Here is another one too good to not pass along. Recently I posted that we had to take DDs to the emergency room for food poisoning where we all spent the night. Nurse came in to give DD1 her IV and all was fine. DD1 has no aversion to needles - they fascinate her. DD2 is a different story.

If DD2 won't eat, we tell her we will have to take her to the doctor to get a shot. She eats. She is so scared of needles. For her vaccinations, it takes both gemela and I to hold her down (she weights 20 KG).

Well that night gemela was beside DD1's bed and I was holding DD2 at her bed. She had her osito (little rat/bear) in her arm. I saw the nurse get the needle out and, being alone, I spread my body out as best I could pressing down on her upper body and legs. The nurse grabbed the arm and DD2, with her free arm and bear, began to flail at the nurse for all she was worth. Landed some pretty good blows too. I finally got the arm and bear under control and felt so bad for DD2's fear and pain.

Now though, looking back, it was just the funniest thing I have seen in years. DD2 was so fierce it was comic. And that little bear coming to her defense...

That little bear (rat) has had more surgeries than Evel Knievel in his prime. It takes all our imagination and skill to keep that bear in one piece.

believer,

How do I know if AD's work or not? If I am not depressed, does that mean they are working? For me, AD's are a kind of like those little plastic air bags attached to the oxygen masks in airplanes. If they don't inflate, they are working properly. What does that mean? Why are they even there? I want to start a business to manufacture those air bags. It must be great to be able to make a product and sell it at very high margin when it's sole function is to do nothing.

About the osito, we were at the Magic Planet in Dubai and DDs were riding the rides and gemela and I were a little bored so she took a coin and put it in one of the machines that has stuffed animals on a rotating carousel and you have to try to knock off an animal and, if you do, you get the animal. Well DD1 wanted a bear so gemela go one first try. But then DD2 saw that DD1 had a bear so she wanted one too. Beginner's luck did not repeat. Gemela got close but just kept missing a bit. The rat/bear was getting close to the edge and then tension started to build because someone else came along on the machine and, seeing the the rat/bear was close to falling, began to go for the same toy. Well I have mentioned before that gemela is competitive. Now she was in her element. Beads of sweat now appear on her brow (I'm sorry - beads of "glow" - gemela doesn't sweat - she glows). Coins are popping fast and furious. Well two and a half hours and $87.43 (exchange rate) later, DD2 had her bear and still has it.

That little bear is a survivor. DD2 had her fling with skunky spray and left the osito behind. Poor little osito - for weeks all he could do was watch helplessly. Later she tried to maintain a relationship with both skunky spray and osito but there was just no future in it. DD2 finaly dumped skunky spray and is totally dedicated to osito and the two are very happy together again. It was osito's faith in DD2 and his love for her that survived the test of time.

LMAO.

Hmmmm, as a sufferer of depression since I was 16 I can tell you how you know they work.

You can get out of bed in the morning
You don't cry all day
You take an interest in your surroundings, your family and your work
You don't wake at 3.00am every morning (except I still do)
You take an interest in your hobbies
You take an interest in your appearance
You can cook a meal
You can clean a house
You can leave the house on your own

Seriously, Traic, in the depths of my worst depressions over the years I haven't been able to do any of those things.

I stopped taking mine just before Christmas this year. I'd run out and felt good so I thought I'd be ok.

When I dragged myself to the doctor, she was absolutely horrified at what I looked like. I was at work, I was functioning at home but, OMG, I was a complete, suicidal mess.

You can get out of bed in the morning........N/A
You don't cry all day........................N/A
You take an interest in your surroundings, your family and your work......................yes okay

You don't wake at 3.00am every morning (except I still do)...Always have - even before the A.

You take an interest in your hobbies.......not really, no

You take an interest in your appearance.....wouldn't help - I only have so much to work with.

You can cook a meal.....................never a problem

You can clean a house........always have but never good enough for gemela though

You can leave the house on your own.....hmmm....

I don't think I was that depressed before except that I could not concentrate at work. Now I can concentrate better at work. I don't know if it is because of the AD's or that I just don't worry about the future any more.


This whole thing though has me furious about that stupid skunky spray - the OB (other bear). I have no idea how he got DD2 to dump the osito but I am going to rip skunky spray apart and burn the pieces when I get home tonight. It has only now occurred to me that DD2 had her first affair. She is only 5 and already turning out just like Mom!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" />

LOL - yep, fickle, fickle woman.

When AD's are prescribed for a particular "event" it's probably slightly different.

They take the edge off the gaping hole. When they're working, the problem doesn't seem quite so overwhelming, you can function better. You know the problem is still there but it doesn't seem insurmountable, it seems to be something you can cope with.

I know the "signs" when I'm getting into my black hole. I should by now, I've lived with clinical depression a long time.

