Good morning everyone,

How is everyone doing this morning? I hope you all had a great night.

My night was fine. I tossed and turned a little, but overall it was good. Soon, I didn't get to watch 24 last night, had company show up at 8:45 and stayed until 10:30. I'll try to catch it next week.

Still haven't heard from Thankful.

Good morning Tired. I, too, missed 24. I still didn't feel good when I got home yesterday, ended up falling asleep around 8:00. I still don't feel good this morning. So, I don't think it was the nicotine rush that made me feel bad. Maybe I'm taking too much of the AD's. I think I should drop it back down to the 50mg, instead of the 100. I think I'm going to stick with it a couple more days and see, if I'm still feeling "strange" then I'll go back down on the dosage. I'm not what you'd call "sick". I just don't feel right. Kind of dizzy and everything seems like it's a dream. I tried to explain it to H last night but he doesn't understand what I'm trying to tell him.

So, you had company last night? I haven't had company in...well dang it...since I've been married I've never had company. I think that's very strange. I haven't had company over to my house in five years. It's funny now that I say it to myself, where the heck have I been? Who goes five years and NEVER has anyone over to their house?

When you have company over does Sam mind? Does he stay near you or does he play with the company?

Well, I wonder about Thankful. Maybe we'll hear from her today.

Take care of yourself Soon. You might consider calling your doctor about the AD dosage and your not feeling well. Why can't your H not understand what you're saying? I know as a STB former H, sometimes we can't understand anything and sometimes we don't try.

My company was a female friend (friend only) and it was fun. We just sat and talked and laughed. Sam loves to have company over. He usually tries to put on a show, going over to his toy box and dragging out every old toy he has. His toys are terrible, old stuffed animals and stuff, but he parades them around like they are gold. He loves to play with whoever is over, like they actually came to visit him.

How come you haven't had anyone over in 5 years? Too busy? Does your H not like company? I know we never had people over much. I guess we all get so busy with work and kids that we just don't find the time. It's a shame too. Ok, happy stuff again today.

Yeah, I'm going to ask the Dr. about this "strange" feeling. I have to make another appt anyway, he only gave me samples to start out with to see how I'd do with them and he told me I'd need to come back in and then he'd write me that script (ofcourse he needs another co-pay too). I am going to do that today, I have to, cause I'm about to run out of the samples.

Female friend huh? LOL. Just joking. Is it the same female friend that showered you with gifts? How is that situation anyway? I know you were kinda wondering if she had other intentions besides the "making her jealous" thing.

Aren't dogs funny. They are just like children. Well, house dogs are that way. My dogs, who stay outside, well there just dogs. Except for one, he's the one that I picked out of the litter when H and started dating. I named him James Earl. And he's very loving. But the rest of our dogs are just dogs. They eat, poop, bark and sleep. That's bout it.

I don't know why we never had company. My H never really liked company. And like I said before, he never liked any of my friends really. And I don't really know any of his friends. If we hung out with anyone it was always his family. I never liked that either. I mean, every once in a while was ok. But if we went to the movies, his bro and sisnlaw had to go. If we went out to eat, they had to go. If we went to visit anyone, it was them. It got old. I would have rather spent time with him alone, not with them. Every single time.

Yes, it's the same friend. She has made it clear that I could go as far with this as I wanted, but I have subtly got the message through that we are just friends and that I am still in love with my W. She is a very nice person and I'm glad to have her to talk to. I just hope that she doesn't try to take it farther.

It's sad that you guys had no mutual friends outside the family. I agree, family is nice some of the time, but not in excess. We had a few couples that we mutually liked. It is nice to be able to hang out with other people to laugh and share stories.

She told you that! Did that make you feel uncomfortable? But it is good that you were able to get it through to her that you weren't interested in any more than being just friends, and she understands that. Since you made that clear to her, I doubt she'll try to take it any further. Right now anyway.

I'm so bored here today. The weather is ugly. It's cold. Work is slow. And I'm hungry. But I'm not going to complain any. No, not me...no way will I complain.

How is your day going so far?

