I have been in Plan A for a while and my WS who is more of a fence sitting cake eating spouse than wayward to an OM, isn't really doing anything different. Doesn't want to talk always avoids any conversation of anytype.

In my plan A I am trying to foster a sense of security and warmth - that has alwasy been there - but is being intensified on my part because of the separation. So here is what I am thinking for Plan B

I want to write a nice plan b letter to my wife explaining why I need to break contact and get her out of my thoughts. I also want to set boundries around contact and expectations. Like no need to talk until your ready to talk about us.

I want to have a cover letter from my lawyer to my plan B that outlines my legal intentions, ie no alimony, 50/50 custody, I wont pay for her car if she is using it for ex-martial relationships EA/PA or just friends (she told me on a couple of occasions she has chauffered OM around)
The reason for the letter from the lawyer is that it will cost me 75$ vs 700$ if I have him do up separation paperworks. So get same bang for a lot less money.

The other reason for the cover letter is that we have argued about all this at the beginning of the separation and she threatened several times to get a lawyer and be a hard nose about, it was always a bluff and I always backed down. If she receives my Plan B letter from the lawyer with the cover letter - this will be a huge wake up call for her. It will show her I am serious and it will show her that things are going to change.

I plan on around the beginning of June to execute my Plan B. This will be right when she gets out of preschool for the summer and may want me to do more childcare for her.

She is being a real big cake eater on the fence and I am really starting to get annoyed by it and seeing more of this side of her than I want and its is breaking down my spirit to stay committed to the Plan A.

So out of her potential ability to make 2400 a month of gross income - she is making 400, because she is still living of of my account and my generosity.

I am going to ask for our joint credit card back - via the lawyer.

Where can I find good examples of Plan B letters?

Is the Lawyer letter okay, overkill sets wrong tone???

I will have the lawyer state in his letter that I am committed to the Marriage and reconciliation but he (lawyer) is retained to protect the family assests and my sanity.

The lawyer letter ... I think might be OK unless it threatens divorce

I don't want divorce she knows that but if I bring a lawyer into the picture it will send her a strong single that I am serious.

We always talked about doing the separation agreement between the two of us, a lawyer was always a threat she brought out when she felt I had an upperhand. So me bringing the lawyer in will really show her I am serious.

In my other thread I have already had my lawyer send a letter to the OM to break all contact or face civil liability - which is a law in North Carolina called Alienation of Affection.

Lucky you - living in North Carolina!
Our state is No-Fault. Ugh.

North Carolina is a no fault state as well, However, since we are in the bible belt, we have laws that are very pro marriage... the alienation of affection law dates back to the early 1800's and its been used effectively in recent years...

Also being in a pro marriage state, the legal system here tends to side with the spouse willing to work on the marriage and frowns on the spouse leaving the marriage - so says my lawyer.