My memory is foggy but I think there some was mention of Brits with yellow teeth?

Anyway, a month before I moved out, WW rented the movie "Unfaithful". At least I think it was the name. Anyway, Richard Gere's wife has an affair with a single Spanish guy. WW used the movie to announce that if she ever had the opportunity to have SF with Gere that I would just have to understand. She lovingly laughed through every "love" scene in the movie between Gere's wife and her infidel.

I told her that of course she would expect me to understand if she had SF with Gere. She expected me to understand her SF with a total jerk and looser. Somehow, I was supposed to understand and accept Gere. Obviously, the chances of it happening are remote, but a girl can dream can't she?

According to my memory, the OM in "Unfaithful" was French.

Tod
I saw that movie, but I prefer Madison Bridges with Clin Eastwood and Glenn Glose...
By the way I bought it and my H said that it was because I had an A... and he got furious...
Have you see the movie?
I like it when I saw it for first time I have never a clue that I become a WS later...
I saw it several years ago..

I guess the name Martinez threw her. Anyway, I wouldn't want to tell her he was French and burst her bubble. Hey, wait, she wouldn't care one little bit. If she picked OM1 and OM2, her standards are pretty low. Who knows, she might even go for a Frenchman.

Hi regreted,

No, never saw Bridges Over Madison County. My W told me that Clint Eastwood cried in that movie. I will not pay good money to watch Clint Eastwood cry. I want to see him behind the sights of a .44 Magnum. Prefarbly hunting down OM.

As for Unfaithful, WW was just a little too enthralled with that movie to suit me. That's okay, if she ever wants to see it again, she will have to buy another copy. I filed the other one in the same filing bin that she filed SAA in.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

And I have to say that I am not a fan of Richard Gere. But I must admit that when he took that bowling ball or whatever it was and knocked the French guy with the Spanish name upside the head and killed him, well, for that one moment, I thought he was a pretty decent guy.

Todd, Clint Eastwood WAS the OM in that movie. It's an unbelievably icky movie and I thought that when I watched it very much pre-A. I've never watched Unfaithful and never intend to.

Pio, I can't believe gemela said "I don't know" when you asked her about Brad Pitt. That is just pathetic.

Yes. A well crafted lie might have gone down better. Maybe she is finally adopting radical honesty? She told me today she is homesick for Mexico. I asked her what is stopping her from going? I will gladly buy her a ticket. I told her I need a vacation from her. I still have feelings for her but if we continue on as we are doing nothing, it won't be long before I hate her. I told her to go to Mexico for an indefinite period of her choosing. I reminded her that, since her return ticket is on BA, she can even do an extended layover in the UK. I told her that she is making my life miserable and I would be happier without her than with her. Wait, what exactly is Plan A again? Where is my SAA?

In "Unfaithful," Olivier Martinez plays Paul, the man who turns Connie Sumners' (Diane Lane) head and leads her down an irresistible, dangerous path of infidelity and deceit. The character of Paul wasn't originally conceived as being French, however director Adrian Lyne felt instinctively that Olivier Martinez was perfect for the part.

"Olivier has a nice sense of humor. The fact that he's French adds another layer, too.

source of information

Well....for the curious....back from NYC....'safe and sound' ....and had a terrific time with boys....

In WS's weekly phone message, says he hoped we had a good time and had 'thought about us on the weekend'...not surprised....we used to 'enjoy' our family vacations.... must have brought back 'good memories'... this time he wasn't there!

....let him know that we 'missed him, too'... meaning: so, why the heck did you leave us? ....too proud?...wanting it all or nothing?

....of what I know of S/WS.....he never meant to 'leave' his family.....just wanted to ADD a mistress! ....reality of PLAN B is hitting him hard....not hard enough, though...

...just for the record...very proud of myself of how far I have come...one year ago...I was a 'classified' basketcase..

...I still have a lot of work....as one of my tools is 'avoiding' triggers.... still not seeing friends that we saw as a 'family'.... still haven't gone to our cottage.... as IT was our biggest family project.. although miss it very much....

been reading about PTSD.... and fallout of A definitely falls into category...

I see both of my boys...in various ways...turning to me for reassurance, security, and comfort....as they can't trust their dad.... don't think WS hads 'calculated in' the loss column.....

....so I am trying really hard to seem, if not be, the ROCK that they need....

....did tell you guys....that my beautiful two boys are my biggest motivators for 'keeping it together'?....and my dear aging parents?...for whom I don't want to become a burden as they have done enough in their lives and deserve a break ...my dear dear brother?....who I KNOW is in it over his head with family and work responsibilities... some of my dear friends?...who have GIVEN enough already....and ME....because I deserve to be treated better!

...sorry....I know... I am getting mushy.... and have gone way over my 10 lines limit.....FOR SURE!

Sorry, Pio, for the t/j..... I think it's supposed be your thread...hard to tell.....

by the way....always meant to ask.....what does the title mean: TKO?

