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Joined: Jul 2005
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There's a great feature at MB..it's the ignore feature.
To Mimi, Frank, eav, smolina, Mrs W or anyone else who finds my posts unacceptable, use it. -jph

~emphasis mine

JPH...

I don't have a problem with your posts, nor am I a "jph hater", I'm really not even that familiar with you to be honest...Now, I do stand by what Mr. W posted last night if that is why you chose to name me in the above quote...So, yes, I do think that it is WAY OVER the top to say to any BS...

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No wonder your wife found another -jph

I think that you may even agree that the context does not matter at all when it comes to telling anyone that they deserved to be cheated on...to me, that is even worse than calling a BS "bitter", and I think that that is a pretty low blow...Now, just because I think that your above quote was crossing the line, does not mean that I don't like you or any of the other parts of your posts...I truly have no problem with you at all...I'm sure that you said what you did in anger, and probably also believe it was harsh in hindsight...if not, then that's okay too...we don't have to agree...I can still respect you and even gain from other posts of yours...

The only other reason that I could possibly imagine that you would have named me is because something I said in another post was quoted on "the other thread"...here's that quote...

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*IF* I wasn't a FWW who has seen very clearly what you most certainly have not, and that is...THE GRACE, THE GENTLE STRENGTH, THE SELFLESSNESS, THE LOYALTY, THE HEROISM, THE TRUE AND DEEP LOVE of a BS in Plan A...I have said many times on this site, that I believe that this is the closest match to the love of Christ that a human will ever be able to emulate here... you have NO idea what THAT is like...I've seen it up close...it is VERY REAL in my life...it would AWE you, as it would anyone...Mr. W takes my breath away with the way that he loves me now and with the way he loved me even then...in the face of my very cruel betrayal of him...You have NO IDEA the kind of respect and admiration that I have for him because of the way he did what he did...what my husband did, and what Dazed is doing, IS the very definition of AMAZING GRACE... Mrs. W

Now, I'm not sure how you would think that I was a "jph hater" or any other kind of "hater" based on that...but I would like to clarify just in case...I said that specifically to ONE poster on that thread, because his advice SEEMS to always be "skip Plan A entirely...immediately go to Plan B"...and I know that you don't feel that way, nor do JP or LM to my knowledge(both of whom I do like and respect, btw)...I think that we all agree that Plan A has a time limit...why would there even be a Plan B if that weren't the case, right?

Anyway, JPH, I just wanted to clear that up...I have absolutely no dislike, disrespect or anything negative for you at all...hey, we just got back from Florida today, I haven't even completely read "the other thread"...I'm not even going to, in fact...I just wanted to make sure that "we're cool"...Are we? Feel free to email me if you'd like...

Mrs. W

***HUGE DISCLAIMER***...I did not start this thread to stir up anything at all...I do not wish to argue about ANYTHING...JustUss, please forgive me for even starting this thread, I did not have any other way to contact JPH, and I didn't want any ill feelings floating around, I hope that you will understand...I will certainly understand if you choose to lock this immediately...


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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As I said in my original post, my eyesight is horrible. I read it to be Mrs. W.

I still stand by my post. If Pleasehelp (Frank) talked to his wife they way he talked to me and others, no wonder she left. That is ABUSE plain and simple and the reason why I had enough from my husband. You kick a dog long enough and eventually he'll leave..some humans don't have the sense a poor dog has.

I remember Frank from his original posts and thought him to be a sweet and kind man. His loving care of his daughter was admirable but as Dazed, he allowed to her go into harms way. I think that's why Frank's off the charts support of him garnered his reaction when challenged. Frank was told time after time to not let that child be around om but he ignored the advice.

Go back and read what Frank and smolina posted and then you'll understand my reaction.

Some don't want to hear that Plan A can be dangerous. Staying in an unhealthy relationship is more comfortable than getting out and anyone who might suggest that becomes the enemy. Just as the addict becomes enraged when confronted with the truth of their addiction.

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Um Okay...however, leaving is different than "finding another" before leaving...Wouldn't you agree?

Still "wondering" if "we're cool"...Mr. W doesn't harbor ill will towards you either, btw...

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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please forgive my intrusion, but I also feel a need to clarify...

Please Help (frank) is NOT the Frank you seem to think he is, JPH....he is not FrankD whose daughter's name is megan and whose wife worked at McD's...and posted if I am correct, starting in 2004...

Please Help is an entirely different Frank....


just wanted to clarify that misconception....


hi mrs W. hope your vacation was wonderful!! welcome home!

