Didn't read The Old Man and the Sea. Don't like Hemingway. I know I should have read it but I'm betting it's not about an old man that caught a big fish. I'm not into that macho thing. I used to read a lot of Robert Ruark, who was of the same ilk, but he used to annoy me even when I was a teenager.

"Swept Away", I haven't seen.

Sheesh, now I sound like a total ignoramus.

Ask me about "War and Peace". I HAVE read that.

Couldn't you have asked me about something I HAVE read or seen.

OOh, just remembered another favourite movie. "My Father's Castle" and the sequel the name of which escapes me. It's a French autobiographical movie that is just WONDERFUL. It's also important to me because my son's girlfriend at the time, who was the product of a very unhappy home (foster homes and being shunted here and there) and who had all sorts of problems, later sorted out by joining the army (which Rob and I gave her the confidence to join), watched it with me (she was living with us) and said she had no idea that life could be so beautiful or so moving.

It was one of the highlights of my life, getting through to that girl.

"War and Peace"? Sure you have...

Did you know that when Tolstoy was a boy, he formed a club and to be initated into the club, a prospective member had to stand in the corner and not think of a white bear for thirty minutes?

Those Russians were cruel!

Anyway, how about "The Brothers Kamamazov"?

It is a bruising book in that it deals with ill children. I had trouble finishing the book because of that.

I personally think Hemingway was a fraud. A very drunk fraud at that.

Have you read Faulkner? Carson McCullers? Tennessee Williams? F. Scott Fitzgerald?

Are you into poetry? My favorite by far is William Butler Yeats. I also am fond of the British masters: Tennyson, Milton, Browning, et al.

BTW, where the heck is head lice?

You don't think he is actually working do you? I guess it is the weekend now in SA. Dang time zones. Very confusing to simple minds.

I HAVE read War and Peace. I like the Russians. Not The Brothers Karamazov but My Childhood by Gorky and Anna Karenina. Yes, Faulkner (love it), yes, F Scott Fitzgerald. Carson McCullers I struggled with. Poetry, the beat poets from Liverpool and Leonard Cohen and Coleridge. ee cummings, Yeats and Keates. Robert Graves, anything by, DH Lawrence, anything by.

I think we might be showing our age here BTW.

Yeah, where is Head Lice?

You struggled with Carson McCullers? Wow. That is interesting.

Have you read her poetry? "The Mortgaged Heart" is a billiant poem.

How about Mario Puzo? A great storyteller. Best known for "The Godfather", he wrote a couple of critically acclaimed books: "The Dark Arena" and "The Fortunate Pilgrim". One of my favorite contemporary writers.

Okay, continuing with 2much's theme, what is the funniest situation you have been in?

What day is it BTW in NZ?

I may have mentioned this but my youngest son had a college friend from NZ who attended the university on a tennis scholarship. She has moved back to NZ and has invited my son down. Cheap vacation if he can afford the airfare. I hear it is beautiful there.

It is Friday here. 5.38pm. It IS beautiful here. Everything you could ever want (ski fields, scenery, unspoilt beaches) all within a 4hr max plane trip.) Being two long skinny islands, everyone lives by the sea. Sort of, some have to drive a couple of hours. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> One of our teaching assistants (tutors we call them) is from Indiana. He and his wife have become official NZ residents.

Funniest situation? I will have to think about that. I tend to get into idiotic situations quite frequently but nothing comes to mind right now.

That's what I have heard. I know of an American on a different online community, one devoted to stock trading, who moved his family to NZ and absolutely loves it.

Many Americans have a fascination with Au and NZ. The new frontier or something like that.

Okay, come clean with a funny story now......

NZ is actually mentioned in the Australian constitution as a state of Australia. Is that a funny story or what?

pio

How have been things at home? Where is gemela? and your D's?

