Hi 2much,

Thank you for the update. It does indeed sound like y'all were very lucky.

Hope everyone continues to heal and recover very quickly.

Hey, for DS, you might try some Clearsil. He may need it during his teen years, although it seems to work better for some than others. I tried it in my teen years. I ate a tube every day for three weeks and it made no appreciable difference. Also, left a bad aftertaste in my mouth.

Hi guys
Im in a hurry, and Im on risk to call OM.. (last one)
He called me some days ago.. I was on quiet and that call moved deep feelings inside me....
Im confussed..

Hi regreted,

IF you want your marriage to survive, do not call him. It is an addiction and you need to break your addiction. Stay busy and keep your mind on other things.

BTW, is OM married? If so, expose to his wife.

Do not be confused. Do not call. Remain quiet. If you want to recover your marriage drop it like a bad habit...go cold turkey...sing at the top of your lungs, clean your house, change your oil, do anything to get your mind off OM. Do something good for yourself...each time you think of OM do 10 push-ups or 25 sit-ups. Discipline yourself...it will get easier in time. Do not call or make contact!!!! You can do this, it's a mind game that our bodies allow us to be confused with. You have control, you can make the choice to put an end to this. We are rooting for you. Get away from the phone:)

he is not married...
he is single.. I never understand why a man like him is still single...
Im keeping busy,,, but its hard... I called my H and he said "what happen?" why I can speak with my H and with OM I spent hours speaking..
I know its a mistake to even think in OM but Im in grieg I thought..
I havent pass this process, because all thing happened too fast.. I was worry about my H, we lived too much things and OM in my mind was as blocked...
Heard again his voice,, and he know how to speak,.,,,
Im stupid right? I know,,, I need to stop think in this....
Its hard but Its the best for me and my family.. my H doesnt deserves this...

Try not to compare OM and H...2 different worlds, one still fantasy since you haven't lived through trials and challenges and been in the real world together. You have been through these things with your H. Only you can decide if you want to recover your M...it sounds like your H is willing to try recovery right?

It is probably wonderful to have someone speak to you in kind words and treat you like you feel you should be treated but it is still very superficial...has your H been there through hard times, has he comforted you in times of need, been a shoulder for you to cry on and picked you up when you were down? Do his actions speak on their own and not require fancy pleasantries?

I don't know, I am only asking. I sure wouldn't want to be compared to the OWs b/c I have had children, cleaned vomit, picked up dog waste, been through all of the rough times and have been seen at my worst as well as my best. My H has only seen the OWs in their best, they only show what they want to be seen and my H most likely only shows his best side. I would like to take a video of some of our rough times and give it to them and say, how'd you like him now???? But he only treats them like they are princesses b/c it's a selective...you see where I am coming from?

Think about it.

WOW 2much - an accident at an intersection - I guess at least the Ambulance wasn't moving too fast? You are so lucky. I hope you are having a better day.

2much - Thank God everyone is alright. Let me know if you need tips on getting full value for your car. I'm very good at it.

Roll call.

Present. How are you doing today, Todd?

Hope that you are feeling okay. If not, email me at [email]digsblues@hotmail.com.[/email]

Present Todd - how are you today?

Hey Todd--Have not talk to you for a while. How is your treatment coming along?> Are you feeling improved in your health? I hope so!!

Have you tried making arroz con habichuelas? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

Hope y ou are well

Myrta

Present

thanks TOd, 2much,

Well I called him but he wasnt at home, affortunately, person who answered phone asked me to call later,, but I didnt do it.. I thought that God, help me,, and even I failed, and I called him, he wasnt there.. gooood for me....
I felt bad with myself, as a looser, I was sad, but not because I didnt find OM, I was because I felt again, I wasnt able to control myself, and I called him..
Anyway, I tried to see to the future, and I ran to the gym and I felt much better after doing some exercise..

About bad times and sharing this with my H, its difficult to explain but I havent felt support in my bad times.. This issue is not new, this is an issue from some long ago..
When I was diagnosticated an illness and my humor was bad because of this, my H said, why I should deal with this, Im not guilty of your illness,,,, this was devastaded for me...
then I "met" and online man, and he gives me support, and at least he listened to me...
Anyway , I understand the main idea.. and yes, you are right. Its not same environment, and I should not to compare OM wiht my H.. and I fact I need to write that phsycically my H is more goodlooking than OM... and this is difficult, but I felt with more emotional connection with OM than with my H... but physically my H is much much better... and there are days that I realize that my H can met someone else, and I need to be careful and try to fillin all his needs...

Ouch - Gotta get this puppy back on the front page. Is anyone here?

Bump for the Louse

Todd I hope your absence isn't because you're being microwaved again. That really sucks.

[color:"yellow"] [/color] Hi guys,
Sorry it has been a while. I am having issues. So angry and frustrated. Basically have been going thru all of the post-accident stuff alone. Making all the kids appt's, my medical issues,taking them to doctors, insurance issues, attorney issues, rental car, looking for new car etc. Even asked H if someone could be with me yesterday when the PD was coming to talk to me and serve me citations...never even offered. Never offered me his car, never offered to take me or the kids anywhere, hasn't lifted the first finger to do anything around the house or bring a meal home...so self-absorbed with his work issues actually told me I was selfish when I was pissed that he was out until 0300 helping a work colleague.

I feel like he had the chance to redeem himself and he blew it. The only thing I discovered is that I could do all this alone with the support of my friends. It is so sad.

Any words of wisdom Todd? Kiwi? BK?

Checking on Todd.

And throwing in a huge hug for 2Much..

I don't think you were even being a smidge selfish.

Not words of wisdom, 2much, but an observation.

He is inhabited by aliens right now. One day he will look back and won't be able to believe he behaved so selfishly.

I'm sorry he went the way he's gone. I hoped the trauma to his family might have jolted him but it sounds like he's removed himself emotionally.

I'm so sorry you've had to deal with the aftermath all on your own. It's bad enough having the shock of the accident in the first place. Take good care of yourself and be prepared for "coming down" after everything is taken care of. You're probably still working on adrenalin.

I also hope Todd is ok. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Todd, Todd, where are you????

KiwiJ,
I went balistic...I discovered that even at my children's hospital bedside, all the while I was in another trauma center he was on the phone to all of the OW's espc the one he specifically was "trying to back off from". He flat out lied about being in touch and I was only able to figure out a way to explore today...he changed passwords weeks ago so I had been cut off.

I told him he was scum, gave back my engagement ring which is a family heirloom and has tremendous sentimental value to him, told him I was not buying another vehicle that I would be taking the one he was driving as it's in my name and comes out of our joint acct. Basically told him he is on his own and can room in until he gets finances together. He denied nothing and told me I don't need a lawyer that he'll give me whatever I want.

I am so furious I can't see straight. I don't know this person, he disgusts me and I can't stand to breathe the same air. I think he feels like he is doing me a favor by not denying anything. He continues to astound me as he rewrites history trying to convince himself that I have been a bad mother and wife in the past. I told him he could tell himself whatever he needed to in order to allow himself to deal with the destruction and pain he has caused us all. Not to toot my own horn but I've been a great mom despite all of our challenges

I hope I can look back in a year and see this as just a bad day and not the raw painful exorcism of an alien that it feels like now. I am so thankful of my wonderful and supportive children and neighbors and all of you who can give me encouragement.

Thank you all for the hugs and support <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />