Okay, Tolstoy...

2much,

how are you and the kids?

A careful examination of the record will show that Pio had no sense of humor until he met me. All kidding aside.

I hope he posts soon. Curiousity is getting to me.

Well, Friday was the last day for my treatments. Dont' think I could take anymore. I am supposed to feel side effects for weeks if not months.

Oh joy...

At least I will have an excuse for mental lapses.

My memory is foggy.

Why are we here again?

Todd- so glad your tx are over! Almost like the gift that keeps on giving eh? Hopefully the worst is over for you as far as side effects go. Can't speak to the brain lapses as I suspect you may have had some pretumor issues in that dept??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />

The kids and I are sore but bouncicng back quite well. Oodles of MD appt this coming week so hopefully some of life will be getting back to normal. I am just so frustrated between H and all the legal stuff with this MVA. I don't feel it was my fault but the township is pointing the finger at me and charging me with all fault. I just want to get the whole thing over with and move on so I may just pay up and move on but I am such a stickler for integrity and principle of the thing that I detest even doing that as it is just as much an admission of guilt. I know I should be thrilled to have us all alive and shouldn't sweat the small stuff so....

I think Todd that my H must have had a cyber class from your WW on how to treat people who are/have been hospitalized. He totally passed with flying colors...A+ for the total insensitivity and disregard for pain/suffering...the hardball game began 48 hours ago so we'll see how many innings it goes...my guess is extra-innings.

Yes...I can see the Pio made for TV miniseries now...definitely not Fantasia...

Did you see the thread about the WS billboard...made my day, if you haven't peeked please do it is too funny regardless of who you are in the infidelity scene...speaking of which Todd are you sleeping and eating these days???

KiwiJ.- been thinking about our virtual wine tasting again...I've been settling for cheap Chardonnay these days since I'll be paying out the nose for my citations I'm sure and my DS1 and DS2 have b-days in the next 2 weeks!

DS1 is planning all kinds of fun treats that we have to make...fudge, strawberry shortcake, cookies on a stick, homemade popsicles...it should be fun! I feel bad for kids btwn accident and what is going on with H makes very difficult...may get them into fam counseling if things escalate.

Luna-I am most long winded so don't worry I'll take most heat...definitely not known for brevity but if you met me that's what you'd love...all the great stories and humor. I crack myself up frequently just thinking them <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Hi Todd,

quote:------------------------------------------------
Okay, Tolstoy...
------------------------------------------------------

...just had a thought.....although I never actually got through reading Leo's ANNA KARENINA....not exactly a short story...I have seen a couple of movie versions.....I would put this as recommended reading for WS's..... the infidels are no 'happy campers' at the end!

quote:-------------------------------------------------
My memory is foggy.
-------------------------------------------------------

Are we losing you to the 'other side'? .....uuhmmmmm..... this is where not fully knowing your stories doesn't help......not sure which side you were on to begin with, Todd......BS, WS, FBS, FWS? ... I am just assuming you are/were a BS..... I will apologize in advance were this to be an incorrect assumption on my part

Clarification...quotes DO NOT count in my limit of 10 lines.... it's tough as it is!

hmm...don't know.

I will have to consult the IPRC for the answer.

Todd,

IPRC???? What decision-making body does this refer to? ....I would be more than happy to make my case.....

Todd.....since you pretty well know where I stand (given info. in my signature line...) can't really say the same for you.....with your Winston Churchill line......

...may I humbly request a link to your 'thread'....just to catch up and be on even ground.....as I suspect all the 'others' around here know your story.... I would like to be 'sensitive' to your experience when expressing myself...... personally....I have classified myself as a 'basketcase' BS soon after D-day.....enough for PEP, having found me to be a real 'challenge' to say the least, to consider throwing in the towel and 'leave' MB....by her own admission.... I am glad she didn't..... and, as you can see, I have SURVIVED!

.....one line to spare.....yeahhhhh!

Why, the International Posting Rules Committee. What cave have you been in? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />


Well, I haven't had a thread here in a long time. I could never get "traction" here at MB. Prolly because I don't completely buy the tenets of Plan A. Blasphemy!

Here's the Readers Digest version: WW had LTA with neighbor ("real soulmate") because she "thought I was dying". I have a brain tumor hence my playing in the microwave for a few weeks. Anyway, Plan A, she broke NC ten times. Ten was my limit. I moved out in March and currently in Plan D. Married 36 years, three wonderful "adult" sons, lol.

I learned a valuable lesson: R is a two person process. Trying to do it alone is like playing tennis by yourself. Sure it feels good for a while, but you get tired of waiting for the ball to return.

Last Russian book I read was "The Brothers Karamazov". Depressing book but then....