Well, she didn't say that in so many words, but the message was clear. Just little hints, like she might say "I could stay here and talk to you forever" and stuff like that. I never made comments related to she and I, just told her about another woman who was interested in me, and that I could never be interested in another woman until I get over my STBXW. And that's true, I can't even cheat on her memory right now. She was my true love, and I worshipped her.

Sorry you're bored. The weather here is ugly too, gray, cold. Hungry huh? What's for lunch?

My day is going ok. I'm pretty busy today. I do a lot of drafting on AutoCad, so I draw awhile, then check this board for a little while.

How are the kids?

I am on the South Beach Diet. I don't even know what I'm eating today. I just grabbed something from the freezer. Well, I should say that I do the south beach diet for lunch. For supper, I do the "whatever is in the cabinets to fix for supper" diet.

The kids are ok. I let them stay overnight at my parents house last night. Since I didn't feel good I just let them stay there, and I don't like driving in the bad weather either and their house is 45 min away. I drive them up there every morning, sometimes I pick them up down there and sometimes my mom will meet me halfway. People think I'm crazy for doing that, driving all that way. But it's still cheaper than daycare and I know that they are being well taken care of there. The only thing I don't like about it is having to get up so dad gummed early to drive em up there. But, it's worth it. And when I move, I'll just live the next ridge over from my parents so I wont have to get up so early.

How many women you got chasing you anyway? Sounds like when you do get to the point where you'll be comfortable dating, you'll have lots to choose from. I know you don't even want to think about that right now. I'll hush.

Well, shat far...I wish Thankful would let us know what is going on.

Agreed about Thankful. Check in sweetheart, or your going to have two worried posters on your case.

I found the D diet to be very effective in weight loss. Not a good way to do it though. Watch out for the AD's, as most people tend to gain weight on them. I usually eat lunch but often don't bother with dinner. I don't have any food at home, and just don't feel like cooking if I did.

I think it's good that kids can stay with your parents. I know the drive is tough, but the peace of mind is priceless.

Not many women chasing me. Just a few. I'm so tempted to try to find one to cover up the pain, but that wouldn't be right for anyone. Also, as a man, I'm so visually stimulated and my STBXW is 40 but looks like 25. She is very beautiful, and I don't want to get in a situation where I'm trying to out-do her. That would be impossible. I just want to be friends with someone, and let it progress from there.

Your children are both boys, right?

The D diet is the best of all. And no, it's not the way to do it. But the D diet is not intentional, it just happens. Gain weight? Oh no, I can't do that. I'm just now losing weight and I'm feeling really good about it. I was never fat by any means, just needed to exercise since the birth of the last. But I absoluttely HATE exercise. I enjoy it if I have someone to do it with, but I don't. And I don't have a lot of time either. I figure once I move out I'll have plenty more time. And then I'll start. I have a treadmill, but I'd rather walk outside. And there's no where around here to do that. When I move, there will be. And I can take the boys and they can play while I walk.

I have a feeling that once I move out I'll be losing more weight. It's difficult to cook a meal just for me, and ofcourse I'll feed the boys...but I won't be cooking large meals like I do now.

You say that you are tempted. Are you sure that it would be to cover up the pain? I mean, I'm not even tempted. The thought of dating makes me sick to my stomach. But I do agree that you should not date until after the D is final, even if you were really interested in someone, it's more important to keep your vows. And that's the way to start a relationship anyway, as friends.

Yes, both of my angels are boys. They are so different from each other...like night and day.

I have a treadmill, but haven't walked since W moved out. I also like to woodwork, but haven't done much of that either. Maybe after D is final, I will get back into it some more.

The reason I said that is I'm tempted to try to cover the pain, not if finding someone new. That is why I won't do it. The thought of dating makes me sick too. I won't ever violate my vows. I would like to find someone who I have an attraction to, and just be friends for a while, and let it go from there. My current female friend is very nice, but I have no attraction to her. I hope we remain friends, but that is all it will ever be.

I'm the oldest of 3 boys in my family. I know about brothers. We are all somewhat different. It is odd, raised in the same environment how those differences occur.

It's funny, well not really funny, but I have noticed that since we decided that D would be best. I don't really want to do anything that I really love doing. I even thought about quitting the band. I just have no interest. Why is that really?

I have three brothers. I am the youngest. But there is a big age difference in us all. My youngest brother is eight years older than I am.

