blooms. You don't have to look - it will find you.

Jan

hmmm... I gotta go check my post on that last thread of yours... I'm pretty sure I said something about "looking" for the wrong people...too hard... wanting it too much!

I agree to all of the above to some extent. Think about it, you were almost desperate ("dispair"ation may be a better description) back then. No one wants someone like that. It seemed to me you were a little hard on the gals. Now that you've come to the choice to be happy alone...well, you are just happy. That's more attractive than anything to me!
So stay that way! You're a good dude, don't settle, be happy with who and where you are! Have fun! This is your payback for all that you were going through on those sites before-all that frustration!

Oh, and keep us updated and don't be a stranger! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Well...lookie here: I found my post on that thread!!!:

"Justin, might you just be so eager to meet someone that you are becoming a little overbearing and perhaps cynical? I don't mean that in a harsh way, but like I said initially, I've not been around for almost a month and your other threads and posts said the same thing....
Can you find ANY positive about the internet dating thing? Cuz if not, I think you should try some other approach. You are meeting several people very quickly. You would meet the same kind of people outside of the internet, but would take more time to find this out. Be grateful!!! Let it be a positive rather than a negative that you are weeding out the yukky ones, focus on the ones that interest you and you feel are interested right back atcha!"

Yup!

Well, I want to point out that I am doing something, just nothing about actively pursuing women. But, I am getting out to enjoy myself doing things I like.

Drita, I am not cynical, about the dating process or Internet sites. I think I am learning more about how to date, and how to use these places. But, I still think that the idea of instant or quick attraction is bogus and gets in the way of some good relationships. It takes time to get to know people, lots of time. And the Internet experience seems to short circuit that process for many people. Just my observation.

Anyway, I will be asking one of the ladies out to dinner this weekend. No big deal. We both belong to a professional society that has a meeting and I will ask her if she would like to have dinner at a new restuarant after the afternoon meeting is over. That's it.

One thing I have to remember is that I am still finding my new self. And until I know who he is at his core, I guess it's hard to expect any woman to go head over high-heels for me. On the other hand, a good woman who could help me explore myself would not be unwelcome. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

justin's THEORY ROCKS!

your theory is sooo darn true.

I think however, you should treat internet as I am treating it now...THIS PROBABLY WON'T WORK...BUT WHAT IF IT DID? so that you're NOT bogged down...but you could have a pleasant surprise.

my pain med is beginning to work..

good luck with the date this weekend. I think going out w/somebody in your professional society is NOT a bad thing..gives plenty to talk about, shared experiences, and is something that is a shared hobby you both have in common. give it a chance <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

JE,
My second post here was my quote from the other thread about internet dating when you were so frustrated with it. You just had a lot of frustration around the women you were meeting.
You are getting it! Now you are seeing that you have to know yourself and LOVE YOURSELF -acceptance of who and where you are-before anyone else can!!! You will be sucessful! I'm so excited for you... keep us updated!