Life changes are always hard on marriage, especially losses.

And I think you are right about looking inside for happiness.

Well, I cannot sleep so here is a moment in science and math history.

Carl Friedrich Gauss was a German mathematician and physicist of notable stature. When he was seven years old, his teacher instructed the class to write down the integers from one to one hundred and add them. As his fellow students worked to write down all the integers, little Gauss had the sum instantly.

How did he do it? He noticed that a consistent pairing of numbers produced the same sum throughout the one hundred numbers. Specifically, the numbers at either extreme and ratcheting from there.

So, 100+1=101; 99+2=101; 98+3=101; 97+4=1 and so on and so forth. He then reasoned that there are fifty such combinations. So, the answer is 101*50 or 5,050.

At age seven!

Hello ToddAC you don't know me but I follow this thread, since Pio has been like a mentor to me for a couple months now.

Something you wrote that makes a lot of sense but leaves me really... scared... or in deep doubt at least.

Quote:------------
I think the key differentiating factor is whether the person seeks internal or external validation. If one seeks validation from another person, they are affair material."
----------------------

My H has validation from me, always had... but I don't count because, his words "You don't count, because you love me, who love's the ugly sees the beauty".

So I can't see him getting the validation or admiration he needs coming from me.


Do you think there's any chance of recovery with such spouse?

Hope yu don't mind asking this question here.

Edited to add, I am the BW, married for almost 13, happy M till 2-1/2 years ago when H started having EA's, PA's and ONS, for 2 years till d-day last January. Two girls same age as Pio I think.

Do you know how farging chatty you people are on the weekend?

Not only did I have to search and search for the particular question...I THEN had to remember what the heck I wrote LAST WEEK!

Sheesh. And we are having a survey on karst cave crickets tonight (and other nights this week) that I am helping prepare for....

We're trying to figure out what would entice the danged critters out of their caves...I mean, I know what would do it for me...but I don't think a bottle of Arrogant Ba$[censored] Ale would do it for a bunch of invertebrates...I seriously doubt their palate has refined past Coors Light....

Anyone wanna help count cave bugs?

What I meant, dear man, is that you are very visably disentangling yourself from Gemla's self imposed misery (miasma). I say self imposed because she CHOSE this for herself...You, however, are choosing NOT to follow her into her swampy wallow.

For that, for you saving yourself and your daughters from riding that particular train to he11, you are getting a few thumbs up from someone who wishes she'd removed herself from the miasma sooner....THE MOMENT I removed myself and took back the control is THE MOMENT I regained clarity of mind.

- Kimmy

Where is everyone?

I'm here Todd. What's on your mind?

Is it just me or is this thread being invaded by idiotville? (not that there's anything wrong with that)

Oh nothing. Just wondering if everyone went to DisneyWorld with Pio.

When did Pio find all the letters and cards? This thread moves waaayyy too fast for me

The day before they left for WDW.

I guess Jen is upset with me. Sorry Jen...

I hope he has a good break with the girls.

Je parle en francais ce nuit.

My SIL and BIL, their niece who lives in Paris with her French husband and their little bilingual girls have just been here for dinner. Rob had a day off today and cooked all the dinner and my SIL brought the rest of the food.

I have been speaking French to the little girls. One of them said to me "I speak ENGLISH" in a very haughty voice. It was fun.

Todd, I was a little embarrassed and felt a little silly. I knew you were only joking about the metaphor thing but I got carried away and then felt very silly. I felt that you and Pio were laughing at me in your e-mails.

Put it down to PMS. I'm a different human when I have PMS and I have pre-menopausal PMS which I think is worse than ordinary PMS.

I just know that my eyes pricked with tears of humiliation, and I don't really know why, when I read that you and Pio were having a little "in" joke that I sort of got caught up in.

I had a very small inkling how it felt when I betrayed you all (including Rob).

Jen,

Sorry, I should have been more clear(clearer?). The email conversation Pio and I had goes way back to a couple of months ago. For some zany reason, I have continued to claim that I am no good with metaphors. It all started when Pio asked me if a metaphor was the same thing as an analogy. It went downhill from there.

But during the time you and I were posting about the Old Man and Swept Away, he and I were silent on the issue. He prolly rolled his eyes at me wondering how long I would carry on.

Anyway, sorry.

Gotta run and go play in the microwave.

I had a really nice and supportive post last night that I thought made it our to the board but it appears to have gone to the virtual black hole.

Oh, well it had some sarcasm and support for Todd and general jabber...been having tough w/e so limited interaction. I tend to isolate when I am hitting the wall.

KiwiJ.,
just don't worry about the twins inside jokes...there a probably many that go straight over my head or out my ears...I am intelligent and yet at times I still feel like I have a room temp IQ around them, but that's the lure for me...I like to try and figure out what the heck they are talking about! OK, I'll stop talking about you guys like you are not in the room. KiwiJ. and I will have to go to the virtual winery and continue this discussion!!!

Todd, how's the mirco oven treatment going for you? Been thinking of all you tolerate and how you must harass the medical staff and spew sarcasm and geekspeak at them all the whilst they torture you. Seriously, have you had the same folks treating you for a while or do you end up with a bunch of different people all the time. If you have a consistent group they must be very attached to you.

I wonder how many times P has vomitted on the spinning rides? I'm sure the girls are in their glory. I think the return from WDW will be difficult, I know it would be for me.

2much,

I finished early today. I was much too nauseated to do much. The staff changes since I go M-F and I think most work three, twelve hour shifts and then off four days. There are some who still work the standard eight hour day, five days a week.

I actually take it easy on them. I mean, after all, they could get me back at any time.

I hardly think that you have a room temperature IQ btw. As for Pio, I have an advantage over him. I know his IQ; he doesn't know mine. I don't want to embarass him. Of course, if I took an IQ test today, I would prolly score a 60 or so. My brains feel scrambed.

Sorry Todd.

I was just checking on you and Pio.

Hate you having to deal with the evil nausea:( Maybe you can get some sleep...take some antiemetic and crash if you can. I don't believe for a minute that you spare the staff.

Have you tried any alternative medicine/therapy for the side effects of the tx? Accupuncture, meditation, yoga? Just wondering...any involvement with a support group outside of the infidelity support?

Of course we all know laughter is one of the best medicines so I'm sure you are in louse-withdrawal! Are your sons around to give you a hand? I'm a wuss and don't think I could do as well as you...I hate people around me or touching me when I feel bad...

Maybe you should give us some nausea metaphors to cheer you/us up and demonstrate to Kiwi your real gift???? We can do a one-up on the previous one...

Alright, I'll shut up and let you sleep. BBFN

I will go lay down. I am sick.

my thoughts and prayers Todd that you can get some rest and relief...((((((((T)))))))

God Bless you ToddAd..
Im sorry you are sick