I was reading an interesting book by Chip Ingram called “Love, Sex & Lasting Relationships”. I have a renewed hope for my M b/c I know now that my STBXWH feels genuine love for me and is only infatuated with MOW, now if our WS can realized this before it is too late, thought I’d share to give others hope, I believe it explains a lot, well for me anyways:

TWELVE TESTS OF LOVE

1. The Test of Time
Love benefits and grows through time; infatuation ebbs and diminishes with time.

2. The Test of Knowledge
Love grows out of an appraisal of all the known characteristics of the other person.

3. The Test of Focus
Genuine love is other-person centered. Infatuation is self-centered.

4. The Test of Singularity
Genuine love is focused on only one person. An infatuated individual may be “in love” with two or more persons simultaneously.

5. The Test of Security
Genuine love requires and fosters a sense of security and feelings of trust.

6. The Test of Work
An individual in love works for the other person, for his or her mutual benefit.

7. The Test of Problem Solving
A couple in love faces problems frankly and tries to solve them. Infatuated people tend to disregard or try to ignore problems.

8. The Test of Distance
Love knows the importance of distance. Infatuation imagines love to be intense closeness, 24/7, all the time.

9. The Test of Physical Attraction
Physical attraction is a relatively small part of genuine love, but it is the central focus of infatuation.

10. The Test of Affection
In love affection is expressed later in the relationship, involving the external expression of the physical attraction just described.

11. The Test of Stability
Love tends to endure. Infatuation may change suddenly and unpredictably.

12. The Test of Delayed Gratification
A couple in genuine love is not indifferent to the timing of their wedding, but they do not feel an irresistible drive towards it.

If anyone would like to know more about a specific test, then let me know and I can give you a more detailed explanation or you can buy the book. Please tell me what you think.

Me-BxW-(36) Him-WxH-(36) Married 9 days short of 12 years b/f D was final 5 kids-10 and younger (3 DD & 2 DS) WH filed for D 11/05 D final 05/06 ***Of course you would DIE for your kids, the question is will you LIVE for them*** ***Time heals nothing but faith heals everything***