Well initially I had my calendar marked by cc46's 10-20 day estimate but the believer posted and made me add a few extra days to the calendar so I got confused. I can't count pills because gemela and I share a pack and we both forget sometimes. I'll wait a few extra days just to be sure.

I worked really hard yesterday to help get the house back in order. I folded clothes, sorted socks (my least favorite activity), washed, cooked, set up pool, painted, in short - I was exhausted and my back hurt. On our way up the stairs after dinner, gemela's back went out. I had to carry her up the stairs to bed because she couldn't walk. I am back at work now so am getting some much needed rest.

BTW, I ended up with eleven socks without partners. I searched everywhere but now have almost a dozen socks destined to live the rest of their lives alone. Apparently their "better halves" decided to run off and search for another sole mate. There is little to no chance of reconciliation. I had to create a halfway drawer for unwanted socks. Their future looks bleak. They may now have to support themselves in other ways - may have to get work as dusters or wax removers. Otherwise they will remain "empty" for the rest of their lives.

Other than that, the weekend was a pretty good one. No crises between WW and me.

traicionado,

You are assigning human qualities to socks and bears. My considered guess is that the AD's are working just fine. My concern is that they seem to have put you in a sentimentality frame of mind. It doesn't become you.

Do you feel okay? You now concentrate better at work, but does your logic still serve you well? Honestly, you sound like a different person.

BTW, what AD are you on? I'm putting in my order next week!

ToddAC,

That is somewhat encouraging. I was worried that I might be allowing the A to affect every aspect of my life. I am relating everything to the A now - trees, movies, bears, even socks. I was afraid you would say I was obsessing - which is my fear.

I have always been sentimental since I was a small child. One of my flaws but one I cannot seem to change. I hope gemela doesn't put that on her EN list. For the most part I have always been able to hide that from her.

Gemela told me last night she wishes we could go back to a previous time before any of this happened. I had no idea what to say so I did exactly that.

Well, don't feel bad. WW told me she wishes we could go back to a previous time also, like before she accepted my marriage proposal. When she sought to rewrite our marital history, she went back to the cosmic egg.

I have also been blamed for being the one to push building the house across the street from the house which OM and XW bought. You see the logic don't you? If I had not built the house, she would have never met OM and we will still be in a perfect world of marital bliss. I think I will buy a stuffed bear for myself tomorrow. They keep history and reality right where it should be.

My youngest son sounds the most like DD1. His "bear" was a blanket he kept since infanthood. We went to DisneyWorld and he left his "blankie" in the room. Well, as you can well imagine, hail, fire and brimstone broke loose. I got on the phone with the hotel who could not find blankie. Not being one to accept defeat, I asked for the hotel manager and offered a reward for the safe return of blankie. He was a good guy; he pretended that my request was "normal". Well, as it turned out, one of the members of the housekeeping department had blankie on her cart. Whether she would have returned it without the incentive of a reward, I will never know. DS3 still has the blankie although hopefully, it sits in a drawer buried under footballs and baseball gloves. I think we paid $20.00 for that blankie. Including the reward: $120.00. Priceless.

I wasn't even on AD's at the time. I did take AD's much later however. You know my situation. One of the "side effects" was a deep and dark depression. I had always been a positive and upbeat person but no longer. My ability to conentrate was shot. I could not work and I was so far gone I had trouble with personal hygiene! I took the first AD at bedtime and the next day, I got on the computer and wrote a detailed and long memo to my department at work. My mental clarity was outstanding. Relatively speaking of course. Then I fell asleep for many hours. Sleep didn't come easy then, it comes less easy now.

I now just want to be numb. I want to take the same AD's you are taking. I want to search for hours for kissing cousins to mismatched socks. I want to buy skunk spray. I want to paint DS1 entire place.

Incidentally, DS2 had always wanted to be a geologist, specifically a mineraliologist since he was in the fourth grade. He wanted to attend Stanford. I took him to tour Stanford when he was twelve! Twelve mind you. He once found a precious stone on his elementary school's playground. He brought it home and gave it to WW. She keeps it in a jewel box that used to hold her wedding ring. He thought it was the Hope diamond. She thought he was silly for playing with dirty rocks. WW has always seen things through her own lens even with the kids.

Well, anyway I know I had a point to all this other than a t/j. Oh of course, you see, you and I am more alike than we are different. So when I give you advice, know it is in reality, group therapy. Honestly, I think you need different AD's. I think I need to start taking them. I want whatever you are taking.

ToddAC,

I think you should start dropping breadcrumbs in your thread so you can find your way out. I believe I just went in a circle.

$100? Cheap at the price. I was going to miss my flight and return a day later from Mexico to Dammam so I could go back for the bear but I couldn't get space on such short notice.

