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ToddAC #1689158 09/10/06 04:43 PM
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His brothers mentioned his eating habits

Nams, I'm sure they did. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Todd, good for you. I wouldn't let it out of my hands.

bigkahuna #1689159 09/10/06 04:44 PM
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Thanks BigK.

Yes, they are my pride and joy.

KiwiJ #1689160 09/10/06 04:44 PM
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Anyway, I really have to go. I'm at work.

nams #1689161 09/10/06 04:46 PM
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Thanks Nams.

Well, I don't know.... remember, I have been "seasoned" a few years more than they, lol.

And yes, I agree that without LG, LF is, well.....a little feat.

ToddAC #1689162 09/10/06 05:02 PM
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Don't you know Todd that "seasoning" equals character?

Did you buy the painting because you like it or because of its potential as an investemnt? If you consider this a rude question Todd feel free to not answer.

Do you have any thoughts on my employment quandry?

What gets me excited is the idea of teaching art. Elementary ed, well, I like the younger kids & think I could be a decent teacher but I don't have the same level of excitment as I do when I think about teaching art.

The unfortunate thing about that is the school is so far & there are fewer job openings for art teachers. I could cross qualify. Loads of work.

The reasons I'm leaning toward education is my background & with summers off I can be with my boys & be able to do my pottery. They've had enough dumped on them & I'd like to keep their lives as much the same as I can. Plus, I d like to be with them when they're out of school as much as possible. Helps avoid after school boredom & getting into trouble.

Just when I think I've made up my mind to go for teaching art I start to feel it's not practical enough & my head starts to spin.


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ToddAC #1689163 09/10/06 05:07 PM
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Handsome boys, Todd. What type of scientist is your son? It's nice they do a range of different things too.

Did anyone else watch the tv show, "Northern Exposure" 10-15 years ago? There was a character named Maggie who was afraid to get a boyfriend, because every boyfriend she had died a bizarre, accidental death. Makes me think of larousse... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

nams #1689164 09/10/06 05:21 PM
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Yes Kiwi they mentioned the eating habits in that brutal sort of boy way.

YS is quite sensitive. I hurt his feelings today & feel terrible about it.

He was watching Sponge Bob. SB is playing the quitar & singing & YS says "YA know, SB would make a good musician." Well, I just cracked up at the absurdity of that when YS says "I didn't mean in real life." Again, I cracked up. Poor, sweet thing got a little teary because I laughed at him. I apologized but still...his sweet little feelings...

We do not have the proper tools to fix the lawnmower. OS called ex who will provide the tools Tues. when he picks them up for his "visitaion" time.

ex seems perfectly happy to visit with his sons VS living with them full time. Though I offered for him to see them when ever he would like. I made it clear he's welcome to stop in to see them whenever but as he said how would he get all his stuff done.

Excuse my bitterness please. He does provide as he was ordered to & does see the boys two days a week & every other weekend. I have a hard time understanding how part time dad works out fine.


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nams #1689165 09/10/06 06:10 PM
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I don't know ToddAC. Something doesn't add up. I looked at those photos and I don't see a GWTW doll anywhere. Could you have been exaggerating?

nams #1689166 09/10/06 06:19 PM
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Don't you know Todd that "seasoning" equals character?

Okay then, I have a lot of character.

"Did you buy the painting because you like it or because of its potential as an investemnt? If you consider this a rude question Todd feel free to not answer."

As for offending me, it takes a lot. You have got to do waaaay better than that. I waked into an art gallery in the next town. The painting was on a display easel. I bought it on the spot and honestly, knew nothing about the artist. The gallery owner did and filled me in and I researched further from there. So I bought it because I fell in love with the painting. I have since taked to Mr. Kuhnert on the phone. He is in his sixties and quite a chap. One of these days, when I am able, I am going to do a driving tour of California. I will definitely go and meet him. And hopefully buy him a drink, lol.

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Do you have any thoughts on my employment quandry?

I apologize. WW called me today and wanted to get together and "talk". Allow me to interpret. Talk means she talks. It doesn't mean we discuss things. Anyway, as she drove here to pick me up, Pio's words of "use your intellect" rang in my ears. Also, my oldest son's admonition to think like a chess player. So I did. I decided to give WW wide berth, in fact, infinite berth and get things off her chest.

Predictably, she started in on my exposing her. It was unfair and it has caused her great shame. I listened without uttering a word. Also I moved and stranded her to face the tornado alone. She was also "kidding" about OM3. In her mind, OM2. She has always loved me and would never have cheated if I had not got sick. She was lonely and scared. OM1 said and did the right things. He complimented her. She reminded me if you don't take care of your crops, someone else will.

