T,
Before the tumor there were no signs that something was not well with WW?
To give you a sense of a timeline, here goes.
In 1999, her Mother, the saint on Earth if there ever was one, died. On the day of her Mother's funeral, approximately three hours before the funeral, I received a telephone call that my Mother had just died. It was traumatic for both of us, needless to say. My Mother's death was unexpected.
The next year, our youngest son finished high school a year early and went off to college. He is the closet son to her, the baby, and it hit her hard.
The same year, I quit work because I could not longer concentrate hence I was not being productive.
About the same time all of this was going on, she started menopause.
We knew something was wrong with my health because of the way I felt and clinical signs such as hyponatremia. I also had chronic, debilitating headaches.
The headaches were initially diagnosed as sinus headaches. This persisting for a couple of years or so. Then my doc said they could be pressure headaches and occur when the weather switches from a low pressure to high pressure front, or vice versa.
Finally, I visited him one day and told him something was wrong and he needed to figure it out. He sent me for a CT. The CT was clear. The hospital doctor referred me to a neurologist who specializes in migraine headaches. Sure enough, I was diagnosed with migraines. Finally I had a diagnosis.
Problem is, it was still the wrong diagnosis. My doc erred when he ordered a CT; he should have ordered an MRI. CT's are not effective in detecting soft tissue tumors.
Finally, in August 2005, I was rushed to the ER suffering from delusions, inability to walk and zombie like behavior. I went into a coma and the team of doctors gathered my family and advised them to make their peace and say goodbye to me. I was diagnosed with pneumonia, pericardial effusion and severe hyponatremia of 114. Levels below 115 are associated with death, hence the doctors' opinion of my prognosis.
My family did as instructed and they all went to the cafeteria afterwards. Everyone but my middle son who is a spitting image of me in every regard. He witnessed me in an unconscious state having a conversation with Death. I fought and resisted and finally I said: Okay, Death, is that you? I will go with you.
Well, it freaked me son out and he started screaming: Dad, don't go, stay here we love you, we need you. I stayed there although I have no memory of any of it. I finally awoke four days later.
A number of doctors came to examine me in ICU and ask me quesitons. The neurologist and a endocrinilogist both told me they believed I had a brain tumor the manifestation of which were the headaches, the stupor and hormone imbalances.
I finally got the MRI that I had always needed. I will never forget the doctor when he entered my room with a serious, deadpan face. He walked to my bedside with the envelope containing the MRI film in his hands. His simple words: you have a large tumor.
Large I asked?
4 cm. It is not in a good spot.
Talk about your heart sinking. He had already arranged for a neurosurgeon to visit me. He did and quickly elimated surgery as an option and even a biopsy as an option. Radiation would be the treatment. If it was not successful, well, you can guess the rest.
I don't know exactly when my WW started her affair. I figure about four years ago. Do I understand that she felt pressure of all the events that colluded that seem to have as its sole purpose to drive both of us crazy? Absolutely.
I "knew" for along time that she was having an affair and knew with whom. Because of my condition, and my hormones scrambled so badly, I could not confront her. But I knew. We had been married a long time and you learn about your spouse over that period of time.
After I confronted her and later after she finally confessed, I asked her way. Her answer: because I thought you were dying. Her answer was a cop out of course, but nonetheless, it was her answer, however unfortunate.
I found MB and another infidelity website. I gravitated to the other website until Bigger suggested that I visit MB again and specifially Pio's thread. My first reaction was why did he suggest I read Pio's thread. After reading the entire thread over a few days, it occurred to me that Pio and I had a lot in common. Both our wives are Latinas, we both have analytical minds and share a black sense of humor.
Anyway, what was the question?
Please forgive my many typos. The tumor has also affected my vision and that coupled with terrible mechanical keyboarding skills, well, you get the picture.