Dylan


Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.
~~Buddha
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jph,

Just a point for you to consider. You don't know PH (Frank's) story. It is amazing and it is tragic at the same time. All the more because apparently his W has serious medical issues. He does KNOW how the MB system works and he did an amazing job with it, and yet...it was not enough. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

What you don't recognize yet is that most of the people here have been through an enormous amount of pain and suffering and calling them names or making statements like that is really counter productive. You may be mad at them (although you don't know them), you may be frustrated that they don't consider your input properly, but striking out emotionally as you did is not useful.

I don't know your story, but if it is anything like most here, and I mean no matter whether you are a BS or a WS, you could use friends like PH and Mr. W, and many of the very people you are annoyed with right now.

Consider that that they are here to receive help and some simply to provide it. Mr. and Mrs. W are simply her to provide it, so is Pepperband, MelodyLane, WAT, so many others. I know you don't realize this yet, but if you will take the time to post and speak with these people they WILL help you anyway they can. It is not the nature of this place to carry grudges, although it is true that some people will be able to resonate with you better than others.

So please consider that you do have an awful lot of power here. You can really and truely hurt people if you are not careful. PH knows it...I reminded him of it as I am suggesting it to you. Mrs. W knows it and that is why she is posting to you now.

There is lots to learn here, and I mean lots, that is why I am "just learning" after all of these years.

Please think about what I and Mrs. W said.

God Bless,

JL

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I wholeheartedly agree that "leaving" and "finding another" are totally different. Some people find it difficult to exist on their own.

I'm glad there's no ill will. I have been impressed with the generosity that you have expressed to GoodFather and others.

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I wholeheartedly agree that "leaving" and "finding another" are totally different. Some people find it difficult to exist on their own.

I'm glad there's no ill will. I have been impressed with the generosity that you have expressed to GoodFather and others.

Thank You Ma'am...I'm glad that you are here too!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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JL

Please point to my post where I called anyone a name. I think you're mistaken. I'm not here for help, I've been through the h*ll of adultery and back several times. I come here to help others who are walking through the mine field where I once tread. I think you need to go back JL and re-read the posts from Pleasehelp (Frank), smolina and me. I was trying my best to get Frank see that his assumptions of Lemon, Ihadenough and peachy were incorrect...that their intentions were only to help others. He was too ready to throw insults and accuse them of lying, coming from tow and being "evil." It was then that he and smolina lashed out at me saying how "others" at this site had complained about me and how emails sent where I was discussed.

You're also mistaken..I do remember Frank's situation..clearly.

Well, it's obvious I have nothing further to add to this site and my intentions are clearly not to hurt anyone. I may need "help" JL but the help I need will not be found here..for my needs are to give back..for God saw me through what only He and He alone could have carried me through...a h*ll that if were totally shared would shock the most hardened of posters. I leave it to you JL...

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JL

You're also mistaken..I do remember Frank's situation..clearly.

again, I direct you to my post above...

for clarification only....PleaseHelp is not the 'Frank' you are thinking of....


Please Help is one of a group of us 'original' posters from 1998/9....


Dylan


Words have the power to both destroy and heal. When words are both true and kind, they can change our world.
~~Buddha
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JPH,

Like I said before you and I and are like-minded in many ways. Thus, it would be very sad to me if you left. People like you are needed here on MB.

At the same time, and I have come to really appreciate this, people like JL and Mortarman, who are much more patient than us, are also needed. I know that JL had the best intention in mind when he posted to you. JL can be cerebral at times and often ask question or make comment to elicit some reflections on his intended subject part. I think that is what he was doing here.

So please do not leave this board, as I, along with many others on this board, learn and grow from what you have to share.

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jph,

I think you miss read what I was saying abit. The comment I was referring to was the one that Mrs. W mentioned about "no wonder his W left him" .

I am sorry you feel that you are not wanted, it was not my intention to imply that. But it was/is clear that you frustrated. Your exchange with Please Help and his exchange with others was not good. He knows it. Do you know it? If so, then act on your knowledge.

We all get frustrated here from time to time. It seems you have much to offer, please consider using it.

God Bless,

JL

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UVA...I agree...This is one place where the phase "It takes a village" applies...OK, and when I first got here I'll admit that I was "The Village Idiot" for a time...I figured somebody might point that out, so I thought I go ahead and get it out of the way... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />...Something that I have learned from JL aka Yoda (tee hee) is 'much value you will find from perspective, yeeesss'(said in the Master Jedi's voice of course-ha!) <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />!

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered

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Mrs. W,

My personal favorite is "Do or not do, there is no try". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> Mumbled in his best Yoda voice. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

JL

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O Wise One, you make me chuckle <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mrs. W


FWW ~ 47 ~ Me
FBH ~ 50 ~ MrWondering
DD ~ 17
Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered


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