Graycloud -

Right after D-day, I had a lot of hope for my marriage. My WH and I had never argued, and I thought we had a wonderful marriage.

But he left me so completely after D-day, and remained mostly out of my life, that I gave up. But of course, these things happen over and over again. We haven't experienced it, but the MB program has it right.

It was a whole lot of loss for all of you... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

...But nothing you asked for or wanted.

I hope someday you can see those grandchildren.

LS -

I hope so too. The aftermath of D-day was horrible. His 2 daughters knew that he was cheating. One enabled it, and the other told me that WH had a secret cell phone. So I ended up having an angry confrontation with the first one, and her dad had an angry confrontation with the other one. But after that, things were strained.

As my WH brought the OW to more family activities, she took my place.

It's been a sad road for you Believer, the past 3 years, but you are an overcomer!! I see the Lord is your strength, and He has so much in store for you.

Lady

LS - Yes, it was sad. And I do know that the Lord has been working in my life. I'm a different person now.

You always want what you can't have!!!

B, my, how can you not be delighted that you are the best lodgin's in town now OW skanked WH ?

I remain staggered at the sheer transparent selfishness of LTA WS wheo want to come home and are sorry THE SECOND there ain't nowhere else to go.

Bless you B,

An kudos to OWH for wanting her back.

Wow, believer. What a story !!

It has happened again - W G A C A

I am sure that you have detached so much that you probably do not have any feelings at all either way.

My very best to you, Carnation

Believer,

U bring grace, beauty and a sense of reality to all here who think there is no light at the end of the tunnel. For the BS there is always recovery. There is no recovery for the WS. As long as the WS stays as a WS, there's no up....just down.

So he maybe seeing the light or just the selfish part of him wanting t/b coddled. Hm..... seems u r 2 busy and 2 good t/b coddling or cuddling a WS. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

I respect you and your decisions. How he chooses to end being a WS is still yet t/b seen.

Save some popcorn for me. I wanna watch. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

L.

Of COURSE the A ends.

Believe me, if I had followed the OM my story would be the same. It HAD NOT A HOPE IN HEII of surviving.

I have a young friend I met at work. Her OM left his marriage for her. This happened all before my A and I had NO idea about A's. None whatsoever.

A couple of months ago they got engaged and she had the biggest rock on her finger I've ever seen. He was a no good loser from the day she met him. Now the rock has gone and she's back living with her parents after 4 years. This information all came via my DD who works with her now.

Interestingly, and I note with some smugness, his BS has remarried and is very happy.

GC, whyever do you think they'll be happy. They're doomed.

Believer:

I have been reading your posts for two years now and I know you have been very "matter of fact" about your WH and that you learned to live without him. When there seemed no hope for reconcilliation, I understand your guarded feelings, but if you soften those feelings, don't let pride get in the way for your own benefits of the rest of your life.

You have probably moved forward in your life and I wouldn't blame you if you said no to him forever. I am not sure if you have found someone to replace him or not, but don't allow yourself to be lonely forever if there is any reasonable chance that your WH would really want to start over.

If you haven't found another person, maybe now is the time to start looking if you would never take him back. None of us wants to grow old alone. I am pleased justice has come to be seen for you, and yes you are right, the Harleys have it figured out well.

I would be like you, I think. After three years, it would be very hard to take back my FWW had she left me for her OM for that period of time so I completely understand your feelings. Let's see how many attempts he makes to come back home. Good luck to you.

Dave

And B, where it relates directly to you.

I'm not at all surprised. For the reasons above. OF COURSE the A ends.

B, I thought I was following your footsteps but now the path has changed!

Thank You!!!! for telling us that MB really does work. WOW!

I think you have a lot to think about...

OMIGOSH!!!

Believer, this is unreal news, and I've read this thread with bated breath.

While I believe that only very few marriages are not salvageable, I think we all have the right to choose whether we salvage them or not. You're a prime example of what Lemonman said in another thread, that most of the time whether or not the marriage survives is up to the BS. I respect you, and respect your decision.

Believer, you have been a voice of common sense and reason to me, and I'm sure many others here. I hope you don't think your work here is done yet!

Believer,
Where are you? I have missed you. I hope like FF and I are thinking you are happily busy. Respond when you have time.
Hugs to you
JE

Wow wow wow

I am so happy for you B. You have been such a great help to me with my sitch and I think you are amazing.

I understand the loss of relationships due to the A. I am going through some of the same. I'm sorry that your love for your WS is gone but I am happy that with the love gone, maybe the pain has diminished as well.

Keep us posted on the roller coaster that your H is on. It would be pretty hard for me not to gloat. God bless you and the new start to the rest of your life.

Loni

Believer,

I am just in shock here. I don't know what to say.

it does happen, its just a damn shame it took so long for them to get it.

You are one strong woman and have come so far.

You have no idea how this gives those of us still waiting for the fog to life hope. But like you it may take to long and we have moved on. But just to know it does happen makes it easier.....



Hurting

oops guess I should read the darn thread at 630 in the am.
Believer,
You are an inspiration. You are rock solid and I can see Gods handiwork in you. Hold strong and true.
I would not be as strong as you are. I would have read the darn letters and might even had taken him back.
Kudos to you. I wish you peace and happiness in your days.
JE

LMAO!!!

Oh, I am SO using that! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Oh B!!

I have been so disracted the last few days that when I saw this today I just about fell off my seat.

I could not believe your WS response. I mean I would love it for you if he was genuine and it happened waayyyyyy sooner
BUT to virtually ignore you for what - 3 & a bit years now ? - cut you right out of his life and his families life and now even expect you to just invite him in.. wow now that really is the delusory FOG big time.

Like any of us 'WS' HE HAS TO FACE UP TO WHAT HE'S DONE.
HE has to change HIS life and then also face the reality that HIS actions may have cost him his M and thats it, there may be no going back.

Whatever YOU decide B I will pray and hope that you will not be hurt further .. from the bottom of my heart I pray that.
Just decide with a cool head, a gentle heart, & from a place of peace within yourself.

it really does demostrate that the Harleys experience and knowledge is spot on a majority of the time.