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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 63
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 63 |
I sent my STBXW flowers for Mother's Day. Nothing big or fancy. Just something nice that I thought she would like because she is the Mother of our children.
The card said nothing "lovey" or anything like that. I just wished her a great day and told her she was the best mother I know...
Her response? She said, "You don't have to do that".
I told her she was the Mother of our children.
All she would say was, "you don't have to do that".
So- Is she telling me that I should stop doing things like this or is it that when I do things like this, it makes her feel guilty for ending this marriage?
Any ladies care to comment ??
Rowing upstream, against the current ....
Because I love her and she is WORTH IT !!
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 9,015 |
So- Is she telling me that I should stop doing things like this or is it that when I do things like this, it makes her feel guilty for ending this marriage? slh - Sounds like a ray of sunshine peeking through the fog. It reminds her that what is happening is HER choice, not yours or the childrens. Keep doing those things. God bless.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 63
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 63 |
Thanks for the reply....
I was just worried that maybe it might be viewed as pressure and not a good thing...
Things seem to be SLOWLY turning towards the right direction...
I just don't want to do anything that will cause me to backslide..
Rowing upstream, against the current ....
Because I love her and she is WORTH IT !!
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197
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Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 2,197 |
Speaking from a FWW perspective, it sounds like guilt to me. Any time my H did anything nice for me, it would make me feel terrible. First, I felt guilty and unworthy. Second, it made me look at my current situation and wonder why I was throwing away a really decent guy.
I don't know where the line is between token of true affection "just because" and whiny stalker behavior, but Mother's Day flowers are a great idea.
Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 63
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 63 |
Jean36- Thanks for the reply..
I am careful that I don't display any stalker behavior ...
I thought that she might just view it as pressure.
I don't want her to feel guilty. I do want her however to question why she is throwing away a great guy ..
This is the second time I have bought something from her and she gave the same response last time too..
Actually, the first couple of things she didn't ever acknowledge, so , now that she is talking to me, I must be doing the right thing.
BTW, I am not upset that I didn't get a thank you. The point was to show her how I feel as the mother of our children.
Rowing upstream, against the current ....
Because I love her and she is WORTH IT !!
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837
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Joined: Jan 2001
Posts: 17,837 |
SLH,
By all rights, she s/b thanking you but since she is a WS of sorts, the guilt overrides her sense of manners.
A simple thank you from her is the least she could have done, oh well just know you have touched the hearts of all the mother's here who read about your kind and loving act.
Hugz,
L.
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 63
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 63 |
Orchid - I have read many of your posts. You are inspiring to me when things look bleak..
Thank you for the reply ...
What is "s/b" though ??
Even if she doesn't want to be married, I still love her and she still is the mother of our children. I can't deny that.
And she is really, really good about letting me see them. Reading some stuff here, I seem to have it very good when it comes to that.
Thanks again ....
Rowing upstream, against the current ....
Because I love her and she is WORTH IT !!
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Joined: Sep 2003
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