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#1630488 04/06/06 11:28 AM
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sfjaj, I am very concerned for you. You seem to be spending a lot of time and energy calling people out on their posting styles and "meanness" instead of focusing on healing yourself and your marriage. I want you to read the below quote that Patriot92 wrote about himself recently:
Quote
Ok... so I have read the stuff around here. I even used to post pretty regularly. My specialty was pissing off people with 'debate' threads. Calling people out over their mean styles of posting or over them saying something I did not agree with at all, after I thought I had a little MB under my belt. Then it got to a point that my wife thought I was spending too much time posting and reading and not any with her... thus hindering recovery. I remember getting in trouble for wasting yet another night on the computer posting when I could have done something with her to help her heal. More on that issue in a moment... I read ahead. I know I am screwed.
Read it carefully because this is what I believe you are doing. You are using avoidance tactics to face your own issues within yourself and your M. We WANT to help you. If you don't like someone's posting style that is fine. Just ignore them. Please do not jump on threads of new WS's and tell them to ignore posters. You cannot predict whose words will get through. You cannot predict whose style will fit a new poster. It is disrespectful and pompous attitude that you go around telling people to ignore other posters. Please let them discern the information for themselves.

Now.. how are things with you and your H? How is withdrawl going? Are you maintaining NC? Do you still miss the OM? Have you identified the reasons the A happened? Let's get you back on track, ok?


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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^^


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
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FF

YOU've got mail

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Pep

Pepperband #1630491 04/06/06 01:01 PM
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back atcha


Faith

me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
Joined: Jan 2006
Posts: 212
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In my best AOL voice, "You've got...

...snails!"

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Sry, always wanted to say that.

FN


Divorced April 26 2007...

REMARRIED to a wonderful woman October 13, 2012!
FourthNail #1630493 04/06/06 01:21 PM
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BWHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Pepperband #1630494 04/06/06 01:29 PM
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faithful, I agree... I am focusing on our M and we are in MC. On the contrary, I believe others have debated my posting style because they don't agree with me

Pepperband #1630495 04/06/06 01:37 PM
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Quote
FF

YOU've got mail

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Pep


if you have something mean to say to me... say it to my face

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

patriot92 #1630496 04/06/06 02:00 PM
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Quote
faithful, I agree... I am focusing on our M and we are in MC. On the contrary, I believe others have debated my posting style because they don't agree with me


Really? How, exactly, has your focus *here* been on your marriage?

And yes, of course, we have debated you because we don't agree with you...pretty obvious...what you post is in direct opposition to MB principles...If we agreed with you, why would there be a need for debate?

Quote
sadandconfused, you are correct. Many here are very judgmental and not actually interested in being helpful. But, once you wade beyond the self-righteous attitudes, there is helpful advice in some of the links. I, for one, understand your situation and believe that there is more than one pathway to healing in a M. Of course, an A has to be over first, but, beyond that, we should be encouraging to one another. I am beginning another thread to another WS who is having difficulty. Please feel free to post there...


Hmmmm...who are these "posters" that give "helpful advice"? What was their "helpful advice", and how did you use it in your situation? Please provide practical examples...THAT would be helpful...


And since you didn't answer any of these questions when I asked them earlier, I am posting them again...

How is posting advice to others helping YOU with YOUR situation? How is it helping to right YOUR wrongs? How is YOUR marriage improving because of this type of involvement here? How are YOU changing? How is any of this helping YOUR husband with his pain? Pain that YOU caused, based solely on YOUR SELFISH CHOICE to have an A...doesn't matter what the condition of the marriage was before...the A was still YOUR SELFISH CHOICE...Your husband had NO say in that CHOICE, YOU did NOT consult him...What is YOUR payoff in going head to head with others here?

I already know the answers to those questions...the real question is, do YOU?


Mrs. W


P.S. Hey, FF & Pep...I want mail or to be a snail or whatever...NO FAIR...LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

MrsWondering #1630497 04/06/06 02:03 PM
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Mrs. W, you should really take the time to read my other posts before you throw a tantrum...Also, did you realize you are repeating yourself? I learn each time I post from others, and, as I write out my feelings, I learn. Also my H has done much reading here and believes that most posting here are very angry people not over their own situations yet. So he will not post any more here, did once


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