My husband was on another business trip last night and the ow was there also. They had a dinner w/ the bosses last night. He had told me earlier in the day that he would call me later. He did not. My good guess that a good dinner a few drinks and all that freedom culminated in what he had supposedly been fighting against in this last year. I lay away all night trying to accept those pictures in my mind that make me crazy. They make me so crazy that I don't even want to talk to him. He is supposed to help me move Saturday ( he comes home Friday). I am thinking about getting other help as I don't think I can even look at him and I'm sure he won't be able to look at me. I am wondering if I should answer any calls he may make to me in the meantime. I really need his help Saturday and also need some things from our house. I am so anxious, I am shaking. Guess I'll go get some coffee! Ha.<BR>What do you think guys?<BR>Thanks,<BR>Cathy

Don't spend time trying to accept the pictures, don't think of them at all. I had 2 nights in Aug that I knew my H was with someone and it turned out to be the same ole skank. I simply refuse to give her space in my mind. Usually...anyway I'm angry just thinking about the B.

ceverson - I picture my W and her OM having sex together. I picture them having TERRIFIC sex together. I picture her giving him everything she denies me. I picture them having conversations about ME in which she describes what a klutz I am and he gives her bad advice for dealing with me. I picture him giving her gifts which then mysteriously show up in our house or around her neck. I picture the two of them bombing around town in his convertible having a high time, or rendezvousing in other cities when she takes a trip and spending the night together. But no, I wouldn't say that I'm obsessed with her affair! Not at all!<P>Anyway, I understand where you're coming from in your situation. I can only sympathize and say that I know from personal experience how hard it is to deal with the kind of thoughts you describe. Unfortunately, you can't just shut them off (or I can't, anyway). And I sure do know that crazy feeling you're talking about. (Oh, I know it only too well!) One thing I have done to deal with these (did I say obsessive?) thoughts is to use them for ideas on how to spy on my W. That is, I started figuring, well, if they're doing this or that at a certain place, why hell, I can go there and catch them at it! And it worked at least once when I saw them together in his car. (Problem is that seeing them together only sparked more and MORE thoughts!)<P>I guess what I'm saying is that you're in good company here! Regards and blessings,<P>--Wex