yeah im doing better 2 nite, im just hoping she honors her responsabilities to me since she is about to get a big fat check from all this photography stuff.

Hey saenz,
How are you doing today? Are you any better? Tonight we have counseling. I hope it brings my spirits up. I hate where I am at right now. I updated on my other thread if you want to check it out.

--CO

yeah i went and posted

hey bro...i got ur input on the stuff i wrote...just shows you, that no matter what stage of this "vida loca" your in...affairs really mess up peoples lives...

as far as money....i would open your own account and not share your money with her....i did that...... hoping to snap my X out of her fog...well.....it did....

she went out and got a JOB!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

i guess she showed me!! eh??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

hang in there....

talk 2 ya L8R

ok got a problem:

how do wash white clothing as far as bleach goes "1st time bachlor here" where do i pour it and do i need to buy regular bleach or what.

and i having a in the middle kinda day. got a lot of house work done last nite man did the night fly by. 2 day i start the yard work thats at least 2 to 3 weeks of work. yeah

also going to look into working out at a boxing gym to loose the rest of the little belly i have left. if i can afford it.

Hey saenz,

I can help you with any housework problems you have since I have been doing everything since I've been married.

As far as the bleach goes I buy Clorox. I'm sure the no-name brands work fine too.

My washer has a little "compartment" that says bleach. And I put about 1/2 cup in right after I put the wash in and start the washer. If it doesn't have a "compartment" I would just put it under the running water when the washing machine is filling up in the beginning. Make sure not to get the bleach on anything that isn't white. Wash your hands really good when you're done.

I always do housework to keep me busy. It keeps my mind off things and it relieves stress for me. Some people run, walk, etc., I do housework. My husband always knows when I am really down b/c I will do housework forever.

The boxing gym will also do you good and help keep your mind off things too. Sounds like fun. I hope you have a good day today.

--CO

cc thank you, i see things are went well for you last nite thats cool. good for you and yours.

it doesn't bother you if your H was to read your thread about your aspect of the marriage?

i thought about telling my W to go on MB to read my threads but i don't know what reaction i would get from her. knowing her though she would get pissed cause i'm shareing w/ you guys our problems instead of her seeing that i was trying to help our marriage become stronger and that i loved her and was willing to do anything for our marriage to work but now i don't think it mattters.

being that shes done all the things shes done no why in ****** i would ever get back w/ her now, so sad cause i know i love her more now than ever before. to litttle to late on both our parts.

i just can't wait to turn my little house into my ultamate 31, 4, & 3 yr old bacholer pad fully equipped w/ a chocolete milk keg for the boys and zephyhills water cooler 4 myself oh yeaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

i'm living the life....

may of had abreak though w/ W she asked if i wanted to go to my SD graduation w/ her next month, she can only get 2 tickets i asked her why she wasn't taking her mother or her biological dad she told me that i trump both of them. huh made me feel good for once.

there may be hope for her oneday....

thats good....just remember that your not the SAME guy you were 3 weeks ago (when i was slappin you around)!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

id go........but take moment by moment and just keep it in perspective...be fun...be happy....be the "new" guy you are becoming and above all.....DONT BE NEEDYYYYYY!!!!

and dont forget...you have alot of POWER over your marriage and life!!

i hope it works out good!!

saenz,

Glad to hear about your W. Just go and have a good time. Don't try too hard or you'll push her away. Like sturgis05 said, don't be needy. Show her how independant you are!!

I'm not really concerned if my H reads my threads. I told him not to, but it doesn't make any difference to me. He knows exactly what I am going through and I have nothing to hide.

Got a good night's sleep last night....went to bed around 6:30. Can you believe that? Woke up today at 7:15. I really needed it after last week. My work at week has been really busy too.

--CO

good for you and your sleep. yeah im going to go and enjoy watching my little girl walk acroos that stage 4 the last time she'll be in 6th grade next year.

as for W i not even interstead in talking relationship w/ being that i dont want one w/ her anymore i just hope to oneday i can allow myself to look at her w/ out thinking of what shes done to my family.

any hoo i cant wait to go to C today at 3.

and by the way did ya read what i posted on your H post.

Wow, 6th grade. How old were you when she was born?

So seems that you have your mind pretty made up about the relationship. Remember to stay strong and follow your heart.

Hope C goes well. We are planning to get into IC. We both have to work on ourselves before we work on our M.

Yes, I read what you posted on my H's thread. Thanks for the compliment <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

well my D is from my W 1st marriage shes just been w/ me sinces she was about 4 so hence the shes mine thing.

