Annie

Good morning. I can feel your pain. Hard to believe that someone can profess their love for you and hurt you so much.

My FWW still has not committed to Radical Honesty. My D Day was over two and a half years ago.

What you are feeling is normal. I can tell you this everytime I hit a trigger It takes me back to the fact she won't be honest with me. I resent the he11 out of it.

My FWW does the cancling thing too. I don't want to go there if we are not getting along etc. I realize this is her way of putting it back on me. I have a choice play nice, which means drop it, or she punishes me.

He cannot have his cake and eat it too. Of course he thinks he was in love with her don't they all. Infatuation is different then love.

Why can't he have two women, honestly thats the dumbest question I have ever heard. I would ask him if he wouldn't mind if you picked up a guy on the side then. Have one of those new fangled open marriages. BTW the answer will be "fine I don't care" or "do what you want". It won't be the honest "****** no".

I hope this helps a little.

It does help. Thank you. My only hope is that since he has never had to live his life without me, maybe that is the only thing that will make him decide for sure what it is that he wants. It has come to a point that he can either commit to me totally or go. If he still carries strong feelings for her, then so be it. He is free to go completely out of my life, and let me move forward, finally.

It hurts like ****** to say that but no more than it hurts to think he loves another woman. He has mentioned there are many other women out there for him, duh??, maybe that is part of this, we've been together since we were 16 (30 Years) and he needs more action? He is very handsome and charming and has always been so (one of the very reasons I married him).

He called earlier just wanting to forget it; he just doesn't understand that it is never forgotten. I could move on if I knew he was with me; now that I know he's not, I realize it will never go away. He said we'll talk tonight...

Is your M really good now and can you live w/o the RA? I don't think I can.