I'm going to answer to Nam here and she'll have to look for my answer tomorrow, hehe.

My boyfriend maybe upgradding his status to fiance, mine of course, haven't you heard of Latina's jelousy?

How do I know, well he asked me if there were in Mexico these machines where you put a coin and you get a candy or a chewing gum and a small present. He specifically asked if there were that kind of machines with rings and gum. I guess he wants to chew the gum, to lower his stress, before or while putting the nice ring in my left hand.

Do you think I'm assuming too much? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" />

Well considering my past experiences, I almost don't want him to ask mee to upgrade him of status.

When the first man asked me to marry him, his b*tt was exposed because I was desinfecting him after a cirugical operation on his back side, talk about private, unforgetable moments.
He's dead now and no, it was not my doing.

The second one was some kind of post relationship marriage petition. We were close to the end of our relationship and he said that he would even marry me. I assumed he didn't say it in a romanttic, meaninful way and he assumed I was not interested.
Yeap, he's dead too, not my doing either.

So now I have this funny American, almost italo-american, his mother's parents were both italian and he keeps romancing me with love, tenderness, and funny stuff.

What's a girl gonna do?

He moved to a sub-suburban house recently, that I haven't seen yet and he tells me about the deer that visit his place, to prove to a city girl like me that deer walks freely by his house, he bought a big bag of corn for animals and put the corn in his yard.

One week later the deer and all the deer family were there.

Link to Deer family, blur web cam pics

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Todd, I'll look something up for you tomorrow.

Time to go.

He!!, just kill him like you did the other two.

Thanks Jen.

There's a Mexican restaurant two blocks from here. On Friday nights a roving band plays. I will tip them to play Lambada. And eat. And drink beer.

Bye Kiwi

Todd, there is an easy one and spicy. Mole con pollo.

Buy like half chiken so you have bones, lol, for taste and the leg part to go with the mole.

In the Mexican food stores, look for mole rojo or green, both are taste, the green has more seeds, grinded or almond mole, there are several kinds, you try what looks more appealing to you. I like green and black, black comes from Oaxaca, the state where Regreted is from. Black mole has cacao in it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

If there is not great variety of moles in the store for sure you will find Mole Doña María.

You put the chicken to boil, as little as you want, I mean if you don't want to buy half chicken, just two legs and thights. You put 1/4 onion and 1 or 2 garlic, 1/2 tea spoon of salt. Not too much salt because the mole has some.

You put it to boil until the chicken is tender. Usually people just disolve the mole into half litter of 'caldo'.
With black or red mole I put a red tomate to 'grill' a little the fire, let the sking to get a little bit brown, and then you licufy it with the caldo. You put the mole you bought in the store in a pan, the caldo, with or without tomate, and when it starts to disolve you move it a little to help it to disolve better, you let it boil a very low fire some minutes. The consistency of mole is not very fluid, not stiky either, hard to describe. Enough to look like a dense cream but with enough fluidity to cover the chicken.
When the mole is ready you can either put the legs inside of the mole in the pan or serve the leg previously cooked with or without sking, and cover it generously with the mole. You serve with white rice. Mexican white rice is done frying a little the rice, no precooked rice, until it seems a little transparent, you add two cups of water for cup of rice. One tea spoon for cup of rice. One garlic per cup of rice and you cover the pan and put it to low fire for 10 minutes. Add fresh cilantro, like four 'ramas' per cup of rice. You let it cook for twenty minutes more or until the water is consumed and you can see the bottom of the pan if you introduce a fork or a spoon. You don't stir the pan once the rice is cooking.

Usually two or three big spoons of white rice with generous amount of mole over a chicken leg.

If you can find Mole veracruzano with plátano try it. It's not very commun, not outside of Veracruz, it's delicious. Either that or black or green mole.

Is it me or does larousse's love life sound a lot like the movie "So I Married an Axe-murderer"?

Pio, please the English word for Epazote?

never heard of it. My "larousse" says herbal tea.

BTW, if you are planning to mary an American and live in the USA (assuming you have a Mexican passport), my advice to you is travel to the USA for "tourism" and then get married there. Do NOT get married outside the USA and then apply for a green card. The latter is the legal way which is what we did. I strongly advise against it. Break the law and get married as an illegal. It will save you thousands of dollars and tons of heartache. This was one of those cases where I truly regret obeying the law.

Pio...one of my top 10 favorite movies!!! Yes it does sound similar. I LOL just thinking about that movie and the surreal size of the coffee cup...not to mention his stage poems, the music and the ending with the drum/cymbals.

I have to ask how one is supposed to move forward in recovery or if they are even in recovery if those pre-requisites are not being addressed or complied with. If the WS is not willing to be transparent or if they are only giving bits of transparency in select areas how are you supposed to move forward. My MC tells me I need to be patient that WS behaviors will take time to change and if I insist on 100% honesty/transparency at this point I will be setting myself up for disappointment b/c it doesn't happen that way.

For now, thanks to Pio's smacking me with a 2x4 and telling me to quit whining I have given up snooping and am just assuming the worst and trying to behave at my best despite what goes on. A little preview of what I'm hearing: "have you met any hot guys at your new job?" "so has X put his xxxxxxcensoredxxxxxxx in you yet?" When I asked if saying these things makes him feel better he says yes. I have no idea where this is coming from except that I had to deal with it for years when he had insecurity issues. Things have changed drastically for him in the past year and I thought with all of his accomplishments, kudos and cult of admiring OWs he had boosted his self esteem and self-confidence. I am worried that if he truly has cut ties with all OWs that he is not getting his admiration/affirmation needs met and that is why I'm starting to hear this stuff again. I don't know how to meet them since he is never here. Any suggestions would be welcome.

