I'm the stupid one AndyG's spouse refer http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...;page=0#2918750

I don't even know where to begin. . . I guess we are trying to work things out. Though from one day to the next I have moments when I think it is all futile, I wonder is it possible to have an STD from all of this? & not be aware of it? Besides HIV/Aids. I have now what I think is a yeast infection. Also I was preg. w/ our third @ the time this SUPPOSEDLY took place & ended (a three to four month span for him), what should I know, look for, or should I worry about w/ our now 3y old son? I have never known hurt like this do people actually exist that have this happen & remain married w/o further problems & eventually have a HAPPY TRUSTING relationship, I can't baby-sit him while he is @ work & that is where the OW still works as well to this day, . . .how do I know it won't become another temp.in the future? or is still an on going thing? Yes he told me about it I didn't catch him so praise him for it! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I keep thinking it's like stealing why do it once if you never OW get caught? Come on! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Also My biggest question is how do I know the difference between his wanting to work this out being because he Luvs me <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> verses not wanting to part w/ his wallet <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />& face his parents disappointment?

By the way we were only separated for 10 day's of the 4months this took place & he & she both (yes I just HAD to talk to her too) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> have informed me I am a lousy lay, great! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />(& i admit i don't get around he was my 3rd)any way he say's she was just a piece of *** but in separate conversation tells me in order for sex to be good there has to be love & an emotional connection! HELP ME PLEASE!!!!

Breathe Jen. You can get through this.

It is possible to have a loving trusting relationship with your Husband again.

Start reading the FAQ's on this site - start with the Basic Concepts and the Infidelity ones (linked in my sig below)

Order the books "Surviving an Affair" and "His Needs, Her Needs" from this site.

There is life after this and after you get over your initial shock.

Welcome to the club none of us wanted to join - that of a Betrayed Spouse.

What about STD'S?

Definitely get tested for everything immediately. Your Husband must get tested too. Clearly as it all happened some years ago, the usual precautions of avoiding SF until this is done don't apply! But you won't be feeling much like meeting this need for a while anyway I suspect.

I know you are very angry. We all felt that way when we first discovered the person who should love and protect us has betrayed us. But you can come through this with a better marriage than you have ever had. Even better than you dreamed possible.

Stay calm.