Okay now I am going to give you a swat. Stop complaining and do something about it. Don't suggest the car wash. Get the hose and soap out and do it (with the kids) and then drag H out. He'll go.

I will test your theory for a week without c/o if given the opportunity and report back to you. I warn you that I will most likely be venting much more to keep my sarcastic mouth out of trouble. I think that my marriage would have a much better chance if I were clubbed and woke up with amnesia starting a fresh history and reuiniting with H as if for the first time...perhaps that will be a new MB techinque if it is successful for me????

Try it for four weeks and vent here all you want. Just remember that you will probably have to drag H into activities - especially at first. No LBs or DJs please. We have a deal.

Wow, Steve Irwin has been killed by a stingray. The ray's stinger pierced his heart and he died a short while later.

This is incredibly bad news. He was so full of enthusiasm, knowledge and spirit. He will be sorely missed.

OMG those poor little kids. The little boy will never remember his father either. I know from personal experience.

Sad thing is his death will probably be grieved more overseas than here at home in Australia - my wife thinks. I disagree. He was a great man and a great ambasador for his country. He loved his wife and kids. RIP Steve Irwin.

Well crikey, I know I'll miss him.

Getting back to the 33 foot tree height, I wonder if trees have an internal mechanism similar to peristalsis. That would remove the height restriction.

Capillary pressure is out of the question and my only other theory is the possibility that the upper portions of trees receive their water as water vapor via partial pressure driven diffusion through an internal capillary where it is then transported via osmosis into the cellular structure of the limbs and leaves. While I can accept this conceptually, I struggle with the efficiency.

This is all, of course, based on the hypothesis that trees need water. I think I will go research peristalsis in cellulose structures.

Very sad...I'm sure he will be missed by many but no more than his wife and boys...although his job was fun and educational it was extremely high risk, at least the way he passionately performed. Our loss, heavens gain...imagine how lively it's gonna be there now?

Deal...

Score one for Pio...once I mentally agreed to his plan last night I texted H and apologized for being an a$$ on the phone...listed what triggered it and then waited. No return text but I calmly read a book after sending kids to bed. 30 min after I sent text H comes home smiling, kisses me on the mouth...unheard of (haven't kissed on mouth for months and prior to all the D-days only pecked each other for years except for SF)...H happily thanked me for the appology, stated that was all he was waiting for...we talked for 10 min and then he put a movie in for us to finish watching (started it 2 day ago)...

H called this am from work asking me if he could pick me up something I have been needing for weeks...

Ok Pio, I'll give it 4 weeks and will tell the stormtrooper personality of mine to go into hiding...thanks for your advice and support...beware!

Deal...

Score one for Pio...once I mentally agreed to his plan last night I texted H and apologized for being an a$$ on the phone...listed what triggered it and then waited. No return text but I calmly read a book after sending kids to bed. 30 min after I sent text H comes home smiling, kisses me on the mouth. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" />..unheard of (haven't kissed on mouth for months and prior to all the D-days only pecked each other for years except for SF)...

H happily thanked me for the appology, stated that was all he was waiting for...we talked for 10 min and then he put a movie in for us to finish watching (started it 2 day ago)...

H called this am from work asking me if he could pick me up something I have been needing for weeks...

Ok Pio, I'll give it 4 weeks and will tell the stormtrooper personality of mine to go into hiding...thanks for your advice and support...beware! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

piojitos
Can you take a look of my last post? in "leaving all.. and starting my self recovery first? and give me your opinion?

I'll go look for it

Hi all,

Hey Todd, how are you doing? Are you getting the Puerto Rican treatment for sore heart?

lol

Hope you're feeling well

Schuss*

Hi larousse,

The PR treatment for sore heart? The PR treatment caused the sore heart. Hmm... hair of the dog equals the cure.....?

Things have calmed down considerably. One key is that WW is not drinking.

She gave me the prepaid cell phone that she had tucked away in her glove box. She forgot to erase text messages and there are five messages awaiting in voice mail. Of course, I viewed the text messages; one was last month to wish OM Happy Birthday. Recall that WW claimed she had not had contact in any way since I moved out. I already knew it was a lie but this puts a date on this contact. The other message was an old one wishing OM a Happy New Year. The minutes are gone but I will call to add more tomorrow. First order of business will be to listen to the five voice mails.