This behavior is interspersed with sincere thank you's, kind remarks and overall more efforts to try and be more present in conversation and in person. Now, when I say more present this means us spending about 15-30 minutes together at the very end of day.

So, basically...how do you re-establish any trust if you don't have anyway to validate what you are seeing/hearing? Any books, exercises etc?

I will admit to having seen it but I wouldn't dare put it in my top 10. Are you Canadian by any chance eh?

Ok embarassing movie confessions, one of my favorite movies of all time is Ground Hog Day. I have a reason though. I used to travel all the time. I bet I easily spent 200 nights a year in hotels. I did absolutely nothing constructive on those nights. My hotel nights were kind of like Ground Hog Day. That movie came out and I saw the simplicity of it. From then on I challenged myself to something productive on each and every trip. I always ask myself that if I could live a day over and over, how would I spend it? I also enjoyed the evolution in Bill Murray's thought process.

In fact, I am sure that someone here could even draw a parallel to the movie and Plan A since, effectively that's what happened. Once he stopped trying to manipulate the outcome, he got what he wanted. But that part is too deep for me.

OK, caught up. Phew, no small task.

Me mad? Just 'cause I love wooden shoes & I could see you were headed towards bashing them? No, I don't think so.

I read the link on infidelity & I wish there was a way to send it to ex anonymously. He wouldn't see anything in there that pertains to him because he denied the affair therefore it didn't happen. Parellel to no exposure = no affair. Is it an affair if he moved in with gf two weeks after D was final? I think he "waited" because of the appearance of moving "too" quickly. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

There was so much brutal truth in. I wish there was one written for the woman adulterer.

My favorit parts: Grow up & take F...responsibility for yourself.
Put in the same effort that got you the results you liked you'll likely get those same results.
Understand & love what happens to a woman's body after giving birth to your kids.
You will lose the respect of your kids.
Your kids will figure it out all on their own.


Todd - you've said your WW fears being alone. How can you trust her to be honest with you, & herself, about meeting your essential criteria if she's speaking from a place of fear?

My biggest stumbling block (even if I had the chance I wanted to truly reconcile) was how do I love the man who lied, ripped apart me & our family, acted selfishly etc.? Turns out I couldn't

You need a crock pot Todd. Very easy to get home cooked, comfort type foods. Throw tasty stuff in, let flavors blend for hours. Have a couple of easy to cook side dishes & there you have it, a home cooked meal. Cook for your sons. For me it's never fun to cook for myself.

Lastly, for now. A new career in pottery? Good if you don't need money to live. Bad if you do. Great lifestyle, great people, little money. Plus, most potters I know have to teach as well (which I love) & male students are slow learners.

larousse, yikes! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Two dead men! How did you get way with it? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" /> Could be useful information. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

A strange question for your BF to ask - the one about machines with rings. You must know him well enough to at least suspect he's got marriage on his mind.

Why do you want him to remain a BF? Can't only be the two previous men you killed.

What a lovely marriage proposal. He would EVEN marry you. Wow, sounds like he was preparing himself for a life of sacrifice.

Your current (non-dead) man feeds the deer!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Tell him to STOP immediately! He will have a deer problem for YEARS & they will be eating everything he has ever had growing in his yard that he even remotely cares for. Right now it's endearing, next year he'll want to toture them.

*get ready for an Italian bash*

Be careful of Italian momma's boys.

Pio - I like Ground Hog day too. No personal reason such as yours but just because Bill Murry is funny.

Have you seen Galaxy Quest? That is one movie I have watched more than once & still laugh at.

Sounds like you're doing everything right in terms of feeding your daughters. They want candy & chips for breakfast? Absolutley fine! Makes my boys happy.

If you want something easy & kinda fun try cheese fondue. My oldest loves to make it & his brothers love to eat it. I like the social aspect of it.

Hi Kiwi - I don't want to ingnore you even if the others do.

Is anyone on here remotely related to the career choice field? I'm in a quandry & need some guidance & since anything seems to go here it seems like the appropriate place to ask.

Not per se but I have hired and managed many people over the years. I am known for my career guidance and helping people get ahead. I will help you if I can.

That's IT! Man, I haven't had crock in YEARS! Love it. My mother used to make crock every single night.

Feeds deer, huh? Just trying to sound romantic. On the more practical side, have you heard of lyme disease?

Qalaxt Quest. Tim Allen? Yes I have seen it but I have a personal thing against Tim Allen. I guess it was the drugs and lack of repentance. Not exactly my favorite role model.

The Dutch gave us sabotage with their wooden shoes (sabot). You have to respect a people who can invent something so useful. Have you ever tried to run in wooden shoes? I have. WW bought us each a pair. I promise you that you will never see the Dutch win any medals in the Summer Olympics.



Absolutely. The hope is that that person goes away and someone else returns. Could I love gemela again? Can lightning strike twice in the same place? It has been mathematically proven that it can. Do I love the person gemela currently is? Absolutely not. Nobody in their right mind could.

Late breaking crisis:

DD2 and DD1 got in a big fight. DD1 apparently lost a ski cap for her Bratz a while ago and DD2 gave one of hers to DD1. Now DD2 wants it back. DD1 says that isn't fair since it was a gift. DD2 says she likes the cap and it was hers. I could have gone all day without this.

Because I love my H, I want to spent m y life with him. I want our happiness, I want to keep my family together.. I realized how good man is my H, (even his bad humor of sometimes)
I want to stay with him until my death,,,

Okay. I asked you this before. What will you do if you cannot keep your M?

I following with my life.. with my son..
And in my heart my H would stay forever...