My oldest son is dark skinned with dark eyes and dark hair. The baby is fair skinned, with blonde hair and blue eyes. And their personalitites are completely different. The oldest, when he was a baby he'd be tempted to get into something, but he usually didn't. And IF he did, all I'd have to do is say no, and he'd quit.

The baby, different story. He's into EVERYTHING. He is good about listenening to me though when I tell him no.

I love them so much. I look at them, and wonder how on earth I will be able to make it the days that my H will have them. They are my life. Everything I do, is for them. I don't think that my H will miss them when I have them. I mean, he'll miss them. But they are not his life. I feed them, clothe them, drive them to my parents house, get up with them during the night. Very seldom does he do this. And it's not that I don't want to give him credit, or make it sound like he NEVER does anything. But I'm just telling the truth, when it comes to our children...I do most of the work. And I don't mind, I love it. So for my H, not having them on certain days during the week I believe will be a relief for him because he can do whatever he wants. Me, on the other hand, would rather have them with me all the time becuase all I care about is them. Doing things with them, is what I want.

Sorry, had to get that off my chest.

Soon, how are your boys different?

Other than their features, the oldest is very shy around people. The baby, he just takes off running whenever I put him down. The oldest will get quiet and stick his head between my legs to hide.

The oldest never ran off, he might go a little ways...but all I'd have to do is say "bye, I'm leaving" and here he'd come a runnin. The baby, you put him down and he's GONE. And just keeps going. Laughing the whole way.

The oldest eats nothing but chicken nuggets, salad, weiners, pizza and corn. Oh yeah, he will eat a hamburger patty if you tell him it is a "crabby patty".

The baby, I don't know of anything he doesn't like. He eats everything. I mean, there have been days when my mom has called saying that she's afraid his belly is going to burst. It's so funny.

If you like funny videos, go to killsometime.com

On the first page there is a compilation of Bill Dance bloopers (it's not long at all). Watch it, it's hilarious.

There's also one called, nunchuck pro. It's pretty funny too. It's on page 37 I think.

I don't know why I'm telling you this.

That's funny about your boys. The oldest is like my son, shy and quiet. The baby sounds like a character. I think your little one would get along with Sam well. He's a free spirit also and will go where his nose leads him.

My son will turn 16 this weekend. I am giving him my truck and that is why I bought a new one. It will be weird seeing him drive back to his Mom's house on Sunday evening.

I have seen those videos. They are hilarious. Have you ever seen the Saturday Night Live video with Robert Dinero doing the "Terrorist Alert"? It is funny too. I may have it here somewhere.

I haven't seen that one. If you find it, I'd like to see it.

I love SNL. But I like the older ones better. The years with Chris Farley were good ones too. I still watch it every now and then. Will Farrell is one of my favorites. Sometimes they play re-runs of the older ones and I just laugh my [censored] off. Sometimes they still do the celebrity jeopardy with Sean Connery, those funny too
Sean: "I'll take "The Rapist" for $500
Host (can't remember his name): "That's Therapist, Sean, Therapist.

I seen one the other day on kill some time with the guy who plays Earl on SNL, doing a home improvement show skit...Caulk in you Crack. funny.

Does your son know that he's getting a truck?

If I can find it, I'll email it to you. We have the same taste in comedy. I love Will Farrell. The Spartan Cheerleader skits were some of my favorites. Also like the Jeopardy skits with Connery. I remember one category was "The Pen Is Mightier".

Caulk in your Crack. That's hilarious. I also love the political skits. Daryl Hammond did a wonderful Bill Clinton and Farrell does a great W. Dana Carvey doing Ross Perot still has me laughing.

Yeah, my son knows he is getting a truck. He will do fine I think. He's a real good student and very responsible, so hopefully we won't have any problems. It will be nice, because he's into so many activities, someone is always having to give him a ride here or there. Now he can drive himself.

Have you seen the movie "Old School" with Will Farrell?

Yes, loved it. I just sent you 4 emails. Two with funny videos. I hope they make you smile. Two power point shows. The powerpoints are good. One has some sad pics, but very good. The bag pipes and flutes make it even better. Hope you like them. Let me know, ok?