A funny thing happened during her monologue. I realized that I am no longer in love with her. Was it the sting of her cheating and my reaction to it? Or was it that I had built a wall around myself, i.e., I am a Rock? I quickly decided that it doesn't really matter. Sitting across from her, I genuinely felt sorry for her. She had always leaned on me for I was always the strong one. When I was ill, in her mind, I was weak and she turned to a man she saw as strong. I had heard it all before.

She finally wound down and asked me what I thought. I told that there are levels of betrayal and while I understand that my illness must have been frightening to her, her betrayal under those condiions represented the lowest form of betrayal imaginable. I reminded her that OM1 is a philanderere, a serial predator. She agreed but said that he really did love her. I asked her if she thought all his OW felt the same way. She said no. I dropped that part of the discussion.

I asked her what she wanted to do. She said she wanted to R. So, I gave her the conditions upon which, and only upon which, a R was possible. She balked at the first one. She claimed that she is no longer in contact with OM1. I told her be that as it may, I still want her to send the letter. She refused. Next, I told her that we both needed to get in IC and MC. Again, she refused. She reminded me that all therapists are crazy and all they want is your money. So, I gave her the next condition: transparency. Again, she refused. She told me she is not going to have me checking up on her. I asked her how she planned to restore my trust in her. She said I needed to get over it. I thought of an additonal condition I forgot to post earlier: no friends who are not friends of the marriage. She retorted: IOW, you don't want me to be friends with BF or BF#2. I said that is correct. Again, she refused. I told her those conditions are the necessary minimum for me to even agree to attempt R again. She was stunned.

I don't know why she wants to R or says she wants to R. Perhaps because of the kides, especially DS3. She claims she still loves me. Oh, she went one step further: she is still in love with me. I never said much, stayed in listening mode.

While we were driving, every time she saw a vehicle of the type and color that OM1 drives, she would almost break her neck trying to see if it was he. I soon tired of that. She brought me back "home" and I told her the conditions to R are cast in stone and that she needed to go away and think about how badly she wants to R.

She asked me if I still loved her. I told her that I loved her but I was no longer in love with her. I told her that I didn't know if I could ever regain that "in love" feeling again, that she had hurt me deeply with the most basic betrayal one spouse can do to another. She cried. I was unmoved. I encouraged her to go away and think about the conditions and how much she truly wanted to R. She left.

Now, nams, sorry didn't mean to launch into such a long story but my time with WW occupied most of my afternoon. I will reread your post and offer some feedback as soon as I eat, okay? Sorry for the delay.

GrownUp #1689167 09/10/06 06:25 PM
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Thanks GrownUp.

DS2 is a geologist, specifically a mineralogist. He had known that was wanted he wanted to do since the fourth grade. At this point with only an undergrad degree, he quickly learned that employment is limited. He works for an environmental engineering and consulting firm doing field tests and studies. Since he loves the outdoors, he is very happy. He plans to enroll in Georgia Tech and get a masters in engineering. I am not clear on which discipline yet.

He is also a very serious rock hound and has an impressive rock and mineral collection.

nams #1689168 09/10/06 06:30 PM
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Yes I am extremely proud of them.

... said the father....with a big smile on his face, I am sure....as you should be, Todd!

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The art work over the fireplace is GORGEOUS.


I am with Kiwi....it caught my eye, too.

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Luna - my boys are 15, 12 & 11.


Thanks, Nams.....BOY! ...three boys....guess they must be a handleful sometimes!

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What gets me excited is the idea of teaching art.....think I could be a decent teacher but I don't have the same level of excitment as I do when I think about teaching art.


Even though you're asking Todd....and that I may not be totally up to date with your dilemna.....to me, Nams, this says it all! ...and you will do yourself...and those 'younger kids' a favour at the same time...

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Just when I think I've made up my mind to go for teaching art I start to feel it's not practical enough & my head starts to spin.


....well...go lie down for a few minutes...it will stop spinning sooner or later....

....maybe it's just a bit out of your 'comfort zone'....so what?? ...you'll get over it.... be an inspiration to your boys...go for your dreams!


XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
piojitos #1689169 09/10/06 06:32 PM
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I don't know ToddAC. Something doesn't add up. I looked at those photos and I don't see a GWTW doll anywhere. Could you have been exaggerating?

Lol. No, not exaggerating. Wish I was. I would hate to think how much money "I" put into GWTW dolls over the years. And that doesn't even count other dolls like those made by Fayzah Spanos. And all the other Madame Alexander dolls. She has every Puerto Rican doll ever made by MadameA. The list goes on and on. I don't have any pics but will see if WW does. It is quite a sight to see.

ToddAC #1689170 09/10/06 06:43 PM
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The painting was on a display easel. I bought it on the spot and honestly, knew nothing about the artist.


