sf, please drop this idea that you know more than anyone else in the world. The pros on this site have gone through what you are only just beginning and they've done it successfully. You have no support for what you're saying and those who have recovered do. You must accept the logic, sj.

wow, you don't give up...but I'm tired of you attacking me so I will ignore you. This thread is for habiba to post.

sfjaj, do you imagine that Habiba came here to learn your very own, biased, inexperienced opinion about adultery [2 weeks into recovery] or do you think maybe she came here to learn about MARRIAGE BUILDERS and get the help she needs?

Did you see the sign on the door when you came in?

The bad advice you have so liberally spread on this forum is poison and contradicts MB principles. This is WHY you find yourself at such odds with so many people here. You are HARMING newcomers, not helping them.

Ignore, we disagree. I will continue to talk to habiba

maybe habiba hasn't been back because she doesn't want to talk to YOU

Not only is your behavior harming newcomers, sfjaj, it is also harming anyone here who wants to learn.

...and today was probably the day the lightbulb was going to go off in my FWH, too. That sucks!

No one is attacking YOU, sj. We're attacking the incorrect ideas you keep throwing out here. When will you admit you have no basis for what you're saying?

Ignore, we disagree. I will continue posting to habiba

Second request.............

sfjaj,

Please REread the TOS and MB policy again. And the intro to the Discussion Forums where it asks you to be familiar with the MB Concepts PRIOR to posting on the forums.

THIS IS A SUPPORT forum for those rebuilding their marriage using Marriage Builder Concepts.

If you find yourself unable to support those trying to do so, PLEASE find a forum that better suits your needs and goals.

sfjaj...

As long as you continue to contradict the principles here, NONE of us will stop posting to you or about you...don't you get it? We are putting up a united front against the poison that you are attempting to spread here...We will continue on in support of the principles set forth by the owners of this site...Why? Because they work...

Mrs. W

Again, why are the others who clearly demonstrate disrespect to me allowed to do so? That is also clearly stated in the policies, but I have watched others be blatantly disrespectful to posters, such as 2B, and they are allowed to continue. This is my second request for a response

If you'd like to discuss this any further, you know my email address.

There are people on these forums trying desperately to save their marriages. The forums will NOT be interrupted any further!

We are not disrespecting you. We are standing together to support the MB principles. We contradict when you support other methods that go against the principles we so strongly believe in.

This is a Marriage Building website- IT IS NOT the mutual admiration ssociety of wayward spouses - nor is it for bitter betrayed spouses.

There have been several WS who say they are FWS who seem to have a huge amount of entitlement, seem to be living in the fog still.

MB can be a lighthouse to get thru the fog- but there have been some lately who seem to like being in the fog.

When a poster is very vocal in opposition to the MB principles, yes a lot of people will post in reponse- as the person becomes more and more defiant in expressing their views, the MB supporters seem to come out in full force to support what we belive in. You see, we have to do that so that new people will be able to see the truth in the posts and will know that the majority believe in the principles and will not be led astray by vocal folks who have no idea what they are talking about.

sfjaj, I see you as a very troubled woman.
You are like a loose canon ball tonight.

Does anyone besides me have a 'gut feeling' that sfjaj's husband does NOT know his daughter is fathered by OM?

That sfjaj and OM may stil be in contact?

That OM's wife has NOT been told of the affair OR of the child?

Because I have been reading these threads for several weeks
and that is what my intuition is telling me.

No offense, sfjaj, you want to be accepted on these forums as doing the right thing so you might have stretched the truth.

Do you know what I would sure like to see?
You start a thread that is 100% honest that says:
"HELP ME my life is a mess and I need help."

And do you know what I think?
The sarcastic remarks would stop and MB friends would rally
to help you.

When you ruffle peoples feathers, it is only natural that they will react. Just as you react when someone makes fun or jeers at you.

I will be watching for your next thread, this time about you, not someone else.

People really do care and would like to see you make good choices in your life from now on.

Ron

And why were you allowed to lump all BS's together as being "bitter"? Was THAT respectful?

If you are feeling victimized here, why do you subject yourself to it?

You know what? I have only had a handful of people care at all about me; most would like to believe that I'm not worth much of anything and I suppose they're correct in their belief. What do you want to hear? Do you want to hear that I know I'm worthless and have hurt the he!! out of my family? Yes, yes, and yes. I don't care what you think of what I say. Whether you believe me or not is irrelevant to me because, the truth is, most of you would be happy tomorrow if I fell off the face of the earth and just left all of you alone.

I wish I could do that, but my children rely on me. Do you want to know that I hate myself and what I've done? yes, i do. Okay, yes, there was contact with the OM after his W found out. I had to tell my H, even though I didn't initiate the stupid contact. My H and I have had to consult an attorney about the OC because we don't want to ruin her life anymore than I already have. My H tells me he wants to raise the OC and save our M, but our M is dangling by a thread.

Is that what everyone wants to know? That I wish I could just fall off the planet because it all hurts so badly. I don't expect sympathy, don't deserve it but I'm not want to display every shi!!y detail during this time. It's gut-wrenching experience, and I hate my life, I hate myself. Hopefully, that satisfies most of you

I wish you could see that the REASON you've been getting so much attention today (and other days, too) is BECAUSE the people here care.



You are luckier than most! You have a rare opportunity here!!!

You can do this! You've tried talking. BE STILL! Sit back and listen, read and study for a little while.

sfjaj...

That was honest...that is your truth...that is what we CAN help you with *if* you want to help yourself...MB Principles do work...

No one will jab you when you are that honest...is that how you plan to continue here? Are you ready to drop the defenses and deal with your issues? You will be surprised by how much people here would gladly help you...but it is up to you...

Mrs. W

You know, S, it's not because people don't care, or because you're a WS. Right now, it's your attitude of defensivness and arrogance, that causes the negative responses you are receiving.

When you first came here, I actually respected the fact that you were reaching out for help, and I felt compassion for you.

But after seeing that "Bitter" comment come out on the BS's, well yeah, that caused a negative feeling, coming from someone who is obviously feeling a great amount of bitterness of their very own.

I don't need you to air all of your dirty laundry, but a little humbleness would be nice. We're very capable of caring for someone who wants help. It's all in the approach.

Maybe we could start over again, and see where it takes it, this time.

Good Luck to you.

Yes! That is exactly what you need to post- then when you say those things, people will want to help you- when you come on acting all arrogant holier than thou, yeah we strike back.

Is this the real you? I hope so.

If it is, we are all here to help you. Even those of us who are the BS.

You know you spent hours here today- you had to to post that many times. How much effort did you make with your husband today?

Have you studied his emotional needs? Do you know what he needs from you?

Are you seeing a counselor? I know you don't want anyone to know, but a counselor might be a good thing. Maybe even your pastor.

Most all of us come here with our marriages hanging by a thread. By posting our questions and listening and learning, by studying the materials here and in the books, by seeing a pro-marriage counselor, we turn that around- and before long that thread has turned into a cord that is much stronger. Yours can, too.

Be still.

Listen to your husband, listen to those that have walked before you- Mrs. W, FF, Dorry. They are all FWS who have walked where you walk and who have turned their lives around.

Be still.