Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 37
T
Member
OP Offline
Member
T
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 37
I don't know if there is something wrong with me, but after trying so long to make it work, I just feel this sense of relief to be done with it. We have been seeing the mediator, things are going smoothly. There is no more fighting, no more hurt, lies, or disappointment.

Visitation is working out ok, he seems to have become a much better father, and I have this new found freedom I never thought I would have. I always worried how this would affect the kids, and while its not ideal, I finally feel they will be ok, and that I will be ok.


Actually the hardest part of this for me, well besides the obvious financial, is dealing with loss of mutual friends and family, or the friends and family I do have only feel sorry for me. I don't know anyone who has been divorced, no one who understands. Its weird becasue I feel like I want to meet new people, not necessarily date, but just meet new people to talk to who can get to know me, just me, not as a mom, or a divorced person, but just someone to talk to and have fun with who doesn't just feel sorry for you, and expect me to forever mourn the loss of my marriage?

Am I weird, or has others felt like this?

TS

Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 297
T
Member
Offline
Member
T
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 297
TS -

Yes, I cannot describe the unbelievable relief that came over me when I finally, after so many years of fighting, crying and trying to make a marriage work, got my divorce.

So, you are not alone - I totally understand that feeling.


Older But Definately Happier and Wiser
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 89
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 89
I have tried so hard to make my marriage work and as sad as it is it will probably not happen. So now I just want everything over and I think I am ready to move onto new things and experiences.

I think trying to save my marriage alone has been so draining that I am just worn out. I truly think my STBX will regret his decisions, but right now he is too up and down - one day he hates me the next he is sorry for some things, then next right back to his mean behavior. I am ready for some stability for me and my children.

So I understand and I am hoping that once this is over I will feel a sense of relief.

Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 9
A
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
A
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 9
[quote]I have tried so hard to make my marriage work and as sad as it is it will probably not happen. So now I just want everything over and I think I am ready to move onto new things and experiences.

I am in the same boat as you.Yes, it is very sad but I have no regrets and am looking forward to my new life.
I just moved into our own place. It is going to be great when I am all done cleaning and moving things around in there!! I totally understand your frustration w/ the moodiness. I am dealing w/ that too. It must just be a part of an abuser's m.o. well, good night. I am tired. Arielle89

Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 25
V
Member
Offline
Member
V
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 25
I fully understand the elation you feel.

My relief came when I decided that the marriage was over and said that I wanted to divorce. I had the peace of mind in knowing that I did everything possible to save the marriage over the past 5 years (that was 2 years ago). Unfortunately, the divorce is dragging on, now almost 2 years.

I've never been part of a close group of friends, but I no longer have someone holding me back from making new friends.

good luck and enjoy...


Regards, vegman
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 89
D
Member
Offline
Member
D
Joined: Aug 2005
Posts: 89
Thanks - my divorce is dragging to and I just want it over. As I said in another post we are down to 2 issue and one I may just give in on to get this over with.

I need to move on and make my own decisions - plus I need to establish boundaries with my STBX he walks all over me because I let him and I hope it will make things easier.

Kind of looking forward to the day when I can speak my mind to my ex and not feel bad about it. Currently I just smile and take whatever he says.

Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714
Ooooh, yeah.


Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 171 guests, and 241 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Ardent Center, Lost@1969, Jmoor9090, Confused1980, Bibbyryan860
71,843 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5