Todd....you may have 'character'....but you also got a lot of taste!

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I encouraged her to go away and think about the conditions and how much she truly wanted to R.


I think you did good, Todd. The ball is in her court! She needs to go home and 'digest it'......

Todd...is this the house that lost the roof to a tornado?


XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
ToddAC #1689171 09/10/06 06:56 PM
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I was thinking the same thing as Pio about the dolls, but was too polite to ask..

Todd, your W does sound like she's being more honest than before -- at least she's admitting to the affair now and admitting why she did it, as low as it was. I think you should get a medal for talking to her at all. Goes to show how much you love your boys.

I understand why people love geology, though I've never been into it that much myself. But, I saw a job the other day making me wish that I were a geologist. It's at Cambridge going over all of Darwin's geology notes and original specimens from the Voyage of the Beagle.

Your son is right that there's not much employment opportunity in science without advanced degrees. I'm trained as a biologist, though I've been out of it for several years now. I've been a stay-at-home-mom for the last 7 years. I hope your son finds of way of continuing to work in the area.

lunamare #1689172 09/10/06 07:15 PM
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No problem Todd, take your time. I appreciate your take on this & your willingness to help me.

I'm so sorry you're in the throes of the infidelity mess.

I too had a moment when I looked at then H & thought, I just don't love you. I found I could only take so much lying, selfishness & all the rest. Not that it was up to me whether we would stay married or not but it does make things clearer when you don't feel the pull of love.

My IC told me then h was doing me a favor by wanting to D. He was right.

How nice you got in touch with the artist of your beautiful painting.

I have my work in a cooperative gallery which means all the member artist work the gallery. This means we get to talk to people about our work. It's so rewarding to have people admire my work & want it in there home. My work is not on the scale of your artist. Mostly I make funtional stuff, a couple of naked ladies thrown in now & then.

luna, three boys can be a handfull but I wouldn't have it any other way.


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nams #1689173 09/10/06 07:32 PM
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It's so rewarding to have people admire my work & want it in there home


Nams....whatever you choose to do.....you will have to work this in....somehow!

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luna, three boys can be a handfull but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I never thought I would say this...but I am jealous....I only have TWO beautiful boys ...too late to change that now...and don't get me started talking about them...suffice to say....I ADORE MY TWO BOYS! ...and I feel privileged to see them blossom as the years go by....and shower them with hugs and kisses....as much as they can tolerate it!

....like Todd...would probably do just about anything for them!


XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
lunamare #1689174 09/10/06 07:55 PM
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I will reread your post and offer some feedback as soon as I eat, okay?


Todd (or Nams)...since I would very much like to 'catch up' on Nams' dilenma....would you be able to tell me on what page the post detailing it is? ...or NOT!

Nams, since learning that you are a mom with boys to raise.... I am feeling the 'connection'.....LOL!


XBW
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PLAN D: finalized!
lunamare #1689175 09/10/06 08:01 PM
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Well two girls are quite a handful too. Last night's crisis was over whether to eat reheated macaroni and cheese or throw it out and start with new. I got my way finally but only under protest. We finally did call WW but they didn't talk very long. No crying or upset this time. Every day gets a little easier. We did remember to pick out clothes last night. Today is "green" day in kinder but I just discovered the DD2 does not have one single thing that is green. I think I will keep her home on St. Patrick's day. She bruises easily.

piojitos #1689176 09/10/06 08:26 PM
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Pio, imagining of you with your two little girls is quite sweet. One of the most tender things I've seen recently was a man putting his daughter's hair into pig tails. These big hands holding onto the skinny bits of hair while he was holding onto the bands in his mouth. The little girl just stood & waited. It's something we see mothers do all the time but for some reason it really touched my heart to see the dad in this role.

I also hate all those forms the school sends home. I have two packets waiting for me as I write this. Maybe tomorrow.

What's with the colors on particular days?

One thing I loved about a school my boys went to in Spain was uniforms. I wish we had them here. Much easier.

My last two boys a a year minus 2 days apart, Irish twins. When I had three boys 4 & under, two in diapers & a husband who traveled a lot, that's when I had my hands full.

Lets see luna 164 comes to mind. I'll check & post it. Did you say you were in Canada? We took a trip there one summer & I loved it. Beautiful country & the people were so nice plus you have ketchup flavor chips!


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piojitos #1689177 09/10/06 08:27 PM
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Well two girls are quite a handful too.


Geesh, Pio...you are soooooo predictable..... I was 'rubbing it in'......waiting for the proud father of his two little girls to 'show up'...... and you didn't disappoint!

Hummm...Pio....what's the 'idea' behind the colour-coding of the kids' clothes for school?


XBW
DS16 & DS22
PLAN D: finalized!
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