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Joined: Jun 2006
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My Girlfriend moved in with me in July of 05 with her kids and was trying to get disability because she has advanced diabetes so I just did what needed to be done to make ends meet (working overtime that is) and never complained about it one bit. I thought that was what a relationship was about, supporting each other through everything. Well I became stressed out and the sexual activity diminished at times severely and I started getting questioned about old friends I talk to sometimes on my long trip to work and other things, and if I had seen any of them. I have never cheated and would never cheat on anyone but found a note in February of 06 that she started talking to other men online and one of which she started talking to around the middle of August.. 1.5 months after she moved in and later ended up sleeping with him. The letter was very detailed and nauseating talking about a very lengthy sexual adventure and doing it again soon. I confronted her about it and she confessed to it but nothing else.. then later confessed to seeing him again in Jan of 06 but nothing happened cause she couldn't do it. She moved out after the kids were out of school and we have been talking since, I have learned more things.. well learned of another man that she went to and slept with but not sure when this happened while she lived here. Now she wants to move back and be together cause she realizes what she did and how much the kids love and miss me and promises it will never happen again, but I don't know what to believe anymore after the months of deception and many times she had told me she had never and would never be unfaithful to me. She says now that she wants to be with me and get a job and help to make ends meet and do what is right for me and her children. Should I believe her.. please give me some insight how to handle this. I do love her and cherish her kids but I will NOT settle for anyone that will remain to be unfaithful. Please help. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Joined: Feb 2006
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You answered your own question. Don't settle for anyone unfaithful. So, why are you here? Do you want someone to give you permission to take her back?

There are plenty of hard decisions in life. This is not one of them. Don't take her back. Move on. Go to match.com or eharmony or anything. Just move on!


Hope, Love, and Faith
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She wants to prove to me that she will be faithful and do her part but as much as I love her its hard to just get over. I trusted her unconditionally and was decieved for months. I miss her like crazy and miss her kids, I love them all but this is really tearing at my heart.

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countryboymo,

Most people here who have unfaithful partners are married with kids. They have to stick with their spouse for the sake of their family. You're free to go and find a healthy relationship untainted by the poison of infidelity.

She lied, decieved and betrayed you. Don't you think you can do better? Do you want to end up on "The Maury Povich Show" taking a paternity test?

It's your choice. Good luck.


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Lets recap.

Fiance betrayed your trust, had MULTIPLE affairs <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />, and LIED repeatedly about them before marriage. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />

Through the grace of God you found out it time.

I would RUN, not walk away from this one! Please save yourself and those you care about the heartache of having to live with a serial cheater.


WTF *** Warning *** Make sure brain is engaged before shifting mouth out of Neutral.
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Do you know for certain that you yourself were not an affair on somebody else? This woman is bad news, and while you may love her (she meets your ENs, sex probably one of them) she needs to get her life in order first. The real losers here are her kids. They deserve better than they are getting.


Me 45 Her 50
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Wow, get AWAY from this liar and cheater. Or else you will end up being a supporter and babysitter for her kids while she goes out and cheats again and again....

She needs you for money and so someone can help raise her kids while she cheats her butt off. The woman needs too much attention from other men and does not truly love you enough to be true to you.

please dont be a fool and take her back, it will only hurt the kids in the long run to come back to live with you (moving them back and forth) since this woman has a bad habit of cheating and lying. You still do not know the truth from her!

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Affairs within the context of marriage are a different matter entirely than affairs PRIOR TO marriage.

All expert opinion says you should not marry this person.

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She wants to "prove" something to you--then let her do it. Only not in your house. See if she can get a job, support herself and her kids, provide them with a place to stay like a 'decent' woman would. Date her if you want but make certain that you let her know what you expect of her. Give it a year and see if she turns around.

If you let her move back in now, you might as well have the words "super-sucker" tattood on your forehead.


Me: 56
H: 61
DD: 13 and hormonal
DS: 20

Oldest son died 1994 @ age 8

Happily married 30+ years
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A person like this will do it again and again, no matter how sorry she is at the moment. The sad thing is, if you forgive her, it makes it easier to do it again.

I find it funny that she is so disabled as to receive disability but she has the energy to raise kids AND have affairs. That takes a lot of energy. Do you think she is just milking the system like she want to milk you?

You moving out is taking away financial support to her. This is probably what she is using you for. She only lived with you 1 year and idn't think enough of you to be faithful for that short time

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Quote
A person like this will do it again and again, no matter how sorry she is at the moment.

It's possible. My FWW cheated on me a few years before we were married. Then, 12 years afterwards, she did it again.

Well, at least it took 12 years for the A-bomb to drop <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />.

We've talked a lot more about the actual affair this time though, and how she managed to find herself in one. Perhaps that will help. Then again, it might not.

I do know that I would have probably walked away this time, were it not for our kids, our home, and the fact that we did invest over 20 years of our lives in each other.


ManInMotion
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(see "MiM's Story" for more details)

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