Well it has been a strange few days. Where to begin? Wednesday morning I had agreed with WW that she would pick me up at the office at 9:00AM so we could go together to the US Consulate to get a POA notarized. I am trying to get my Harley registered in Texas and need a friend to help. Gemela had dropped me off at the dentist at 7:00AM so her morning was going to be pretty short. No time to play golf, etc. Anyway, all was well. Until… I got a call from DD1’s school nurse telling me she was sick. Nurse had tried to call WW at home but she was not there and that I needed to pick up DD1 and take her home. I said okay. But I had no car. I tried to call WW and the maid answered and said WW was not at home. She told me she had left a while ago and was going to be out until she picked me up at 10:00AM (not 9:00AM). I asked if she knew where WW was. She told me she was at an apartment. I said thanks and hung up and then worked on a plan to pick up DD1. I was also in a rage. I could think of no reason for WW to be out. If she had needed to go to the grocery store, she would have gone home before picking me up. Why did she tell the maid she would not be home until lunch and why was she at an apartment? I was just furious. Obviously I was imagining the worst. A friend had the division car and needed me to help him go pick up his car at the dealer so I asked if we could go get DD1 and take her home first and we did. This would mean that I would have to postpone the consulate but I had no idea were WW was so could not discuss this with her. We got DD1 and took her home. She is fine BTW. She just wanted to play hooky from school I think.

So we leave my house about 9:00AM and I ask to drive back by the office on the way to the car dealer (it is on the way) just on the odd chance that WW is there. We get there about 9:10 and sure enough there is WW. I go talk to her and say “where the he11 have you been? The school tried to call you because DD1 is sick. I took her home, etc. We will have to delay the consulate but she needs to get home and see if DD1 needs to go to the doctor. She said she was at IC. I asked why she would not have told me that. I say it is now more obvious than ever that we need to be apart. We fought all day long by telephone and in person. It was ugly.

Now pay attention because this is where we have the difference of opinion. This is what we fought about but I don’t think WW understands it. She kept begging me to call the IC and verify her story. I told her I didn’t need to. I honestly believed her and still do. The problem is not that I doubt where she was. The problem is that she seems to still want to keep secrets. What would it have cost her to simply tell me that she had an IC appointment? She said she forgot until just before the appointment time. I said she had known about the appointment for a week – why didn’t she mention it before. She said she never thought the school would call and tell us DD1 was sick. This is where we have the problem. I cannot get WW to understand. I told her she has to be completely honest. Secrets are not helping our situation. [BTW, we both found out in separate conversations that, when my maid says “apartment”, she means “appointment”. She doesn’t speak English all that well. Couldn’t she have picked a better word to screw up on?]

At the end of the day I just told WW that we only had a few more days together so we shouldn’t fight. She asked what that meant. She asked if the separation was going to be permanent. I said I believed it would be. I believed that she wouldn’t wait more than a week in Mexico to call OM and start her affair again and then we would be done forever. I also told her that it was not fair to me to ask me to stay married to a woman who did not love me and never did. I got a lot of denials about this BTW. Then she said 5 months in Mexico was too long and wanted to come back sooner. She said she wished we could all go to Mexico. I said too bad. It wasn’t going to happen. She said Mexico was my idea to begin with. I said I had changed my mind. Learn to live with it. She said if I believed that she was going to start up with OM that she didn’t want to go to Mexico. I said she needed to go because we cannot continue to go on like we are going. I love her but am losing those feelings with this continual problems of lies, half-truths and secrets. I would be happier alone than with her. What can I say? It was not pretty.

Thursday we had already planned to go to Bahrain so she could get her hair done and then we could drink margaritas. We went. Surprisingly we got along really well. No anger from the previous day. I dropped her off and then went to Toys R Us to get some games for the DDs. Then I had a couple of beers while waiting for WW. We went to lunch and we had a great time. We drank margaritas and WW got borracha. We made it back home and WW went upstairs. I stayed down to open up the new Bratz for the DDs and then went upstairs to find WW hugging the toilet. I got her in bed and got her an ice bag and stayed with her until she went to sleep and then went back down to assemble Mouse Trap for the DDs. I didn’t see gemela again until Friday morning. We had a tee time for 7:30.

I woke her up on Friday and she seemed fit enough to play so we got dressed and went. It was HOT! 45C. But I played very well. WW and I got along so well on Friday. We went home after golf and had lunch. Nothing too eventful for the rest of the day but in the afternoon we played Scrabble and Life with the DDs. Later gemela and I were in the floor watching Entertainment Tonight and it was all about affairs, Christie Brinkley, other movie stars with unfaithful spouses, etc. I was watching all this with gemela with no triggers whatsoever. I felt, in the moment, like her A happened a thousand years ago and was all behind us. I think she may have felt that too. It was just strange.

