I visited TOW. It is like an underworld but it isn't. Stay away...

What did you say in your long post? Email me.

Kiwi certainly owes me nothing. My problem is that I project my WW onto other WW's stories. What perplexed me I suppose, is that I hold kiwi in such high regard. This was like learning a hero of yours is fallable. It was like learning that Superman really cannot fly. It also dashed any hope I had ever had for WW and me. If someone as strong and determined as kiwi is human, then certainly WW is human and hence is fallable. I cannot take fallable at this point in my life. Come to think of it, I have already repudiated that part of my life haven't I?

Projection, empathy, whatever. I do it to. It is, however, at the end of the day very unfair to poor KiwiJ.

Part of the reason I feel so vulnerable to all this is that, as I have said before, for me R is like "carrousel" in the movie Logan's Run. I just saw another one getting close and blowing up - and my stone is turning black so I think about "carrousel" a lot.

Carrousel is a trigger for me but no sweat.

As to kiwi, I don't think it has anything to do with being fair or unfair to her. While everyone was disappointed that she was reeled in by OM, my biggest disappointment, and I have no right to be disappointed, was that she did not tell BH. Each day of delay would put a layer of scar tissue on my heart. But there I go projecting again.

I hope her marriage can be saved.

I hope KiwiJ finds what she is looking for.

I hope my marriage can be saved.

T, I sent it to your other e mail a few minutes ago. I forgot to put a real subject in the mail so I think it says "Re: T".




See what I mean when I say you are still confused. You TELL gemela your marriage is dead and it never existed but at the same time you hope it can be saved? And all this in a few days?

T, I really think you have to decide, plan, and convince yourself.

Nobody would blame you if you divorced Gemela. It is your right. Infidelity is the worse thing that can happen to a marriage.

BUT Dr. Harley, and many other people, have PROVED that there is a way to survive it and come out better than you were personally, and get something POSITIVE from the whole rotten situation. The situation DOES NOT disappear. The difference is what you do with it.

Have you ever wondered why there are people who are divorced 2, 3, 4 or more times?

Did you get the song?

I had a plan. I thought I had a plan. There is no question I am confused. I am treading water and trying to survive one day at a time. I don't follow many threads on MB but all of those I do follow seem to have taken turns for the worse lately. I know this is affecting me. But the problem is still the A. That is the real issue. I am dealing with it as best I can.

3MB. That explains why hotmail wouldn't take it. It is only gemela's account that can get large attachments.

thanks

Oh, and I did change my screen name.

T, (can I still call you that, sounds nicer than E)

I would recommend you STOP everything, re read SAA and then decide your plan. You need to come to a point where you KNOW and are CONVINCED of what you want.

If you were convinced you wanted your marriage you would NEVER have told Gemela it was dead, because it couldn't have been what you believed!


Take some time off from all this. Reread the book and the material on the website. Don't read threads. MB is not having a good moment.

On your screenname, some may think it's a woman's name...

a couple of suggestions: Tenaz, Ilusionado, Esperanzado,

Have to go to work. As usual I'll get e mails but I can't post and today I'll be home very late. I have a very busy and important day!

I just changed for a much more macho name don't you think?

Important day? I thought you didn't do anything at work - oh, the padre. Te entiendo.

I do do things at work. I don't know if anyone cares what I do, but I can't be idle.

Today I analyzed the mortality of one geographic area, e mailed a person in an internatuional organization who wants to lends us money, sent her a whole lot of info, checked the status of illness in the geographic area I will visit next week, check what's happening with mumps, had a meeting with the boss, had a telephone conference...

and I also danced <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

The meeting with the priest is a relief. I will finally have the validation I need. I think I know what he will say.

He's a cool priest, young, outspoken, has no problem saying the truth. Last week tehre was a petition for terrorists! and he stood up and said, that yes we should pray for the terrorists to come to their senses, but also for those who are acting in democracies and are sometimes even worse that the terrorists! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />
See, he has no problem calling things what they are.
So I'm looking forward to the meeting, but before that I have to take my 87 yr old friend to a museum and to tea.

Okay T or P,

I don't even know you any more...

I know piojitos is not dirty because I think I have all those words down.

What does it mean?

I think it is those little bugs that leave eggs in your hair.

Then I guess its implication is symbolic and not literal? Hmm... I don't know T, err.. P, I think I would have picked a different name.

Hey ToddAC,

cc46 told me to change my screen name. Maybe she is right. For a few brief moments yesterday I was "esperanzas" but I was told that sounded feminine. Go figure. So I needed a word that ended in "o". Piojitos came to mind. Small insignificant things that just bug the heck out of me and I can't stop scratching. I think it pretty much describes where I am at the moment.

I apologize for snipping yesterday. I was really upset about something. Well, I already told you what that was. We are going to Bahrain for the weekend and are leaving in about 12 hours. Today is Mother's Day in Mexico so gemela is going for an "ultimate experience" spa package and I am searching for a pink Tamagachi for DD2. DD2 wants the Tamagachi because Yumna has one. Need I say more? Anyway, we will be gone for a few days so please stay out of trouble until I get back. I still wish you would let me get you a babysitter. I do so worry about you.

Hey T, E, I, S: I will start calling you alphabet!

When did I turn down a babysitter? Not saying I didn't; just remind me...

Hey, don't worry about snipping at me.

FWIW, I continue to feel good about the prospects for the survival of your M. You are a good man and a good Father and will see that it is done. G will come around, you'll see.

They say that the memory is the second thing to go. I can't remember what the first is though. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Piojitos are lice. It's a good name for you T, as long as I can call you T <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

You know I think your thoughts are coming too quickly. ADS could have helped you slow them down. That's one of the things they are credited with, which helps you think BETTER when you don't have so many thoughts. But maybe your ADS haven't done that.

In spanish tehre is a name for that phenomena, it's called "ideacion excesiva" I think. The main point is that if you feel you have too many thoughts and cannot control them, you can get help. What do you think?

BTW the song only lasts 3 or 4 minutes, how come you haven't listened to it all?????????? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Well I preferred my explanation from this morning to ToddAC but if you prefer to consider me a nasty little infestation that hangs on and refuses to let go, infects everything around it and is almost impossible to get rid of well...well....er.....uh.....I know I had a point....at least I think I had a point... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Okay.

Never mind. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />


I am headed to Bahrain. Back in a few days. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Okay T or P or "Head Lice",

We get to talk about you while you are gone.

Why head lice? I mean come on...

You wore out the welcome mat on traicionado, that's for sure.

You now need a positive name that offers a renewal of hope for the future. Spanish, English makes no difference, whichever language can supply the most apt name.

Or, we could call you snap-on...

Hey Todd,

now we can talk about him behind his back!

Actually piojo is a "cariñoso" way to call children here, as is piojito, so it is not at all derogatory. I don't see T as being "cute" like a child, but since his mother reads here, maybe she can correct us.

And he is a bit of a pest, don't you think?