W was just here at my house i work from home on fri i ahd the website open i was hoping she seen it i would like it she came on to see what i've been posting.

funny that we've been apart for a month now but yet she still depends on me for alot especially when it comes to money she can't save a penny if her life depended on it.
this weekend will be the last one i will support her i need to cut her off to show her that my bank account is now mine and not ours.

That is great that you consider your W's D yours. That shows a lot of the type of person you are.

What is your W going to do if you get divorced? How is she going to support herself if she keeps depending on you? I think you should open your own acct. ASAP. In Nov. when I found out my H was cheating on me that was the first thing I did was open up my own acct. I have been supporting him financially for 4 years and that was the first thing I wanted to take away from him. I still have my own acct. to this day.

You have given enough of your self already. It is time for you to start focusing on yourself and let her see what it's like to not be able to depend on you.

You and I will make it through this together!!

--CO

yeah i opened my own acc two weeks ago. as soon as shes moves out that will be a god sent. like i said in my earlier post im looking foward to having my house to myself even though it seems empty from time to time.

asa far as whats shes going to do i dont know but from seeing hows shes been w/ money shes not going to make it on her own i see her moving in the very 1st person she starts dating. i pitty that guy cause my 2 little ones are menases when they're together not to mention her older 2 are like oil and water when im not around. i can't wait till she has all 4 of them to herself shes going to flip.

email i just sent to W what do you guys and gals think go easy.

What time are you going to be here cause I know you don't want them around me to much, and I don't know why. If its cause your afraid IM going to try to get them to tell you to come back then you shouldn't worry about that.

I will never want you back ever again. You have hurt me in the worst possible way you could imagine. not once but twice so need to worry about that ever again.

All I want is to move past you, I've cried my last tear for you a week or 2 ago you are no longer worth any more of them. I'll save the rest of them 4 sum 1 who deserves them sum 1 who will value me and my kids for what we are worth and not throw us away so quick and easily like you have. like I said before I wish you the best in life but I hope you never find happiness cause selfish people like you don't deserve to be loved by someone like me.

i really do feel sorry for you cause we could of had something great if you would of just choose to talk to as a wife rather than to do what you did. you think i couldn't change or that i would of just went back to normal in a month or so like before. but you are wrong cause i would of done anything to keep you at my side along w/ my 4 kids but instead like a selfish person normally does they only think of themselves. so don't worry about me i see it in your eyes a couple of times its not sorrow in my eyes you see when i look at you its "how could you do that to our family." like yesterday.

sorry, to go off i just need to get that off my chest cause of the look you gave me yesterday. so believe me when i tell you when i think of you now i just pity you. however always will be here for my 4 KIDS unless you don't allow me to be like you have been lately. rather intentionally or not. i will not give up on them like OTHER people have done.

even though IM still very hurt w/ you, i would like you to know like I've said before you can count on me for ANYTHING just to show you IM no the man you thought i was so i will be here for you not matter what it is. i.e. sum 1 to talk to, money for all 5 of you, if you need a hug even though right now you are not allowed to have any :-) i will always be here 4 you and my 4 kids.

well, only time will tell to see how she handles the children.

IMHO, I thought your e-mail was a little harsh. To me it sounds like you are desperate (which I really don't believe you are). It sounds like you are really, really bitter. And I know you are, but you really shouldn't show it to her. The whole e-mail was putting her down. I know she deserves to be put down, but I don't feel it was the best approach. Did you send it yet? I think this e-mail will make her very, very angry with you. It totally bashes her over and over again. She will read that and think, "This is why I don't want to be with him."

Let me just say I realize you and I think alike, and I probably would have written something very similar. I am just as bitter as you. But that is why you need to get an "outside" opinion before you go writing things like this.

I hope I helped.

--CO

yeah i sent it already her only responce was: "don't ever accuse me of something like that in regards to my kids. you have no idea".

the mom came out of her, note no other responce to anything else i typed.

She sounds upset. I hope it doesn't start an argument between you two. You were just starting to be civil with eachother. Are you going to respond back? I would suggest you don't. Did you go to C already? You said you were going at 3. How did it go?

--CO

no i din't responed and no i didnt go to C she asked me if i could go get the older 2 kids from school and would rather be w/ them do to that i havn't spent anytime w/ them in the last 2 weeks.

i dont think im bitter, i know im hurt, that my love wasn't
good enough or that my non-action of love wasn't ever there do you get what i mean. that's what hurts.