Anyway, that is how my weekend went. I have no idea what any of it means. I know the IC, sick DD, maid’s broken English all happened for a reason. That was not coincidence. Why did it happen? Just weird.

I did ask WW if the IC wants to see us again for MC. She said no. The IC doesn’t really want to see me. I noticed she has stopped taking her AD and I asked why. She said the IC says she doesn’t need it any more – that neither of us does. Well I’m still taking mine – at least until WW is gone to Mexico.

Ok, I've read your post a couple of times. I understand your anger, most of me understands your anger. Under your circumstances all of me understands your anger. Gemela isn't under house arrest you know. But then, it wouldn't have hurt her to tell you she was going to IC - unless she thought it would start an A discussion again. Which she seems to hate.

Pio, you need to be clear in your own mind that when she wants to come home you're going to accept her home. I can almost see this playing out. She'll beg to come home but you will only believe that things will be the same again and you'll refuse.

Do you have a plan? For when she begs to come home (she will you know), some sort of boundaries to make sure you're not back at square one. Or a plan for refusing to let her come home? I know you've tried to establish all this over the last year (boundaries, honesty etc) but when it's really crunch time she's going to need to know that this time, if you agree to stay together, you won't put up with the same old crap.

I'm sure wiser posters than me will have ideas. Pep springs to mind.

Pio, you need this break very badly and FWIW I think it's your only choice.

I agree with Jen Pio. And Jen I am shocked you haven't slapped me yet.

I was going to, BigK, but thought Pio needed help more than you needed (deserved) a slap and it didn't seem fair to yuck it up when he's going through all this.

Darn it, I had a great comeback too.

Oh, Jen is here, so I can't talk about politics. And I love all the authors she hates, and hate the ones she loves.

Hmmmmm.

B, there are not many authors I hate. I love the written word. (I hated the Da Vinci Code though I thought it was a badly written potboiler trying to pretend it was a serious book). Some just don't speak to me like others do. When I said I struggled with Carson McCullars, I just couldn't get into The Heart is a Lonely Hunter. It's still on our bookshelf, maybe I'll try it again. We're all different in our tastes - I still think you're the cat's pyjamas. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> LOL my mother says that.

You can talk about politics JUST THIS ONCE, the world situation being what it is right now.

Jen - I LOVE books - almost any kind. I read a couple every week and have all of my life. I actually carry one around with me every where. People can't believe I read that much, but I read in line at the store, in the bathroom, at night, sometimes even while waiting for the light to change when driving.

Politics - I used to support Israel, but I've had it. Like Piojitos says - poor Lebanon.

Sorry about the T/J earlier.

Gemela and I are going to be fine. There is no doubt in my mind. I don't know why I know that but I do.

Yes I know gemela is not under house arrest. If the nurse had not called, I would never have known gemela had been out of the house. I don't check up on her. I don't follow her. I would love to get her a cell phone for emergencies but, since I took the Snap-On dead blow hammer to her last cell phone and ran the truck over OM's cell phone, I am not a big fan of cell phones.

BTW I told gemela that I think her IC has zip experience with infidelity and I wonder if she is even degreed. Gemela told me the same thing. She says she would like to change IC but is afraid of hurting her feelings. I asked her what was more important - IC's feelings or her marriage. She decided she will change.

We don't talk about what goes on but she says that IC spends more time chatting about what she has done lately, where she has gone, what clothes she has bought than talking about problems. Gemela says sometimes she has to cut her off and remind her that there are issues to discuss.

You see separation as the salvation of your marriage?

I see the fear of separation as the salvation of the marriage. Gemela has already told me she cannot stay in Mexico till December. She has asked to be able to come back sooner. I told her she can come back whenever she wants. I don't think it will be very long. But she has to decide when she is coming back. I won't do it for her. I don't think, until very recently, that gemela has understood that this is all very real. I feel like she is finally starting to kick up her heals. Good for her.

T/J over.