Yes you did mention it.

I have David's nose and David's lips as wall ornaments in my garden. I wonder what MPH would look like with them on.

You are a poet. Can I use that?

If I tell the truth, I am more hopeful about our marriage than ever before. I don't know why. Who is my wonder twin? That goes way over my head.

I think she means MPHTodd. I know he is in Atlanta.

Well I know Texas is big but it is not THAT big. Just don't tell a Texan that.

Hi Pio - Welcome back. Sounds like Gemela is softening to me. Could be wrong of course but I wouldn't be trying to drive her away at the moment if I was you.

Or is it Texican?

Don't even MENTION Texas.

I think being back in America will be the big difference. Away from everything that happened in Saudi.

I agree with BigK BTW (even if he is Australian). I think gemela might be getting it.

And, no it's not Texican.

BigK,

I am not trying to drive her away. I am still being a wonderful husband. I did have a day and a half of outburst but that is done and dusted. I am not as warm to her as I had been. It is funny to see how she reacts to that. She is like a moth to a flame. IMHO she is a broken woman.

You're not needy any more. That's very attractive to a WW.

You know you'll have to stop having these outbursts (both of you) in front of your girls. But you know that.

People in the suburbs always gripe about the big city. Interesting that NZ'ers do it about Australia too.

Oz has one more star on it's flag doesn't it? Remember the hotel analogy?

Yes I do.

It's friendly and affectionate rivalry. They think they're God's gift to everything - we know they're not. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

We have the Southern Cross on our flag, I think theirs is the number of states they have.

Yes I know about the girls. Seeing DD1 so hurt and in tears just infuriated me. I hated WW in that moment. Nobody hurts my DDs and gets away with it.

I believe that gemela knew that if she went to Mexico, our marriage was over. Basically that is what I had told her. I had told her that I knew she would revive the A there and that would be the last straw. She said she wouldn't. I said she was a proven liar. I said all this a few weeks ago. I think she was afraid to go to Mexico.

Is it true that all the women there are named Sheila and all the men are named Bruce? That has to get confusing.

Bwhahahahahahahahahahahha

Do we have a star for NZ??

Interesting Pio - Women are not drawn to needy men. The letting go by you is straight Dobson 101. Very interesting.

That is good. It's good you're still together.

FWIW I don't think she would revive the A. Seriously, pool boy probably doesn't even remember her. She was an adventure he had while he was away from the gloomy North of England.

Anyway, I have to go. Take care and make sure those girls don't see any more fights.

I owe all this to believer. I think she felt a little guilty but she may have saved this marriage. That and my courage. I say that hunbly but it did take a big leap on my part to get to where we are.

Things have changed. If I get to the airport and gemela's bag is overweight, I will remove enough things to get it back within limits and throw them in the trash. No discussion. Gemela has lessons to learn.

My conundrum for the moment is what to do about the full time maid. I hired her so I could lose gemela. Nowh what do I do? Infidelity - just one problem after another.

Yes I am off to bed too. I am not used to this time zone.

The important question I have Pio, is do you have the song, "It's A Small World" still stuck in your head? I had it between the ears for days. The only way I got rid of it was to listen to countless songs by Weird Al Yankovic. Trading one devil for another. What's that saying? Trade the devil you know for one you don't? Something like that.


Okay, is G still going to Mexico?

OK. Now I’ll start swinging the 2x4.

I guess an affair is the ultimate form of disrespect you can show your partner. No sensible person will suggest a revenge affair to get even. I’ll go a bit further and suggest that you don’t show your wife disrespect in order to get even. Treat your wife with respect – no matter what.

Having the argument was great! You really needed to rip into her. That was good. But enough is enough! Don’t pout or behave as she was a stranger. Like I say – Treat her with respect!

So she has a lot of baggage. Is now the right time to make an issue out of it? Wasn’t she expecting to be some months (or possibly forever) in Mexico? If your end-goal is to get a submissive and demoralized wife then I suggest you have spent too much time amongst the sand-dunes. Go buy her a Hijab.

Look – you are entitled to ONE of two (yes – only two) realistic options. Divorce/separate or reconcile. Neither one can be done half assed. Being able to accept either outcome is great and a good position to start off from BUT you can not reconcile/divorce thinking divorce/reconciliation is fine. You have to go totally committed to either cause and at least for the time being remove the other option from your head.

Now – I’m going to become an armchair psychologist for a minute... This has been suggested previously on one of your threads but... Is your W afraid of transformation? Is she afraid of getting old and unwanted? Is her having an affair with a younger man (toyboy – obviously no realistic future in affair), her need to lug around outfits, makeup and shoes for an army and so on all pointing to a fear of being “ugly” and therefore unwanted? This in turn could indicate confidence or self-aware issues. What is it your W wants out of the marriage? Why is she willing to risk it but is afraid to lose it? Try to get to the bottom of that rather than the bottom of her suitcase.