Pio,

...the plan was that Gemela go to Mexico....now what is the plan?

...because otherwise....without a plan.....you are leaving a lot of room for reacting and DJs...as some of the exchanges you reported having with her suggest....



Yeap...back to the drawing board!

I am more guilty than anyone of T/Jing the thread. If you want to avoid triggers, don't buy the National Enquirer. Nothing but affairs.

Hi Pio,



..I am with you on that one.... don't know if I noticed them as much pre-A.....but definitely....post-A......there SEEMS to be more and more of them!

I am now reading the National Weekly News. I just finished a facinating article about how the US army is fighting vampires in Afghanistan. I am not reading about the millineum hourglass. It says we have less than 10 years left. That's encouraging. At least this infidelity stuff won't hurt much longer.

Well Pio, and others,

Thought I would let you know that I moved out of my's sons's place today. I am in a temporary holding pattern in a place uniquely called "extended stay". It's me and about eight other soon to be divorced guys. Don't have to drink alone for a while.

This is temporary. I cannot stay here too long. Grown men wondering around with that aimless, desparate look in their eyes, wondering what happened to their families. Met the guy down the hall already. We used to work for the same company but didn't know each other.

ToddAC: So, what brings you here?
Man: Divorce
Man: you?
ToddAC: me too
ToddAC: what happened?
Man: she had an affair, fell in love and that was the beginning of the end.
Man: you?
ToddAC: Me too.

No, it is indeed a small world after all no matter where you go. I have seen them in the hall already. In suit pants, wingtips and starched white dress shirts, sans ties. Lost. Bewildered.

Okay, why did I move? I could not take any more of DS1's French GF.

She and DS1 came in from dinner late the other night. We had a torrential rain earlier that evening. She walked through the door throwing objects of some sort and bit... er... complaining about something. DS1 tried to appease her and calm her down. She wouldn't. She started kicking things.

Finally, DS1 said: You act like it is someone's fault!

Do you know how when someone is talking about you and you have no idea they are talking about you but yet you know they are talking about you?

So, DS1 walks over to my computer room and asks: Dad, you didn't hear anybody knock at the door did you?

I beg your pardon?

You don't hear the UPS man knock at the door did you?

No. If I had heard the UPS man, or any other man, or any other gendered person knock on the door, I would have answered the door. (I obviously knew where this was heading and why and was not amused).

Well, GF UPS package sat in the rain and got soaking wet.

And?

Well, just wondering if you heard anyone knock at the door?

Do we have to go through this again?

So, the next day, without the French bombshell around, I surfaced our conversation again. I asked DS1 what the problem really is.

Well, you know, her package got wet and you staying here and all.

Oh. Let's ponder a question: is it me staying here or her staying here? She seems to be the one with the problem, not me.

I understand. She is spoiled.

She's French.

That too.

I'm moving out.

Okay.

So, that being the preamble, here am I with the other middle aged pre and post divorcees.

Happy as a pig in mud.

And all I can think about are two triggers, speaking of triggers.

One is the movie Unfaithful. I cannot tell you how much WW enjoyed the "love" scenes. After all that has happened, they made me sick.

And the other trigger and I don't know why it surfaced, but seeing OM's vehicle, or at least a vehicle like his.

Triggers are inexplicable I suppose. They torque us at some level we like to pretend doesn't exist.

Todd - I suggest you look for a house with some roommates. That would be a better situation. I had to take in roommates to make it, and it was a GREAT experience.

b, I don't think guys do as well with roommates.

Don't know. Too independent I suppose. Been on my own since 18.

My roommates have all been men, and it's almost like a family. The first ones, who moved out, come back weekly to visit.

Maybe you can find a female roommate.

Yeah, that's the ticket. Hey wait, no, that won't work. I no longer trust females.

Just kidding believer. Female roommates, hmm...

So who cooks? Or is it every person for themselves? I could cook but nobody would want me to cook the second time.

How many roommates do you have?

Here are some great reasons why people (of either gender) should line up to roommate with ToddAC:

He will cook – once!
You will learn a new word every day.
He has a clamp for all occasions.
His cold sarcasm is better than therapy.
With his memory you can always claim to have already paid the rent!

ToddAC; on a more serious note. Have you filed? Is there any reason not to? Has there been any attempt or effort to reconcile or is there any reconciliation in the future you can see?

BTW - I don’t really understand the bad rap France and all things French are getting in the USA. OK so they did not agree to Iraq but from what I remember from my history lessons then France was the first country to recognize the Colonies as a sovereign country. They also supported the rebel insurgents (Colonists) with money, arms and soldiers. They basically financed the new country in early days. Unlike the “friendly” English then French troops have never torched the White House (1812). Not that I’m complaining. The disdain for all things French has opened a new and exiting world of good red wines from Australia, South-Africa and Chile that was virtually unknown when the world was French-friendly.

I am fairly certain he pronounces his name OliveYAH MarteeNAY. Makes me sick.