I NEED SOMEONE TO GIVE ME ADVICE ,I AM CURRENTLY GOING THRU A SEPERATION PROCESS WITH MY WIFE, WE HAVE HAVING ISSUES FOR OVER A YEAR NOW AS IT WAS EVIDENT THAT WE RUSHED INTO GETTING MARRIED BT LATER FOUND OUT THAT WE ARE NOT MEANT FOR EACH OTHER
OUR PROBLEM STEMS FROM THE FACT THAT I HAVE A SON AND AN AGED MOTHER TO TAKE CARE OF,SHE KNEW THIS BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED AND DID NOT COMPLAIN BUT ALL OF A SUDDEN ,SHE NOW STARTED NAGGING AND MAKING ISSUES OUT OF IT,WE STOPPED HAVING SEX LIKE 4 MONTHS AGO WHEN I ACCIDENTALLY FOUND OUT THAT SHE WAS BUYING FERTILITY DRUGS AND DID NOT LET ME KNOW,I STUMBLED OVER HER EMAIL WHEN SHE FORGOT TO CLOSE IT WHEN I GOT HOME, WHAT I SAW WAS SHOCKING, WE ARE STILL LIVING TOGETHER UNDER THE SAME ROOF AND HERE SHE WAS ,ON A PAID SUBSCRIPTION WEBSITE WITH HER PICTURES AND TALKING TO VARIOUS MEN AND TELLING THEM SHE WAS DIVORCED,THAT WAS THE LAST STRAW, AND WE DECIDED TO SEPERATE AND MOVE AHEAD.

THERE ARE SOME ISSUES THAT I WILL NEED ADVICE FOR,SHE HAS A HOUSE BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED AND EVER SINCE WE MARRIED ,I HAVE BEEN PAYING THE MORTGAGE ON THE HOUSE EVEN THOUGH THE HOUSE IS IN HER NAME ,I DID NOT MIND BECAUSE I WENT INTO THE MARRIAGE IN GOOD FAITH.

WHILE DISCUSSING SEPERATION ISSUES,CERTAIN THING CAME UP THAT BOTHERED ME, I KNEW SHE HAS CREDIT CARD DEBT IN HER NAME AND ALL THE CARD WERE USED BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED AND WHICH I HAVE BEEN HELPING HER PAY OFF , BUT NOW SHE IS SAYING THAT SINCE WE ARE MARRIED THAT ALL HER DEBT BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED WILL HAVE TO BE SHARED EQUAL EVEN THOUGH WE WERE NOT MARRIED WHEN SHE GOT THE BILLS AND THAT I CANNOT LAY CLAIM TO HER HOUSE SINCE THE HOUSE IS NOT IN HERE NAME, WHAT DO I DO, I CANT AFFORD A LAWYER RIGHT NOW ,SHE IS THREATHENING ME THAT SHE KNOWS HOUSE THE AMERICAN SYSTEM WORKS IN FAVOUR OF WOMEN DURING DIVORCE AND ESPECIALLY SINCE I AM NOT AN AMERICAN CITIZEN, SOMEONE SHOULD KINDLY SHED ME SOME LIGHT

THANKS

A LONELY MAN

well i did some research for u and i found this wonderful website that i am sure will give u some ideas
http://www.iwishisaidno.com/forum/938-how-divorce.html
hope that this will help u a lot
good luck

My suggestion is to go seek counseling. I started going to a mens group tonight and I cant tell you how much better I feel about eveerything in general. Just to be able to talk to other people with an open ear who are also neutral will help you a lot.
I start counselling on Thursday for myself then sometime next week my wife and I are going to start seeing a therapist together. Ask your wife if she will go to a counselor with you or go by yourself. You will feel a lot better about it once you do.
I was scared tonight to step into the building and open the door to the room but once I got inside I saw that it wasnt just other men with issues it was other men who needed to just talk to someone else that wasnt a part of the family or a friend. trust me it will make you feel so much better.

Undo the ALL CAPS so your posts are easier to read, please...

And then... Contact a lawyer for a free consultation.

Go from there.

Jan

I agree with Seekingjoy. Divorce lawyers offer free consultations and one will tell you where you probably stand on the house and the bills. That can give you some peace of mind and some ammunition to counter her threats. I know that in my state, she would be right about the house, but you wouldn't be responsible for any of her credit card debt.

Yes, you may want to go to counseling to see if the marriage might be saved. But, if you do decide to divorce, you cannot afford NOT to have a lawyer. Please make some inquiries among your friends and associates to find someone who is competent, but doesn't overcharge.

I was almost taken by the first lawyer I went to because I was too embarassed to ask other people for references and find out how much it should cost. My current attorney is only $200 an hour (I am in a really small city), but the first one I talked to was substantially more.

Good luck!

Well, you guys must live in a TOTALLY different neck of the woods than I do. Here, no such thing as a free consult in family law. Medical malpractice, yes. Injury, yes. Family law, NO! Initial consult fees start at $300 and go from there.

If you go to DivorceNet , you will find links to each state and you can obtain fabulous information there...covering what is considered marital property and what is not.

But bottom line: you cannot afford to NOT have a lawyer.

And yes, caps are interpreted as yelling on the 'net. I always encourage folks who post to use normal caps & lower case and to break their posts into paragraphs. Much easier reading and you will get more responses.