Marflow,

It's not an LB to ask him who it was, or to state that it freaked you out. Just be calm about it, and don't lose your temper.

If he admits it was her, let him know that contact with OP hurts you.
If he doesn't admit it, don't insist or start nagging, there's no point.

LB, Thank you for your response.

Called WH asked about the call he said no one was calling in. So maybe it was just interference in the phone line.

I told it freaked me out, he said that he understood. And I didn't push any futher.

TGIF, it has been one long week.

Spent the last two days trying to catch up on all the threads I read.

Yeasterday I was reading Chacha's thread and I started thinking that maybe I should ask my WH when he is planning to come home.

So at lunch I asked him if he had decided when he was coming home. He told me he dosen't have a date, but he is planning on coming home. He did tell me before that he won't come home until he is sure that he won't call OW anymore, because he dosen't want to hurt me anymore. He also said has IC is really helping. I told him that I hope we can get back into MC soon.

Sometime I think I am seeing my H. I hope this will last.

So do you think that maybe the fog is lifting?

Good new WH has gone 20 days with NC. We talk yesterday he told me that it's still hard, I told him I understood.

Told him maybe he should spend more time with his family.

Told him I miss having him around.

Looking into his eyes, I think I saw my H looking back at me.

Talked to my Pastor friday she told me she can see a difference in body language between WH and myself.

Bad new my computer at home crashed, but now I can go by the new one I wanted.

I've been doing alot of thinking about what is different about this NC, he has tried to do this many times before.

This time its been 20 days.

I am thankful that it has lasted that long. But I find myself thinking about it alot.

Do I just figure it's only a matter of time and he will have contact again.

I think part of my problem is when I first found out I was willing to do anything to make it work. Now I don't care, I don't believe in D but if thats whats going to happen then I would like to get it over with.

I keep playing over in my different things he has said. And it makes me sad.

He told me that we don't have any chemistry anymore.

What the heck is that suppose to mean?

I miss his touch so much that sometimes I can't hardly stand it.

That my rant for the day. Thanks for listening.

Have to tell you what happened last night.

WH came over for dinner, it wasn't planned he called when he was leaving work I told him I was cooking fried chicken, mashed potaoes and gravy and if he wanted he could come over.

After dinner he told me how good it was I said thank you.
Then he told me like five more times I said thank you each time. Wow I didn't know my fried chicken was so good.

About a week ago I put fall in love stay in love in the bathroom.

So last night after he left I went into the bathroom and the book had been moved so I think he may have look at it.

I got the book because he said he wasn't sure he could fall in love with me. Because of course I heard the I love you but I'm not in love with you speech. So I really hope he read some of it.

OS gets back from his mission trip today so I told WH if he wants he could stay the night, he dosen't have to work until noon tomorrow so that would give plenty of time to spend with the boys. He didnt say yes or no so I guess I will find out tonight.

Yesterday I got the cell phone bill. I thought there had been NC for 21 days and he did'nt even go 1 day without talking to her.

I feel like such a fool.

I don't understand why he lied its not like I told him he had to do it. He came to me and told me he had done it.

So I called him and told I knew he lied to me. Then I told him that if he is going to work on this marriage he needs to come home, if not I need to know.

I guess its time for plan B.

I don't know if I should give a day to let me know what he decided.

I'm going to start my plan b letter. If he make the right choose I won't give it to him, if not I will give to him as so as I see him.

PLEASE HELP I know he wasn't to be trusted in NC but my heart was doing the thinking.

((((Marflow)))) I am so sorry you are hurting.

Post your plan B letter here for guidanc. I will not be here during the day today, but I know others will.

Read up on Plan B and make sure you have your bases covered.

hang in there- I'll be praying for you today.

move, thank you for the prayers I need all of tose I can get.

I'm trying to think on 2 hours of sleep and its no working very well.

Right now I feel like I did on d-day.

I feel sick and I can't stop crying.

I printed 10 steps to a plan b letter. I want to make sure I do this right.

I just talked to WH.

He told me he can't promise me that he could stick to NC. And that I should get on with my life. So I asked if that means its ok if I date and he if thats what I wanted.

So it looks like plan B is whats nexted. I will try to draft tonight so you guys can let me know what ya think tomorrow.

I took him that if he was willing to take one day at a time then I could help him.

I told him that there a people here at MB that could help and that I have books that will help to.

He said he is going to tell our sons.

I think you neeed to do some major exposing- all at once- to anyone and everyone- including your church but most certainly to her husband.

I think it is past time for your sons to know this is going on.

I think I would do a major exposure and be prepared to go directly to plan b.

well I finally got a new home computer.

I'm still woking on my plan b letter.

Talk to my Pastor yesterday, she now knows everything. I told her about plan b (she is not famillar with MB or Dr. Harleys) she said it sounded like a good idea. She also told me I need to tell WH Mom. She said I should do it in person. What do you guys think?

How do you tell someones mom that there child is a cheater?

Today i told our friends at church. My heart isn't thinking for me anymore.


On tuesday the pastor a friend and I will have some prayer time before our weekly bible study.

I think WH might have went into his own plan b. He won't talk to me or our boys. MY YS "said Dad must really hate us". This broke my heart. He also called his Dad a dumb A the other day I told him not to talk like that. I know he is hurting so bad he loves his Dad so much.

Well I need to work on the letter. I will post it when its done.

Peace be with all of you.

I agree you should tell his mother.

You tell her you are trying to save your marriage but that he is involved with another woman.

Tell her you love him and want your marriage to survive this.

it will be hard but it needs to be done soon - tell her what your son is saying - that should really get to her heart.

I talked to WH yesterday. He says his really confused. He keeps saying that he dosen't like his strong enough to do this. So I told him he didn't have to do it alone he has me and our friends and Pastor and most of all he has God. I told him that I didn't think I could have gone through what I have either. But I turned to God, friends and MB'ers that is what has gotten me this far.

Sometimes I wonder how much of what I say gets through.

I'm planning to give him plan b letter saturday.

He has inventory this week so I'm giving him until saturday to let me know if he is coming home and working on the marriage if not, plan b letter will be given to him.

I get so few responses from all of you.

I know I didn't exposed fast enough, but i'm not thinking with my heart anymore.

Marflow,
I'm sorry you are not getting more responses. I am not new when it comes to a time line, my H had his A almost two years ago.
I don't have a lot of advice to give you but I want to encourage you to do what you can for yourself be positive every time you are around your H. Make him wonder what the heck is going on and what you are up to. It's the 180s and they do work. I am seeing that for myself in my sitch.

Be good to yourself, even though we all say it you really aren't alone.
Don't forge to post your plan B letter here before you give it to your H. I know some of the posters are here will read it, help you to get rid of any DJ, LBs etc. when you post your plan B letter make sure you change the title of your thread so people know you need help with it.
Best to you and I will try to pop in on your thread to at least offer encouragement.
*HUGS* Marflow

Thank you Growthspurt.

I'm not familiar with you stich but I'm going to find it.

Thanks for the hug.

Get this.

i just talk to our MC who is also WH IC and she told me that her understanding was WH is coming home.

So is he lying to her?

He told me that she is really helping him. i just don't get it.

I called my friend and told her and she thinks maybe OW keeps sucking WH back in.

What do you guys think. ANYBODY PLEASE!

Did you expose to his mother yet?

not yet.

I what to do it face to face like my Pastor suggested.

His Mom works conventions, she will work 12 hour days 7days a week so I have to want until she is off.

Move, what do you think about MC's comment.