When Tolstoy was a boy, he and his brother formed a club. To be initiated into the club, a prospective member had to stand in the corner and not think of a white bear for thirty minutes.

This is way too confusing…

Wasn’t there a guy called Traiconado somewhere on a sand-dune with a marital problem? He morphed into a Poijitos and is now on the run from the Florida police in Houston?

Todd, I think the microwaves are affecting us all….

Hi Todd,

«What cave have you been in?»

....the naive....fully-trusting mate.....cave.....that's how I ended up being a BS! ....geesh....Todd....36 yrs?...WOW!

.... «I have a brain tumor hence my playing in the microwave for a few weeks» .....

sorry to hear that...and.....how are things?......

"The Brothers Karamazov"???? ....that's pretty HEAVY stuff! ...personally....I would go for reruns of the 'three stooges'.....

....just recently got cable (yeah.....I was literally in a cave on that issue).... my DS10 had very convincing arguments.....but I told him 'buddy you are pushing your luck' when he tried to 'negotiate' compensation for the last four years that he has missed out 'discussing' Yu-gi-oh with his friends!...good thing he is sooooo adorable......and got hooked on the 'comedy channel'.....YEAH.....TIME WILL WASTED is the word!

Well vacation went pretty well although I have learned that 10 days in Disneyworld is way too much. I never thought it was possible to hate Mickey Mouse but I actually do. DW was not too eventful except for one security incident in which police arrested a woman for trying to ride a specialized mountain bike up Space Mountain. The released a photo of her and I hate to say this but she was the UGLIEST woman I have ever seen. The only other real problem with the trip was that we got on It’s a Small World and the song was deafeningly loud. I was desperate to get off but before we got to the end, there was a mechanical problem so we had to sit in that boat and listen to that drone for over 30 minutes. Although I have no clear memory of the incident, at some point in a blind rage, I apparently ripped the head off a Swiss yodeling mouse. I am now banned for life from that ride. Gemela and I were doing well until 8/7 which was my Dday anniversary adjusted for time zone. I basically said I wanted out and that there was nothing left. For her part, I think she was actually trying to “Plan A” me. I was in a funk for a couple of days and then decided to just be as nice as possible because my pain was about to end – or so I thought.

We flew back to Miami to spend the night. 08/12/2006 04:00 is the last SF I thought I was ever going to have. Still might be. All part of Gemela’s Plan A. As we were leaving the hotel, DD1 started crying and saying she did not want Mommy to leave. We tried to calm her down. We got to the airport and curb checked the luggage for DDs and me and then went to check in Gemela at international. DD1 was crying and telling me she hated me and that she was going with Mommy to Mexico. DD2 said she wanted to go with me and was very calm. As we put WW’s suitcases on the scale, DD1 tried to pull them off. She couldn’t because they weighed 52 lbs each but she tried. She was upset and crying. It was painful. Then we walked over to the X-ray but sat down to talk before we put the bags through to try to calm DD1 down. The airline person told me that she was not happy documenting Gemela with DD1 so upset and that they would not allow DD1 to board a plane if she was so upset. Anyway, as we were talking, she begged me to not send her to Mexico and let her come to Houston with us. I really let loose on Gemela. I told her I never wanted to see her again. I was tired of doing everything she wanted. I needed to start thinking about me. I deserved better than a lying cheating adulterous (w)itch. All really good MB stuff as I am so well known for. I also told her I was sick and tired of hauling her 150 lbs of luggage all around the world. It is obscene what she takes. Nobody travels like she does. I told her she is no longer my problem. She wants to pool boy – she can have him. She is his problem now. She says she has really been trying the last six months since she stopped calling him. I said that was BS. She sat around and moped for a good four months and that maybe only the last two months she has put out any real effort. She agreed. Then I reminded her about the love letters. She said she meant to throw them away. I replied that good intentions pave the road to He!!. Even so, I was thinking maybe we could buy her a ticket and go to Houston. We were not shouting but DD1 was crying and upset. Did I mention I told Gemela that I detested her?

Anyway, things were actually beginning to calm down when Miami police came over to investigate the situation. They asked what was going on and then separated us and questioned us. This took about 30 minutes. Then the police got together and talked and a supervisor got involved. The policeman who questioned me had been betrayed by his wife and was divorced so he was sympathetic. The guy who interviewed Gemela told me I could not take the children with me without Gemela’s permission and she was not willing to give it. He told me she said she wanted to take the girls to Mexico. Later she told me that he misunderstood her. I asked her who was more likely to be telling me the truth. Regardless, we had a problem. So I asked if I bought Gemela a ticket to Houston would that solve their problem and they agreed it would. I did so. Later I told gemela I wanted a divorce and that I hated her and wanted my freedom. I was sick that she had manipulated the situation so much but was just typical. We did not speak much the rest of the trip. I think she is trying to develop a Plan A strategy. I told her today I will buy her a ticket to Mexico any time she wishes. That is where we are. Still together.