Sending a stuffed bear in a bunny suit from Mexico to Dhahran, Saudi Arabia via DHL: $454. Loaded travelcase with milk and cookies: another $40. The look on DD1's face and the squeak of her voice when she opened the door: priceless. Some things in life money can't buy. For everything else, there's Mastercard.

The $500 is still cheap at the price. I was just about to book a ticket to Mexico to pick the bear up myself since SIL couldn't be bothered to send it. I would have gone too. No doubt about it.

I am taking cipralex simply because it is the only thing the doctor here knows how to prescribe. They seem to be quite popular since they are found just about everywhere and even in vending machine dispensers at the mall. I still want proof. What is it? If you don't commit suicide, the pill must be working? If the pill doesn't work and you do kill yourself, you get a money back guarantee (but you must apply in person)? I found that KiwiJ is wrong though - 40 is way too many. I like cc46's dosage of 10-20 per day much better. [You do know I am entirely joking right?]

Full circle. I know. And you were the one who led the group from the cave in total blackness and you need bread crumbs all of a sudden? You clearly need to change AD's. Send me the remainder of yours...

Not committing suicide is success. Sleeping is a measure of success. I get maybe 2-3 hours a night now all in the evening hours. I have missed American Idol four weeks in a row. They didn't send Bo and Carrie home did they?

I have to see my PCP again next week. I am going to tell him I need AD's. I am not functioning very well. Concentration, memory and sleep. Do the AD's help you sleep at all? Please say yes...

Yes, traicionado I know you are kidding about taking twenty AD's a day. I am not quite yet that far gone. Give me time.

Oh, BTW, I had another suicide threat come my way today at you know where. It is the third such person since January. I obviously emit some kind of beacon that attracts them to me. Do you know what? If so, please share because I am worn out from it all.

I need the breadcrumbs to get through your post.

Do you really think I need to change AD's? Throw me some names and I will see what I can buy OTC.

I can't see that AD's help sleep. In my case, I would say they have the opposite effect.

They did send Miss Pickler home this last week and Ace the week before. I was surprised about Ace. I didn't think he could win but I thought others had a worse week. Miss Pickler was a different story. Two bad weeks in a row. It was kind of painful this week, in fact. It was her turn definitely. I think there is one more on the borderline but the final four will be tough. All have the potential on any given night.

I knew you realized I was kidding about the AD dosage but I didn't want to leave it as you never know who might read the thread.

BTW it is now illegal to send pills to the USA unless they are for a pet. Some anti-Canadian legislation or something. Can you send me a notarized letter explaining that your poodle is depressed and needs AD? Once I get that, I will send the pills out immediately.

ToddAC,

Can you send me a link to the US National Anthem in Spanish? I am curious.

Yes, our cockapoo is very depressed. He is blind and has many joint problems. I have heard that WW is going to have him put to sleep. OM is probably behind that because he hates animals. Well, if you don't count the ones he has shot.

So, Carrie and Bo are still alive at AI?

I seriously do wonder about the effect of your AD's. I am not sure you are less depressed. Honestly, you sound numb to me. Don't get me wrong, I would take numb right now. I would welcome it like a long lost brother.

On one satellite (Star) we get AI live and with a 12 hour tape delay also since live is in the wee hours of the AM.


On Dubai ONE, it is only on tape delay and just happened to be on last night and I did hear Carrie and Bo sing. Just happens to be a one YEAR tape delay. Niko Smith was just brought back since Mario suddenly disappeared. Personally I think Anwar has a real shot this time.

So you are suggesting those were just random acts of violence rather than "hate" crimes?

Is Kelly Clarkston still on the show or has she been sent home? She is good if a little too pop for my taste.

I thought Anwar did an excellent job last time I saw him.

Lyrics to "Nuestro Himno" to be released this Sunday. As I am sure you know, the song was written to be a voice for the undocumented immigrants in this country.

Kelly who? No she wasn't on. She must be gone already. Probably wasn't very good.

I did notice that the himno nacional was written by a British guy for...err.... I don't know why it would occur to him that it would be a good thing. He probably has flagging record sales and needed the conTROVersy (British pronunciation). Or maybe it is just retribution for losing the war. Who knows?

I don't disagree that I am depressed. I know I am not "happy". I have a lot of moments during the day when I ma genuinely happy for the moment but, overall, I am still unhappy. I may be depressed but not REAL depressed. I don't think AD makes you happy. I don't know what I should feel. I don't know how I would feel if I were not taking them. I have no benchmark. I am going above and beyond for gemela and Plan A. I just don't know. I probably am depressed but not enough to know it or maybe just not enough to care. I can't say that there is anything in particular that bothers me except for the obvious. I do feel weird.