Several months ago, I called my PI and asked if he could get detail call records for a prepaid phone. He said no, that's why drug dealers and cheating spouses use them. The juxtaposition of the two operatives was not lost on me.

Bigger said, or at least I think he said, that WW and I are off the plateau. I have no idea where we are, perhaps on the "plane of lethal flatness". Anybody have a compass and a map?

So, things are calm for the moment. There are a lot of burned out bridges between here and recovery and many conversations, honest ones hopefully, to be had. I am not hopeful. The truth does not come easily for WW.

Well record all the messages, etc. but also save the phone number list.

Yeah I will and just add everything to my infidelity file. I had to buy a 250G external hard drive to archive it all.

LOL...glad to hear you are hanging in there.

I posted a really thoughtful and sensitive post to you this am wondering how things were with you and it appears it went into the MB black hole...sorry

Let me ask 2 Q's for anyone wanting to respond:

1) should I still be trying to f/u on H or should I quit trying to snoop for the 4 wk trial I agreed to with Pio?

2) if I should continue to snoop can you tell me how a person goes from 1500 TM/mo averaging 30 calls a day and 50-75 TMs per day to at least 10-15 different #'s in and outgoing to suddenly on a particular date the only calls and text that show on the bill are my cell #, our home # and possibly 2-3 other single TM or call to other # in past week. H says he told everyone to schedule appt's through the office and not call/TM him. I have a hard time swallowing this since there was no gradual taper and the fact that he has been talking about how he talked to so and so but the calls don't show up on the cell and before he gave me his cell password he was talking to this friend and her husband over 20+ times per day. H has been going to this friends house nightly in the very late eve until early am...I find it interesting that if he was using his cell to talk to this friend and her husband before why would he tell them not to use his cell unless...
a) he is using a prepaid cell phone
b) he has a new phone service and calls are forwarded to the new service
c) some other high tech method I am not aware of

Any suggestions, intel, advice? It just doesn't make sense but of course I don't want to address it until I know what is really goinng on. I hate this...

Hi 2much, sorry I haven't been commenting on your sitch, I've been reading but I haven't really got any advice. You're getting very good advice from Pio and the others though. Just wanted to acknowledge you and let you know I was thinking of you.

I agree about this thread. It's great until Pio t/js it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I just finished a long conversation with WW. It started with WW asking me did I want to get back together. I told her it would not be a decision point but would involve a process. The process would include her talking about her affair, the reasons she got into it, what would be different in the future and some misgivings I had about staying married to her.

I decided to bring a hammer to the conversation; WW brought a flamethrower and a crowbar. As I tried to hammer nails and build bridges, she used the flamethrower to burn more bridges. And she used the crowbar to pull out nails I had just hammered in.

Here's the Reader's Digest version. She didn't have an affair. She hasn't talked to OM, or attempted to communicate with him in any way in over a year. Recall the two text messages I pulled off her prepaid phone, the same type used by drug dealers because the calls cannot be traced? So, instantly she started with lies. I was mindful of Pittman's description of the need for a WS to answer questions truthfully but also recall that he said that a WS who enounters a drunk BS with a machinegun may do well to lie. Love his sense of humor.

So, nothing to drink and no machinegun. No flareups, no angry outbursts. I was a man. I thought of Rob honestly. I was Rob. I was Superman. No emotions. It served no useful purpose.

She continued to emit one lie after another. There was no sex, no touching, no oral, no foreplay - nothing. I asked her was it an EA? She said yes that was all but it was only one way, that he was in love with her. I reminded her that he was a racist and according to XW's own words, one of the groups he hated was Puerto Ricans. I asked her how she could submit herself to a man that hates the very ethnic group from whence she comes. She said that you don't think about things like that when you are having an affair.

Okey dokey.

I put the hammer away. I told her the only chance we had was for both of us to see IC and MC. She reminded me that she thinks all therapists are crazy. I also told her she needs to write a NC letter to OM, which I would approve and mail. She said there is no reason to send such a letter because there is no contact. I kept my powder dry.

We ended our conversation cordially. I have no doubt she thinks she has pulled the wool over my eyes. I have no doubt that she will never tell the truth.

But for some reason, I cannot stop thinking about DS3 crying like a baby.