I am sure bigger is going to start swinging away with that 2x4 of his. I am not checking emails at the moment from my work account but I will check the hotmail account tomorrow.

[censored], Pio. That really sucks. I thought I had it bad when Toolman called DCF on me. At least the kids were sound asleep during the whole thing, and had a peaceful interview with the DCF worker later.

Involving the kids is the WORST!!!

Going back to my "running" analogy on adrianc's thread. (I won't repeat it) I felt like I could survive as long as I knew it was going to end. Yesterday changed everything for me. Just like the empty water jug at the 3k marker. I am still stuck with WW and cannot now figure out how to get rid of her. The policeman who interviewed her told me that, in his opinion, I should just divorce her and get legal rights for the kids.

I think the airport scene made this all very real to gemela - maybe for the first time.

I think that is it in a nutshell.

No. I complained about the SECOND Iville thread. Let's keep our facts straight.

LOL Luna:



see !

brevity is HARDer than it looks !!!

pep <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

2much,

Just read about the accident. I am glad the kids are "okay".

So what's the game plan from here?

Can you not drop WW off in front of Intercontinental, curb check her while DD's remain in car and take off?

Does she still want to go to Mexico sans DD's?

It's not clear to me why Miami's finest got involved. Is it to you?

Hi Pio,

Keep in mind.....heard somewhere that when a parent travels alone with kids under 18...and crossing borders.....need to have a letter with permission from the other parent to do so....apparently.... it's to catch cases of parents 'kidnapping' kids without the knowledge of the other parent.....so...you may not be out of the woods on this issue, yet!

....I know.....new kid on the block while you were vacationing......

....is there anyway for the girls not to SEE their mom getting on the plane alone?..... they already KNOW she is doing so....maybe the separation can take place elsewhere...where it will be less heart-wrenching....to avoid some of the 'emotional' escalation of the separation.....uhmmmm....hope you won't be offended.....this could apply to you, too!

No 2x4’s here….

Congratulations! You have finally gotten your post-affair marriage out of the rut! Finally you two are progressing!

OK – maybe not the way you expected but purging out the bad is necessary. Finally WW sees YOU have an option other than her. Finally she possibly can see the massive quantity of pain her affair caused. Finally you two are possibly talking together from the same level.

Now that might not lead to R but it could lead to solutions. Remember I once told you that when recovering from affairs relationships sometimes reach a plateau of “no pain” but also no progress? A situation where you can cope and tolerate each other but possibly by not rocking the boat or causing waves? Well – you two just plunged off that plateau.

I just hope you can get out of your funk fast enough to use this opening. I’m not too sure how but maybe a phone session with the Harleys?

BTW – use logic. Regarding cop’s comments on kids: as a father you have as much say on whether they leave with you or her. I think the cop was using misplaced authority to shock you to your senses.

And the comment about “just getting a divorce”. That has always been an option.

I got out of the funk. I am not upset or depressed in the least. But I do feel a strange sense of detachment. I am still willing to work on the marriage and would like to see us stay together. On the other hand I could put her on a plane tomorrow and I don't think I would miss her. It is weird this feeling but it is a good one. Gemela is hauling her own suitcases now. I don't have to carry them anywhere. She says she wants an opportunity to show me she can be a good wife and to win back my affections. I am leaving the ball in her court.

I didn't realize going from Miami to Houston was crossing borders but I forget how much Texans think of themselves so I can see that I was going to another country. The mistake was going to the airport together. In hindsight, I should have sent gemela on one day and then gone myself the day after. On the other hand, was it really a mistake? Only time will tell.

I did want to say that I was brutal in my verbal comments to gemela. Seeing my DD1 crying and reasoning and begging was terrible. I told gemela she owned this all by herself. I asked her if she was happy with what her infidelity had done. I really can't remember all I said but I cut her to the bone and fileted the rest. DD1 asked why I was separating the family. Gemela told her that it was her fault and not mine. She defended me to DD1 at every turn. I did tell her that this was difficult and that I knew neither one of us wanted to hurt the DDs but that was no reason to stay together. She said that is not why she is staying. She said she loves me and wants to be my wife. I asked why she kept a scrapbook of her affair. I offered to take digital photos of my HPV whelps to add to her album.

I have actually thought about taking that photo (suitably censored of course) and putting it beside a photo of OM and framing it and leaving it on the kitchen counter. If gemela does not shape up, I will definitely do it. Kind of a before and after. Gemela is afraid to get too near me right now because she knows she is hanging by a thread. She knows she has no more opportunities. I know it too. Amazing.

lemonman - if you read this, I would like your take as well. I don't know why I do but I do.